- Poussey Washington: [reading Suzanne's erotica] "The Admiral thrust his pork sword into her squish mitten"?
- Tasha 'Taystee' Jefferson: Suzanne's erotica. It's worse than Fifty Shades!
- Poussey Washington: Not possible. How many times she use the word "jeez"?
- Cindy Hayes: See, that's the thing with the internet. Nobody's a freak no more. See, it used to be all these weirdos, sittin' alone in their houses, jerkin' it to bugs, or falling in love with their toasters, feelin' all creepy and sad. Now, all they got to do is log on, and find the same-minded toaster-loving peeps, and like, bam, suddenly shit be perfectly normal! Shawty, you could be into cannibalism, or like being tickled. It don't matter. Somebody out there gonna like what you like.
- Berdie Rogers: This was not the assignment.
- Suzanne 'Crazy Eyes' Warren: You asked us to use our imagination.
- Berdie Rogers: I asked you to re-imagine a primary life experience. Not write a kinky sex fantasy set in space.
- Suzanne 'Crazy Eyes' Warren: It's not just sex, it's *love*. It's two people connecting... with four other people, and aliens.
- Tasha 'Taystee' Jefferson: Um, Berdie just trying to protect her stupid ass class.
- Suzanne 'Crazy Eyes' Warren: Chang got to do her scene and it's all heads chopping off and organs coming out.
- Tasha 'Taystee' Jefferson: That's because this is America. Violence is all good and fine but sex... Lord no.