Plot

Sheldon panics when Leonard announces he has to go into the hospital for surgery. Raj discovers his parents have divorced.

After Leonard tells Sheldon that he is having surgery to repair his deviated septum, Sheldon is convinced that Leonard will be the one in seven hundred thousand that will die from the anesthesia. Sheldon tries to convince Leonard of his early demise from this unnecessary surgery by reducing the odds through other factors. As such, Leonard has to figure out a way to get the procedure done without letting Sheldon know. Meanwhile, Raj tries to figure out what to get his parents for their fortieth wedding anniversary. An incident with the Koothrappalis makes Howard and Bernadette wonder if they will make it to their fortieth, and what they can do to strengthen their marriage.—Huggo

Sheldon and Amy are playing a game where Sheldon has to guess that he is Nikola Tesla. Amy calls him an under-appreciated genius and Sheldon is sure that it is himself. There is a car named after him and Sheldon thinks that it's the Mini-Cooper. Finally he gets it when Amy calls him a poor man's Sheldon Cooper.

Leonard and Penny come in from shopping and having gone to the doctor. Leonard had a camera shoved up his nose and was diagnosed with surgery because he has a deviated septum. Sheldon doesn't want Leonard to have the surgery. Amy points out that he always complains about his snoring. The noise helps Sheldon sleep. End of the story, Leonard is going through it.

That night Sheldon is watching Leonard snore in bed when Leonard suddenly wakes up. He admits that the snoring helps him sleep. That which is bothering Sheldon is if the surgery is successful, his snoring is gone. Or if he dies in surgery, the snoring is gone. One in seven hundred thousand people die during surgery from anesthesia. Leonard says that it worked out for the other 699,999.

Raj is having dinner with Howard and Bernadette at their apartment and is fretting over finding a gift for his parents' fortieth wedding anniversary. He thinks about making them a gift like the drink coasters with a picture of his face he gave Howard and Bernadette.

The next day, Leonard arrives home and finds Sheldon is at his whiteboard. Sheldon has been considering everything that could possibly go wrong with Leonard's surgery and has the odds down to one in three hundred. His factors include an allergic reaction to latex gloves, the surgeon might have an epileptic seizure, driving to the hospital, falling down the apartment stairs and an asteroid hitting the earth. Leonard appreciates his concern, but assures him that he is not going to die.

Howard shows up at Raj's apartment to hang out and Raj is on the phone with his father. Raj has learned that his parents have split up. Raj breaks down saying that now he comes from a broken home.

Leonard and Penny are in the hospital waiting room filling out paperwork. Leonard tells Penny that he told Sheldon they were going Human swimming in the public swimming pool.

Sheldon is eating in Amy's car figuring out how much urine would be in the water of a public pool. And he is eating French toast sticks getting Amy's dashboard sticky. He wonders how he could go since he doesn't have his swimming t-shirt which was destroyed last year when they cut him out of it after getting sunburned. After pestering her, she admits that Leonard got an earlier date for surgery and was having it that morning. Sheldon then insists that Amy take him to the hospital.

Amy and Sheldon find Penny is in the waiting room who looks uncomfortable after seeing them. Penny complains to Amy that she had to tell him, but she was distracted because he wore extra baby powder. Leonard is still in the operating room. She pats his hand and finds it still sticky from the syrup.

Bernadette and Howard come by Raj's office to bring him some muffins. Bernadette keeps making muffin jokes and Howard tells her that they're not that funny. Raj is feeling better and admits the news was harder on him than he thought. Bernadette understands as she would be devastated if her parents split up. Howard says that her father barely speaks to her mother. Bernadette says at least her father stuck around unlike his.

Back in the waiting room, Penny mentions the teddy bear and balloon that Sheldon brought him. It's not for Leonard. Amy got it for Sheldon since he stubbed his toe in a revolving door on the way in the hospital when he kept going around and around (he got distracted by the lobby's plant). Penny also asks him to not give Leonard a hard time when he is done since he will not be feeling good. Sheldon promises nothing since Leonard took unnecessary risks and deceived him. Penny cares because she is going to spend the rest of her life with him. "And I'm not?" shouts Sheldon as he disturbs Penny. Then the waiting room shakes due to an earthquake tremor which startles Sheldon. He wonders if that could turn a deviated septum into a lobotomy. Then when the lights go out, Sheldon gets up quickly and heads for the operating room running into the glass on the door.

Howard and Bernadette are in their apartment sitting at the table talking more about marriage. She doesn't want things to remain bottled up like with Raj's parents and wonders if there is something about her that bothers him. First he thinks he is in a trap and then he tells Bernadette that she is just too beautiful at times. Instead as in Howard's therapy class, they start telling each other what they like. It starts out find and then it degenerates into what they don't like, but in eerie positive statements.

Back in the apartment Sheldon and Leonard are in their robes on the couch both with bandages on their nose. Penny is taking their picture for this year's Christmas card. It was revealed that despite the earthquake and minor power outage, the surgery still went through without any trouble. Sheldon still lists all the post-operative problems that could plague Leonard. Penny says that Sheldon is never going to leave Leonard, though Amy insists that he will move out eventually. Leonard is teasing Sheldon telling him nasally "You Wuv me."

Raj walks in on them having a round-about argument and says that his mom has already started dating someone. She was probably doing that while she was married. She also has bought the book "Eat, Pray, Love" and also set his father's car on fire. Howard mentions that they were telling themselves about all the things they love about each other. Raj remembers that they had done that together at couples therapy which shocks Bernadette.

Finally, after both guys have recovered a bit Sheldon is unpacking the urn he bought for Leonard, in case the worst happened. Penny wants him to send it back; however, Sheldon got it engraved, making that not possible. "Here lie the ashes of Leonard Hofstadter. He thought he was right, but his roommate knew better." He also got one for himself which said "I'm with stupid."

Title reference: Leonard has deviated septum surgery against Sheldon's wishes.