Miles Brown nel ruolo di...
Jack Johnson
- Andre Johnson, Jr.: [describing when he was spanked] It was the Thursday of a leap year. The air was crisp, the sky was blue, and the belt was black!
- Jack Johnson: I don't want to hear any more!
- Andre Johnson, Jr.: Not even about the color of my tears? They were red!
- Jack Johnson: Aaaah!
- Zoey Johnson: Okay. Don't be mean. He's scared.
- Andre Johnson, Jr.: He should be. It's terrifying. I mean, not for me. I'm too old to be spanked. I've aged out.
- Pops: Where'd you hear that, Junior?
- Andre Johnson, Jr.: Well, I mean, I'm 13 now. That means I'm out of the whupping window.
- Pops: Yeah, but you still have an ass, don't you? That means you're still in the window.
- Diane Johnson: My research shows we have legal options: emancipation, extrication, and if all else fails, relocation.
- Pops: Damn, Diane, I wish I had you when I divorced Grandma. Might've held on to my Lincoln.
- Andre Johnson, Jr.: You're just messing with me, right? I mean, nobody's going to spank a ninth-grader, right?
- Pops: What's age got to do with it? I spanked your daddy when he came home for the summer from college. He was all "Oh, I'm in college now! Listen to how smart my mouth is!" I was like POP!
- Zoey Johnson: Okay, come on, Pops! We all know no one spanks anymore.
- Pops: Oh, well look who's sitting there all cocky thinking she's safe 'cause she's a girl. Whupping don't care what you are. An ass is an ass is an ass is an ass. POP!