- Laura Diamond: Alibi checks out for both the councilperson and the web sleuth. So we're back at square one
- Meredith Bose: [Reading] Maybe square two
- Laura Diamond: Hi
- Steve Guttenberg: Yeah
- Laura Diamond: Steve Guttenburg? I'm detective Laura Diamond. You know, the "Police Academy"-movies inspired me to go into law enforcement
- Steve Guttenberg: Really?
- Laura Diamond: No! But, uh, I am a cop on the job and I need you to walk me in
- Steve Guttenberg: Let me see your badge
- Laura Diamond: [sighs] Feel my boob
- Steve Guttenberg: I'm sorry, what?
- Laura Diamond: Feel my boob! My badge is in my bra
- Steve Guttenberg: Okay
- Laura Diamond: The other boob
- Steve Guttenberg: Oh. Usually takes me a couple of drinks to get to second base
- [...]
- Steve Guttenberg: So, where do you keep your gun
- Laura Diamond: Don't push it!
- Max Carnegie: F to the I, newbie! You gave earring girl the wrong form! She only needed the A-210
- Francesca 'Frankie' Pulaski: No, no, no, Max! I... I was trying to stall her! I was doing a thang!
- Max Carnegie: You don't do thangs!
- Francesca 'Frankie' Pulaski: Well, I'm learning!
- Laura Diamond: How is she?
- Francesca 'Frankie' Pulaski: She's gonna be okay, Laura
- Laura Diamond: Not after I deal with her!