I've been giving this film a bit of thought since I saw it last week. Like You Mean It is a subtle, interesting film and I definitely recommend that you see it. Philipp Karner, writes, directs and plays the lead role in a slice-of-life about a gay couple whose relationship is put under the microscope as frustrated actor Mark starts to withdraw from intimacy, leaving his long-suffering boyfriend confused and hurt. The script is naturalistic with some sparkling, well-observed dialogue and strong performances from the actors, particularly in the cameo parts. The film is lovingly crafted and the use of audio to create ambiance and a sense of space is outstanding. The narrative pace is nicely judged and is punctuated by scenes of Mark driving around his home town, alternately attempting to save and sabotage his relationship, all the while ignoring calls from his sister back in Austria. The niggling flaw with the film is what gets left unsaid. There are hints of past medical issues, there are hints that Mark's relationship with his family is problematic but none of this is called out explicitly. When the resolution comes we're left unsatisfied and wondering why. Like Mark, the director is holding out on his audience, and while on the whole the unfolding tale is subtly and elegantly told it just falls short of creating sufficient motive to explain his character's actions. That said the film is an absorbing 90 minute window onto the world of a struggling couple, raises some interesting questions about how we undermine ourselves and is elegantly sketched. I'll definitely be looking out for more from Philipp Karner.
16 Reviews
Thoughtful drama of a gay couple at a crossroads.
fcwemyss17 January 2016
This is a good film. On the surface it is about a gay couple struggling to stay together, but it is actually about one-half of this couple.
Mark, played by LIKE YOU MEAN IT'S writer/director, Philipp Karner, doesn't merely have difficulty committing, he has increasing difficulty communicating with anyone. His character is interesting, especially in that, as a professional actor, auditioning generally for voice-over assignments, he must use a wide variety of voices. That English is not his native language, and though he has mastered an infinite variety of American accents, he is finding himself unable to continue.
Jonah, his boyfriend, played by Denver Milord, is a struggling musician. What is very subtle about this movie is that it shows us typical tensions a gay couple experiences but demonstrates a unique element: Post-traumatic stress disorder. Jonah, an intelligent man, is helpless to reach Mark, whose relationship to his estranged father is the backdrop to this couple's crisis.
It is well-acted and photographed, and unlike a lot of movies which have entertainers as main characters, it shows what they do. We see that Mark isn't just an actor down on his luck. We see him auditioning and we realize he's good. When Jonah sings to Mark one night, at Mark's request, we are shown that he is good and that he is doing the sort of music heard today. This adds to the realism.
LIKE IT IS is as thoughtful as any story by John Updike or Joyce Carol Oates. The short story may be the form which has most influenced this film. In my view, that is a plus.
Mark, played by LIKE YOU MEAN IT'S writer/director, Philipp Karner, doesn't merely have difficulty committing, he has increasing difficulty communicating with anyone. His character is interesting, especially in that, as a professional actor, auditioning generally for voice-over assignments, he must use a wide variety of voices. That English is not his native language, and though he has mastered an infinite variety of American accents, he is finding himself unable to continue.
Jonah, his boyfriend, played by Denver Milord, is a struggling musician. What is very subtle about this movie is that it shows us typical tensions a gay couple experiences but demonstrates a unique element: Post-traumatic stress disorder. Jonah, an intelligent man, is helpless to reach Mark, whose relationship to his estranged father is the backdrop to this couple's crisis.
It is well-acted and photographed, and unlike a lot of movies which have entertainers as main characters, it shows what they do. We see that Mark isn't just an actor down on his luck. We see him auditioning and we realize he's good. When Jonah sings to Mark one night, at Mark's request, we are shown that he is good and that he is doing the sort of music heard today. This adds to the realism.
LIKE IT IS is as thoughtful as any story by John Updike or Joyce Carol Oates. The short story may be the form which has most influenced this film. In my view, that is a plus.
Slow - but interesting
cekadah18 September 2016
Warning: Spoilers
On the surface this film is about two guys - Mark and Jonah - slowly drifting apart. Their relationship has hit a dead end which is mostly due to Mark. Mark is cold and unable to connect emotionally with Jonah. Jonah is the nice guy willing to give in to Mark to maintain their relationship.
The real story is about Mark! I don't know if director/writer Philip Karner intended this but that's what I got out of the story. Mark is estranged or rather alienated from his family back in Germany (by the way Mark surprisingly has no accent). Mark is discovering that he is turning into his father! Through conversations you discover that Mark's father was a cold, distant, and unemotional man. Mark sees these same traits within himself and he cannot deal with it. He visits a Dr. and is put on antidepressants. This in turn makes matters worse for himself and Jonah. They both go to a therapist and Mark withdraws even more into himself. Mark is told by his sister that their father has died and Mark doesn't even bother to mention it to Jonah. Jonah just wants to connect with Mark and Mark cannot. Even in trying he puts a drug into their drinks one night when they plan to just have an evening of fun at home together.
