- Yahtzee: This isn't the game for you if you like jumping right into the action. Come to think of it, this isn't the game for you even if you don't. I'm not sure what kind of person could consider this the game for them, but they probably live in a cave and subsist on raw fish. Nostalgia is the only reason Sonic still gets a free ride despite repeatedly rubbing his little blue balls in our face with terrible game after terrible game. Sonic is done. He's past it. He doesn't need more games, he needs help! Specifically the kind of help that involves taking him behind the shed and tearfully putting both barrels through his confused, oblivious little face. Stuff him, mount him, repurpose him as a litter picking device.
- Yahtzee: The particular substance Sonic is abusing this time around is dual world gameplay, because Nintendo were all over that for a while, and Sonic is nothing if not willing to jog sweatily along about fifty feet behind the band wagon. You get to explore various thinly disguised countries of the world in either the day or the night. During the day, you're lovable, drug-crazed has-been normal Sonic. During the night, you turn into a werehog - which, as I've been quick to remind everyone with assuredly insufferable smugness, is a misnomer! Because the word "werewolf" derives from the old English word "wer" meaning "man", so "man-wolf". A more appropriate word would be "hog-wolf" or "wolf-hog" although I'm not sure he's even supposed to be a wolf, because wolves don't usually possess stretchy arms or run around ripping off God of War.