- Henry Hart: Looks like my dad's gonna be in the hospital all night.
- Charlotte Page: Your dad got hurt? What happened?
- Henry Hart: No. Piper broke Jasper's nose with her selfie stick.
- Charlotte Page: Oh, my god. Piper got a selfie stick?
- Henry Hart: Yeah, I guess.
- Captain Man: So you think it's okay to hypnotize innocent prize winners?
- Kid Danger: And force them to give their prizes back?
- Captain Man: So you guys can sell them for money?
- Maddy: [together with Derek] It's worked out great so far. Made a lot of money.
- Derek: [together with Maddy] Well, yeah, I mean, we have no problem with it.
- Mr. Hart: I called Jasper's parents, but they can't come to the hospital.
- Henry Hart: Why can't they?
- Mr. Hart: They ordered a pizza... and they wanna wait for the pizza.
- Henry Hart: Got it.
- Henry Hart: Man, heh-heh, I can't believe I'm gonna be on Spin and Win.
- Mr. Gooch: Hey, what if Henry doen't win?
- Charlotte Page: He BETTER win.
- Henry Hart: Why?
- Ray Manchester: So YOU'LL get the prizes...
- Charlotte Page: And then we wait at your house to see if you get burglarized.
- Henry Hart: Wait. Hang on.
- Charlotte Page: What?
- Henry Hart: You're smarter than me. Why don't you go on the show and win?
- Charlotte Page: I don't want MY house burgled.
- [the henchwomen strike martial art poses]
- Kid Danger: I think those girls want to fight us.
- Captain Man: I could think of worse things.
- Dr. Baxter: Gary. So I want you to just grab his nose and try to shove the ethmoid bone deep into his nasal septum.
- Gary: Huh?
- Dr. Baxter: I'm not gonna say it twice, Gary. Just DO it!
- Mr. Hart: Hey, Henry, would you please come home?
- Henry Hart: Why?
- Mr. Hart: 'Cause Jasper came over to hang out, but... you're not here, Piper doesn't like him, your mom's at the rodeo till Sunday, and I got nothin' to say to this kid.
- Kid Danger: Captain Man!
- Captain Man: What?
- Kid Danger: These girls are dudes!
- Captain Man: [pulling off wigs] They ARE dudes!
- Derek: Did YOU know they were dudes?
- Maddy: I had no idea.
- Kid Danger: Now what?
- Captain Man: Well, now we can hit 'em as hard and as often a we want!
- Kid Danger: Then let's do that!
- Keith: Sorry. You can't use cameras in here, or camera-related sticks. I'm gonna have to take your phone and your stick.
- Piper Hart: You can try!
- Keith: Gimme it.
- Piper Hart: Paws off!