Mark is obsessed with having his automobile washed. This is symbolic of Mark's need to be perfect on the outside. Keep it clean and nice and everything will be alright - but we never see Mark clean the interior of his auto. Mark is superficial on all levels and he doesn't know how to break into his own self. On the inside he's hollow, there's nothing to clean. He wants to be an actor but we know he will never make it there. He has the looks but not the will.
We see Mark leave Jonah. But in walking away from this relationship does Mark suddenly find himself? At movies end Mark sees Jonah at a wedding and Mark has written a letter for Jonah.
The real story is about Mark! I don't know if director/writer Philip Karner intended this but that's what I got out of the story. Mark is estranged or rather alienated from his family back in Germany (by the way Mark surprisingly has no accent). Mark is discovering that he is turning into his father! Through conversations you discover that Mark's father was a cold, distant, and unemotional man. Mark sees these same traits within himself and he cannot deal with it. He visits a Dr. and is put on antidepressants. This in turn makes matters worse for himself and Jonah. They both go to a therapist and Mark withdraws even more into himself. Mark is told by his sister that their father has died and Mark doesn't even bother to mention it to Jonah. Jonah just wants to connect with Mark and Mark cannot. Even in trying he puts a drug into their drinks one night when they plan to just have an evening of fun at home together.
Mark is obsessed with having his automobile washed. This is symbolic of Mark's need to be perfect on the outside. Keep it clean and nice and everything will be alright - but we never see Mark clean the interior of his auto. Mark is superficial on all levels and he doesn't know how to break into his own self. On the inside he's hollow, there's nothing to clean. He wants to be an actor but we know he will never make it there. He has the looks but not the will.
We see Mark leave Jonah. But in walking away from this relationship does Mark suddenly find himself? At movies end Mark sees Jonah at a wedding and Mark has written a letter for Jonah.
Honest depiction of a relationship in turmoil.
t-dooley-69-38691612 April 2016
Mark is an actor who like many is struggling; he is having other problems and has a past of mental issues. He decides that he wants to reconnect with his caring partner – Joshua. The thing is he does not know how and in trying to do so he starts to learn more about who he actually is.
We follow him and his partner Joshua on their journey and it can be slow going at times – but life is hardly a white knuckle roller coaster ride all of the time – so I am fine with this. The issues they have seemed to be universal and not just limited to the gay community and that is exemplified by some of their straight friends who have alternate relationship issues.
Now as I said this can be slow in places but it is the resonant honesty about the characters and situations that will pull you in and make you care. It is all handled in a very adult way. It is also acted extremely well and the cinematographer has done a rather excellent job with the complimentary and often inventive camera shots. There are some bedroom scenes here too but nothing to frighten the horses or anything. It is one for people who like their films to be more on the contemplative side and if that is your thing then I am sure you will find a lot here to appreciate.
We follow him and his partner Joshua on their journey and it can be slow going at times – but life is hardly a white knuckle roller coaster ride all of the time – so I am fine with this. The issues they have seemed to be universal and not just limited to the gay community and that is exemplified by some of their straight friends who have alternate relationship issues.
Now as I said this can be slow in places but it is the resonant honesty about the characters and situations that will pull you in and make you care. It is all handled in a very adult way. It is also acted extremely well and the cinematographer has done a rather excellent job with the complimentary and often inventive camera shots. There are some bedroom scenes here too but nothing to frighten the horses or anything. It is one for people who like their films to be more on the contemplative side and if that is your thing then I am sure you will find a lot here to appreciate.
honest story
Kirpianuscus17 September 2022
A delicate theme just well explored. Sensitive subjects , from the stress about future to the complicated lines of relationship are wise used , exposed, explored in beautiful manner.
The shadow of madness as presence and the great cinematography are two good points of this film who not desires to impress but proposing a fair, honest tone about ordinary pressures and the answers to them.
The acting can be defined as key of this special drama for the slow story, for the reflection moments, for the way to reflect crisis , for the simplicity and gentle pieces defining the characters. A story who has so many chances to be perceived as a personal one.
The shadow of madness as presence and the great cinematography are two good points of this film who not desires to impress but proposing a fair, honest tone about ordinary pressures and the answers to them.
The acting can be defined as key of this special drama for the slow story, for the reflection moments, for the way to reflect crisis , for the simplicity and gentle pieces defining the characters. A story who has so many chances to be perceived as a personal one.
More to this than meets the eye
ekeby20 February 2017
This is one of those movies that isn't going to spoon feed you the plot. You just have to experience what's happening, what's going on.
