Mercenaries (2014) User Reviews

Mediocre and cheesy, but somehow enjoyable and dumb fun

[QCTeamkill · 5/10 · 9 August 2014]

Mercenaries (2014) is the kind of movie that is quite honest with people who watch it. It doesn't pretend to be more than what should be.

The plot is paper thin. Very basic, probably made by monkeys.

Character A gets kidnapped by bad guys. Character B recruits some criminals by offering them redemption. The girls go to war and there will be death and destruction.

Blood squibs, horrible CGI, laughable acting, Vivica Fox is fatty, Brigitte Nielsen is over the top, handguns have 50 bullets without even reloading, bad guys are retarded and dumb by missing shots when their enemies are only 3 feet away from them.

The last fight was so cheesy and probably it was meant to be that way. Fortunately, it's short ( 84 minutes ) and it's OK to watch if you have nothing better to do.

Low budget fun. Nothing new but still entertaining

[avriapocalypse · 5/10 · 8 January 2016]

Man, online sit at home critics are just dogging on this film. Guys, keep in mind it's a low budgeter. People in general don't understand all the work that goes into making a film not processed by Hollywood big wig studios. Sure there was some lackluster acting and a few playing it straight forward. I've been on set of some low budget films. I have to say this one was decent. I only got bored in the beginning during the typical intro of each character. That has been done over so many times. (Vin Diesel - XXX) none the less, when the action gets rolling, it's not so terrible. I noticed people trashing the fight sequences. I can't speak for any others but I thought Zoe Bell looked great pulling them off as a harsh judge of screen action who came from a martial arts background myself.

I have to say that Nicole Bilderback is underrated and underused in this film. She is an actual kick-boxer who never once gets to showcase any of her real skills. She actually stills every scene she is in though it seems the only curse word she knows is "bitch". Lol. Asylum has come a long way from the mock busters they were known for back in the day. I think this film was a good cheesy action ride. Give it a chance.

It's an Asylum Movie, best I've seen so far...

[djmrmusic · 5/10 · 27 March 2016]

look... Asylum movies fall into these categories.. 1) really bad or 2) so bad they're entertaining

but this one actually exceeds expectations and is worth a watch. is it great? no. but for a one time hour and a half time waster, sure, give it a go, I wasn't upset that I watched it... if your a picky person, give it a pass, if you just want some mindless entertainment, give it a go...

The acting is decent for an Asylum movie, the story is plausible (somewhat) and it's probably the best film ever produced by "Asylum" that I've seen, and I watch many of them! I'm twisted that way...

Stay away from this piece of garbage (it's from The Asylum)

[strangecases · 1/10 · 9 August 2014]

I could rant about things like the uninspired washed out actresses and bad FX but even with a good cast and better FX it would stay an horrible movie. Made and sold on being an "Expendables" with women but not even close and probably done for 1/25th of an Expendables movie's budget. It's a mock buster with absolutely no plot (the little there is, is taken from Escape from New York), no reason nor sense. The team actions and decisions have no logic. It's an action movie without action and it's it worst crime. It's not even funny-bad, there is long stretches of boring and useless scenes for padding between boring talks (TALKS !!!) where nothing happen. save 90 MN of your lives and please watch something else. It's bad even by The Asylum sub-standards.

This film is best used to fertilize your garden.

[Fiendrunner74 · 2/10 · 20 August 2014]

What a load of steaming manure. There is a basic quality to the plot, some of the acting is OK, the rest is horrific. You know you are in trouble when Kristina Loken puts in a performance significantly better than any one else. The fight choreography has some, er, nope, it ranges from average to poor, with most of the fault lying in the hands of the chimp that directed this and his ham fisted editor. I have seen worse premises for films, but whoever thought that taking the concept of The Expendables for women, adding the premise from Snake Pliskin, and handing over 1/10th of the budget really must have owed someone a soul to get this pile of tripe made. I love cheesy bad action films, it is a weakness for me, and I will forgive most things. But holy cow this film is just bad on too many levels and never makes fun of itself, it is trying to be good, and failing on every possible level. Bad directing of mostly bad actors, no finance, no continuity, not pacing, no rhythm, no originality (except new lows) nothing to redeem it. Watch Expendables and Escape from New York in stead. If you like the actresses watch Death Proof and Blood Rayne. Still not good movies, but a lot better than this.

A female version of The Expendables with roughly the same acting, dialog and plot.

