- Russ Hanneman: It's not about how much you earn. It's about what you're worth. And who's worth the most? Companies that lose money. Pintrest, Snapchat, no revenue. Amazon has lost money for every fucking quarter for the last 20 fucking years and that Jeff Bezos is the king.
- Donald 'Jared' Dunn: It's a pretty good deal, all things considered, and Richard, I'd understand if you took it.
- Richard Hendricks: Thank you, Jared.
- Donald 'Jared' Dunn: But Hooli was like an abusive spouse to me. You know, like that guy who married Julia Roberts in "Sleeping With The Enemy"? It was dehumanizing. But then, you, Richard, you pulled me out of the life and you gave me hope and you gave me a sense of self-worth. Like Richard Gere did to Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman". Every day here has been like that shopping-spree scene. I'm putting on hats.
- Richard Hendricks: This is a good buy-out. It's way better than what Gavin offered before. And our packages include nice salaries, cash earn-outs, stock in Hooli, which vests after only four years of working there. I mean, this seems like a pretty good deal, right?
- Dinesh Chugtai: Hooli? You really think we'd go work for Hooli? What the fuck is wrong with you, Richard?
- Richard Hendricks: What other options do we have? We need serious funding to go up against Nucleus, and we don't have that. So, listen...
- Bertram Gilfoyle: ...I will listen to the sound of you chortling on my balls.
- Richard Hendricks: Richard, I'm an independent businessman. Emphasis on "independent". And "business". And "man", come to think of it. Count me out.
- Donald 'Jared' Dunn: Actually, you're not being offered employment at Hooli. They give you a full buy-out.
- Erlich Bachman: [Suddenly interested] How big?
- Gavin Belson: Everyone on Twitter is saying I'm an anti-Semite. You were there.
- Spiritual Advisor: I was. And what I saw was an anti anti-Semite.
- Gavin Belson: [On a talk show] I counsel any young founder today to pursue your dream not for profit or valuation or material wealth, but for the good of humanity.
- Kara: Which is easy for you to say, being a billionaire.
- Gavin Belson: don't care for your tone, Kara. I'm getting a little tired of this bias against the leaders of our industry. I'm continually creating jobs and helping people, and I'm tired of getting slapped for it. I didn't steal the money I have, and I resent being treated like I did. You know, there is a climate in this country that is very dangerous.
- Kara: It's dangerous out there for billionaires?
- Gavin Belson: There's that attitude again, Kara. Billionaires are people, too. We are leaders in technology, in industry, in finance. Look at history. Do you know who else vilified a tiny minority of financiers and progressive thinkers called the Jews?
- Kara: Wait a minute. Did you just compare the treatment of billionaires in America today to the plight of the Jews in Nazi Germany?
- Gavin Belson: Absolutely. One could argue that billionaires are actually treated worse. And we didn't even do anything wrong. We're an even smaller minority. There's a lot more of them.
- Erlich Bachman: Gentlemen, what's the update on the apps? Or the "app-date," if you will?
- Bertram Gilfoyle: I will not.
- Dinesh Chugtai: Here's my app-date I was excited to work on it, and then I looked at it with fresh eyes. Um, Wajeed was right. It's really shitty. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking.
- Erlich Bachman: But I bought your pitch.
- Dinesh Chugtai: Yeah, you fucked up, too.