And at first there doesn't seem to be much going on. After a while we know we're seeing the dynamics of a couple who are at the beginning of a breakup.
But that's what's on the surface. Beneath the surface, this is really a portrait of an actor. A family event triggers self-examination that makes him aware that he's been acting his way through life. He does it so well he's not always aware of what he's doing. Clearly, though, he's disassociated himself from significant and important parts of his life, including the relationship that is beginning to unravel.
I liked this movie. It's for adults. That the couple in question is gay is a bonus because most of what's made for our market is pretty cartoon-like. Pseudo rom-coms or overwrought tragedies. This is more like real life, even though the two main characters lead a somewhat more exotic life than most of us do. But it's a nice change of pace. It's not in the same league as Weekend or Futuro Beach, but it's not that far behind.
Give it a chance.
And at first there doesn't seem to be much going on. After a while we know we're seeing the dynamics of a couple who are at the beginning of a breakup.
But that's what's on the surface. Beneath the surface, this is really a portrait of an actor. A family event triggers self-examination that makes him aware that he's been acting his way through life. He does it so well he's not always aware of what he's doing. Clearly, though, he's disassociated himself from significant and important parts of his life, including the relationship that is beginning to unravel.
I liked this movie. It's for adults. That the couple in question is gay is a bonus because most of what's made for our market is pretty cartoon-like. Pseudo rom-coms or overwrought tragedies. This is more like real life, even though the two main characters lead a somewhat more exotic life than most of us do. But it's a nice change of pace. It's not in the same league as Weekend or Futuro Beach, but it's not that far behind.
Give it a chance.
Great Potential, But Falls Flat
steve-seuser30 August 2015
This film has some components of a good film -- romantic relationship facing some challenges, overall good acting, an international aspect with German dialog, great production quality, and enough plot to explore the potential impact of life events on the main characters -- so I was surprised that it left me dissatisfied most of the way through the film. The main character, Mark, remains virtually emotionless throughout, with the exception of a mental/emotional collapse in one scene. He remains an impervious handsome lead we're hoping might become human. His partner Jonah expresses more emotion, and we have more of a sense of his character and longings. But the script fails to develop these two characters, instead indulging in scenes of sexual imagery and intimacy to seduce its viewers.
Mark's lack of emotional involvement extends to virtually all areas of his life, including his family in Austria and his work as an actor on the fringes of Hollywood. The straight couple who are friends of Mark and Jonah show flashes of humanity, but no particularly compelling story relevant to the film. In the final scene, Mark's modest attempt to reach Jonah may be intended to show his humanity, but there's no hint of what he learned or why he's changed. I gained little insight into these characters in the film, certainly felt no connection to them or their lives, and wondered what the writer/director was trying to communicate. This isn't uncommon among current films -- with attractive actors whose physical appearance is their only identity, leaving audiences to watch them without knowing much of anything about them. Their appearance speaks for itself.
Give me Scenes From a Marriage by Ingmar Bergman for a slow-moving but dramatic film or else a film with a gripping plot. Pretty actors, skin, a slow-paced plot, and no drama fall flat for me.
Mark's lack of emotional involvement extends to virtually all areas of his life, including his family in Austria and his work as an actor on the fringes of Hollywood. The straight couple who are friends of Mark and Jonah show flashes of humanity, but no particularly compelling story relevant to the film. In the final scene, Mark's modest attempt to reach Jonah may be intended to show his humanity, but there's no hint of what he learned or why he's changed. I gained little insight into these characters in the film, certainly felt no connection to them or their lives, and wondered what the writer/director was trying to communicate. This isn't uncommon among current films -- with attractive actors whose physical appearance is their only identity, leaving audiences to watch them without knowing much of anything about them. Their appearance speaks for itself.
Give me Scenes From a Marriage by Ingmar Bergman for a slow-moving but dramatic film or else a film with a gripping plot. Pretty actors, skin, a slow-paced plot, and no drama fall flat for me.
going through a rough patch
ksf-218 October 2022
Sometimes hard to watch, with the subject matter of someone who may or may not be helped by taking (or not taking) wellbutrin, or other antidepressants. Or maybe the dosage wasn't right. It was a good depiction of the on again off again success of any meds, or dose. About halfway through, the guy on the meds owns the poor communication and the effect his actions are having on their relationship. His partner seems to be willing to wait things out, and to attend the therapy sessions. I really liked when the therapist asked them if they were looking to get into the relationship, or out of the relationship. Nice bottom line! A couple of reviewers have written that they aren't happy with the ending, but I think it summed up a real life situation. Another reviewer mentioned that they didn't see the point of showing their straight friends "timeout" relationship. But i think it was important to show the two main characters' reactions to what their friends were doing.... it kind of told us where they might stand on things. Good acting, if difficult to watch a couple going through really rough times.
