Billie Lourd credited as playing...
Chanel #3
- Chanel #3: [scared] You've come back to get revenge on me for saying you couldn't gay-pledge Kappa. I'm so sorry about that! Please don't kill me. I'm sorta gay now too.
- Chanel #3: You're Boone. You were killed by the Red Devil, which means...
- Boone Clemens: Fine. Okay, you caught me. I'm...
- Chanel #3: A ghost!
- Boone Clemens: Yeah. Yeah, I'm- I'm the ghost of dead Booooone!
- Chanel Oberlin: Thanksgiving is next Thursday, and if any of you stupid whores ever cracked a book every now and again, you'd know I'm dressed as Sacajawea. She helped the Pilgrims with their harvest on what is now known as the first Thanksgiving.
- Hester Ulrich: No she didn't, you're thinking of Squanto.
- Chanel Oberlin: Um, no. Squanto was friends with The Lone Ranger.
- Chanel #3: Sacajawea guided the Lewis and Clark expedition.
- Chanel Oberlin: What? No way! Sacajawea taught the Pilgrims how to make cranberry sauce and then, like, sang Blue Corn Moon or something.
- Hester Ulrich: That was Pocahontas.
- Chanel Oberlin: Dammit, are you serious? I'm trying to impress Mr. and Mrs. Radwell and I just spent two hours dressing up as the hag who didn't realize she was the third wheel on Lewis and Clark's gay camping extravaganza!
- Chanel #3: I am personally being haunted by a ghost... Late last night, I was walking around campus and I saw the ghost of dead gay Boone. The ghost of dead gay Boone is walking the earth. We had, like, a full conversation.
- Chanel #5: That is so stupid because ghosts don't exist.
- Chanel #3: Oh really? Then why won't my hands stop shaking?
- Chanel Oberlin: Because you're hungover.
- Chanel #3: Of course I'm hungover. You know why I had to get hammered last night? Because I saw the ghost of dead gay Boone!
- Chanel #5: He's not gonna stop until all of us are dead! He is the predator and we are the prey. They only way to stop the killings? Cut off his food supply.
- Chanel #3: Wait. When did he start eating us?
- Denise Hemphill: Yeah.
- Chanel #5: Well, you know, you guys are more than welcome to stay here and be the next on his list, but I am leaving campus immediately.
- [gies to door, then turns back, sighs]
- Chanel #5: Not that it matters. I wouldn't put it past him to hunt all of us down one by one.
- [leaves]
- Chanel Oberlin: Let's wait to hear if she makes it downstairs to make sure the killer isn't still here.
- Denise Hemphill: Mm-hmm.
- Chanel Oberlin: I'm about to be, like, *super* rich.
- Chanel #5: Not if the ghost murders you first.
- Chanel #3: Or it follows you home and murders you here.
- Hester Ulrich: Or if you get murdered tonight because it's the last night of Kappa Kappa Tau and it seems *highly* likely that the killer will come after us.