Porches and Private Eyes (2016) User Reviews

Comedy about three ladies of the South

[mracheklin · 5/10 · 7 May 2020]

Marilyn Cupit who played Patsy Lynn was the only person who could act. She was a believable character and in my opinion did a great job. The other members of the cast were terrible and I hope were not paid. The plot was confusing and did not deliver a good story. I liked the music which added a comedic flair but at times was too much, over used or seemed to overpower the spoken words. The writer/producer/diector was Travis Mills who despite being from Equador did seem to accomplish creating a movie with a Southern setting. Of course it helped they filmed in Mississippi ! Typical of the South, where there is a church on every corner, he chose to begin the movie with the town going to church. Next the ladies went to lunch in a restaurant located in an old house like where I used to go to in Alabama which also had a white linen tablecloth. They all drank iced sweet tea. And of course to no surprise , the film made sure to have good old Southern cheese grits. The scenery was beautiful including a big white house with columns, lush green trees and shrubs, and red pink flowers in bloom typical of Spring. A scene with pouring rain also confirmed the location. The only thing Travis Mills missed was a Confederate Flag! I did not understand why he chose one token black man to be in the story? I thought that was a major mistake. Obviously this was a low budget movie by a novice film maker from a foreign country. However, I congratualate Mr. Mills for a noble effort.

3 stars for the music

[stlmama2001 · 3/10 · 20 August 2018]

The music was not bad (liked the first performer) but the story was disjointed with some odd filler scenes and the acting was wooden with several awkward pauses.

Amateur Hour in Mississippi

[lm4983 · 1/10 · 10 July 2018]

This has the look and feel of a local theater production. Just a bunch of friends having fun. Fortunately it's free on Amazon Prime. I would have been really upset if I'd paid more than 50 cents to see it.

It revolves around 3 friends with various problems who support each other and regularly meet on someone's porch to talk about life, etc.. The resolution to their problems hinges on a new guy in town. Hilarity and high jinks definitely do not ensue.

This movie is not offensive in any way, but is more an exercise in mediocrity.

The worst

[meganrenee-14082 · 1/10 · 4 September 2018]

I really wish this wasn't recommend to me on Amazon. I kept watching because I wanted to see if it would get any better. It wasn't just a stupid sappy Hallmark movie. It was as if this was these actors first time acting. Absolutely TERRIBLE and such a waste of my time. Really makes me wonder who in the world actually enjoyed this!

They tried, they really tried

[itsreardon · 2/10 · 28 August 2018]

This movie is a good example of actors who thought they could act. After viewing this movie you will really appreciate actors who identify with their role. Nice try.

Sad

[curlygirl936 · 3/10 · 12 July 2020]

Very sad waste of film... Kept hoping it would get better. It didn't.

A sweet southern indie

[srienzo-342-345580 · 8/10 · 29 September 2016]

This film was so beautifully shot and full of gorgeous Mississippi locations. It's not only a tribute to Brookhaven but a fun and quirky mystery/comedy with three adorable female leads. The acting was natural and a joy to watch, as was the whole film full of deep southern charm! On a small budget, Running Wild Films and 5J Media have succeeded in producing a film that is technically perfect. The script played a little loose with why certain characters became protagonists and antagonists, but it was all tied up neatly with a bow at the end so that made up for it. It's rare and refreshing to see three women of various ages cast in the lead roles. And the enchanting result proves we should see more of that. Three cheers to "Porches and Private Eyes" for showing us that alone. Plus there are many more good reasons to check out this film!

Worst acting ever!

[muddlepup · 1/10 · 2 September 2018]

With all the out of work actors in the world I can't beleive they used this group! It's like they are personal friends of the director, or maybe he owed them a favor?

A great choice with mostly unknowns

[crazyivan58 · 8/10 · 10 September 2018]

This story starts out far too slow, but once into it you will want to see where it goes. And moving on through the story you do get a strong feeling this is a "home-made" movie- one where pretty well everybody involved knows everybody else.

Yes, the acting isn't of the Hollywood level, but in truth, that is a wonderful thing. You know these folks are working at being better and are working together to make this story happen.

And as stories go, this one is well put together. Kind of like one of those mystery books you come across in the library of a totally unknown author, and you realize it might have been their first book, but is still a great story line.

Truth is, we almost quit it about a third of the way into it, but then decided to really give these folks a chance. And at the end, seeing the credits, we were glad to have done so. This really was put together by a group of folks that know each other.

Where else will you see, in alphabetical order, the names of ALL the extras as well as all of those who donated via Kickstart to make this happen? The folks that made this story appreciate everybody that helped make it happen. And the end of the story does make it worth while.

Time Waster!

[paul-joanne-fb · 1/10 · 12 November 2018]

Absolutely the worst movie I have ever seen! Boring and amateurish. It's as though the actors have no acting experience whatsoever. One's time would be better spent watching paint dry or grass grow. In fact, I am wasting no further time to continue this review.

I kept wanting it to end

[michaelstorynewell · 2/10 · 27 June 2021]

Some of the worst acting I've ever seen in any film. I got the impression that the Producers picked local non-talent to adhere to their low budget guidelines. I suspect they got amateur actors from the local community playhouse. That's the feeling I got watching this catastrophe.

The dialogue was painful and pointless. It was as if the writer picked words that were not relevant to the story, which pretty much didn't exist, just to put words down to fill a blank sheet of paper.

I had hoped for better as the only reason I watched this movie was because it's the town my parents grew up in. I was very disappointed. I had hoped for better. The only reason this film got two stars was because of the affection I have for Brookhaven.

Brookhaven is a very cute and beautiful little town and did not deserve its name put on this film. I had hoped for better and was very disappointed. This film makes "plan nine from outer space" sound like Shakespeare. Sorry Brookhaven. I still love you.

Worst movie ever

[johnson-angelia · 1/10 · 26 May 2020]

I wish I could get back my time,that I just wasted.Every time I think that a movie is going to be good by reading the title it never is.From now on I'm only sticking to the big blockbusters tired of wasting my time on these cheesy movies.

A Delicious Escape

[drkniles · 8/10 · 10 December 2018]

Porches and Private Eyes is an entertaining ride filled with side stories wrapped around a mystery that doesn't reveal itself until you're immersed in the characters and their lives. There's a point at which you also realize that while the main mystery is the grounding for the piece, there are other stories being told that leave you asking questions...a web of mystery if you will. Campy and funny with spots of love and life. The characters stand on their own but also come together to tell this tale of humanness. Patsy steals the show...there's a little Patsy in all of us. She's funny and authentic and while her life is also one of sadness and loneliness, there she stands...bless her heart. I enjoyed this ride!

Southern hometown charm

[melibueto · 10/10 · 25 September 2018]

Loved it! Can't wait to see the sequel. Reminds me of everything I love about being Southern!