Excellent acting
kuta_kpz6 January 2020
This very good excellent actor did a good job. The cinema view is awesome. When jonah sing that is so good as well. The downfall is plot stories slow no go anywhere for a movie. You cannot get any meaning for drama. Stories line so boringly. I hope they continue to bring the climax of this movie. This just like a long introduction.
Mental illness defines the person.....
ohlabtechguy13 January 2019
Interesting to see a film that depicts a central character that has a mental disorder for which he's received treatment. Mental disorders are very common, but most people don't recognize it when they see it. Often, it's associated with substance abuse problems. In the end, it's hard to tell which came first....the mental problem or the drug or alcohol abuse. In this story, Mark, the leading character, doesn't seem to have a drug problem, but he certainly is struggling with mental issues, none of which become well illuminated. It's unfortunate because nothing is learned about how to deal with loved ones who have mental problems. Even Jonah, Mark's boyfriend, doesn't seem to have a clue. Nor does their relationship therapist. The film remains a germ of a good idea, but it never got what it needed to fully germinate.
Disillusioned & Disappointed
ljmcfarland7 January 2024
Warning: Spoilers
Although the cinematography and actors were interesting I found the plot was depressing.
To like a film, I have to either relate to at least one of the characters or enjoy the subject matter. In this case, neither were found in this. The two main character seemed to both just walk through the movie with neither of them showing any chemistry. I question if either actor was gay. The character of Joshua was perhaps the most sympathetic of the pair, yet eventually became the more annoyingly pathetic. I never understood why he continued to stay with Mark. Nor could I understand what the reason was for all the times that car went through the car wash. The best thing about "Like You Mean It" is that we didn't waste the money in purchasing the DVD.
To like a film, I have to either relate to at least one of the characters or enjoy the subject matter. In this case, neither were found in this. The two main character seemed to both just walk through the movie with neither of them showing any chemistry. I question if either actor was gay. The character of Joshua was perhaps the most sympathetic of the pair, yet eventually became the more annoyingly pathetic. I never understood why he continued to stay with Mark. Nor could I understand what the reason was for all the times that car went through the car wash. The best thing about "Like You Mean It" is that we didn't waste the money in purchasing the DVD.
Good Movie!!
blakeedwardboyd8 December 2015
Saw this film in LA and was surprised by it's simplicity and power. This is not a "gay movie". Yes, the focus of the story is on a gay man but we start to realize it's about his difficulty loving himself and hence others. We understand why and how life is increasingly challenging for him as he attempts (as a European in America) to manage his past and get healthier. Mainstream audiences may be reluctant to pay to see a film about a gay man but star/writer/director Philipp Karner handles the sex scenes and sexuality in a restrained manner which affords all of us an understanding of the gay culture without offending. As a straight man, I really enjoyed the movie. I highly recommend LIKE YOU MEAN IT...for its wonderful, economical writing, direction and performances as well as its ability to enlighten and entertain!
The height of gay cinema
Coralknight24 November 2016
I really can't think of other gay-themed movies that come close to the class, plot and execution of this film. As it was written and directed by the main character (Mark/Markus) my immediate reaction was that it would be a self-indulgent vehicle for this actor to highlight/showcase his skills (usually meaning lack thereof). But no...this was really incredible on all levels. The writing and acting was completely believable (I'm even wondering if some of the characters ad libbed because they "owned" their roles so well). The subject matter is a failing relationship; common enough to most people. Yet the twist is not that this is a gay relationship so much as it was really doomed from the beginning due to the mental/psychological baggage of one of the characters. The pace, editing and cinematography spoke VOLUMES for the characters as opposed to dialogue in places...I totally GOT it. I would highly recommend this Indie film for anyone who enjoys psychological drama.
Hard work
earl-rose20 March 2020
First you fall in love. Then you try to figure out what happened and what will happen next. When the early bloom is over, there is some work to do. Depending on that first flash, the compulsions and the strange feeling of happiness with another person, comes the work. To make something out of those initial fireworks. This film explores this period of construction, or reconstruction. Sometimes there is a good foundation to build on, sometimes not. This film explores that second building phase from a gay perspective but it could happen with any couple. The actors are charming, even the one who resists happiness. I had the feeling of completion by the end. Work was done, a result was achieved. Helped by able handsome actors as the couple and a very good supporting cast, this is well worth a few viewings. This was my second or third and I still hung on to my seat.
Wished I never watched this...
bradsteffensen27 October 2021
If you've ever given 1000% into a relationship, put up with things that you'd usually not. Only to find out what you thought to be love was only in your head. Turns out he is a narcissist 13 years in left broken empty and your youth disintegrated for nothing...I'd suggest you not watch this. Anyone else learn from what kind of person Mark truly is.
High quality
theard33-463-36580830 April 2020
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