Mike Jeavons: Mike J.

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Mike J. : Hello, I'm a British person, and I think it's about time that I review from the television. But how to keep it consistent with my theme?

  [the intro for Goosebumps plays as Mike continues to talk] 

  Mike J. : Yes, Goosebumps, the 90's horror novel series for kids by R.L. Stine, the only writer who can complete a novel within 12 hours. And that's writing, not reading. And when you consider it took me about three years to finish mine, you have to admire the man for his relentless ambition. I mean, the guy couldn't have even pissed in that time to be able to do it that quickly; he must literally be exploding with ideas, because there are more Goosebumps books than I can shake a large stick at. And it was inevitable that the series would eventually be adapted for TV to compete with the likes of Are You Afraid of the Dark? and Eerie, Indiana. As a kid, I had my favourites, one of them being the obviously Child's Play-inspired Night of the Living Dummy, a tale about a demonic ventriliquist dummy who tried to murder kids. Oddly, the first Night of the Living Dummy was never adapted for TV, and instead, they made the second as part of Series 1; it wasn't great, but it was far from awful. And then, as a part of Series 2, I heard they were making Night of the Living Dummy 3, and I was elated! So let's jump right in!

• [last lines] 

  Mike J. : So that was Night of the Living Dummy 3; great book, not-so-great adaptation. The dummies' designs are really cool, but I just can't help but find it funny - not scary - when it's obviously a person in a costume; it takes any sense of horror or fear straight out of it. What was wrong with them just using a dummy like they did in the first one? Well, second one.

  R.L. Stine : Now there's a story that's sure to turn some heads.

  Puppet R.L. Stine : The ending did have a good twist.

  Mike J. : And can R.L. Stine only speak in puns?