[cosmo_tiger · 5/10 · 6 October 2014]

"We're not nice women. We're not going on some fun adventure. We're going to do some very bad things to some very bad people." Ulrika (Nielsen) has just taken the President's daughter captive and is demanding for the US to recognize her as a Head of State or she will kill the daughter. The government has only one option, they must send in a team of mercenaries to rescue her. A team of women is picked and the mayhem begins. There isn't really a whole lot to say about this movie. This is an Expendables with women. That really tells you all you need to know. The dialog is cheesy and the acting isn't that good. The action sequences are OK but generic...like I said another version of Expendables. The movie was entertaining enough and I did stay with it and wasn't too bored but that's about all I have to say. Overall, a female version of The Expendables with roughly the same acting, dialog and plot. I give this a C+.

Cheesy yes, but thats to best part!

[reputederror-1 · 5/10 · 9 January 2015]

I watched Mercenaries just because of Cynthia Rothrock and has always been my favorite martial artist, but her acting could improve. Okay improve A lot! That is the sole reason I gave this a 6. Although she really didn't have a good action role in this film, so let me change to a 5.I have always loved cheesy. Who doesn't like cheesy movies like Howard the Duck? No reason you do, you just do! There was a lot of terrible acting in this movie but who didn't think that when they saw it? My advice is watch is or don't, but don't go into it like you would a 'serious' movie. If you are bored, watch it. If not pick something else, or better yet. GO READ!

Prison inmates (whaddaya expect?) promised freedom for rescuing diplomat (the president's daughter?)

[baba-suha · 1/10 · 28 September 2014]

Got one word for it "Rubbish".

Everything is wrong. Settings completely wrong. None of the characters look remotely like Uzbeks. Kindly look up Uzbekistan and its natives and you'll find a whole lot of info.

The US with all its special forces units has to use prison inmates to do the job. What the hell was the president's daughter doing in Uzbekistan? A girl called Lexa suddenly pops up, speaks flawless English and proceeds to guide the rescuers to the place. How she knows all these with so many ruthless guards is beyond me. Two girls, both with bullet wounds, calmly chat away and sort of amble away to their freedom.

Stupid plot.

Don't waste your time; I've wasted mine.

Just as expendable

[unbrokenmetal · 7/10 · 15 January 2016]

When the president's daughter is kidnapped by a female warlord (Brigitte Nielsen) in a former Soviet republic, a CIA agent (Cynthia Rothrock) decides to send 4 dangerous female criminals to the rescue: Clay (Zoë Bell), Kat (Kristanna Loken), Raven (Vivica A. Fox) and Mei-Lin (Nicole Bilderback). I'm not sure if that is the standard procedure, but it has to work as time is running out...

This is an Asylum production, directed by Christopher Ray ('2 Headed Shark Attack'). From these credits, you don't expect too much, but the basic idea works: similar to Stallone's 'Expendables', they take a team of outcasts for a dangerous mission, but this time, it's female. The presence of Nielsen and Rothrock reminds you that a female action hero is nothing new, but a whole team of them guarantees some fun, even if the production value in general is very low - the rare case of a mock-buster that's actually adding something new.

Generic to the core and less than mediocre...

[paul_haakonsen · 3/10 · 8 August 2014]

"Mercenaries" is a fairly straight out of the 'how to make an action movie' textbook, except that the movie didn't really turn out to be anything extraordinary. The whole movie was well below average.

The story is about daughter of the president of the United States who has been kidnapped by a ruthless warlord in the Republic of Kazakhstan. The warlord is threatening the USA to make her ruler of her country and wipe out the other rivalling warlords. And the USA government brings in a group of imprisoned women to act as mercenaries, promising them full pardons if they rescue the presidents daughter.

Right, well fairly straight forward storyline. But it was so straight forward to the point of being ridiculously generic and seen in way too many movies before. And that was one of the major factors that worked against this movie.

This being a movie by The Asylum, I will say that they have veered quite far from what they usually make. That is a good thing, because this movie actually made some sense. Just a shame that it was weighed down by a well-below average storyline.

The acting in the movie was adequate. No one really stood out here, which ultimately led to a fairly mundane experience.

"Mercenaries" is the type of movie that you watch once, then forget about it, and never will pick up again for a second viewing. I would assume that the movie might have some appeal if you are a fan of any of the ladies on the cast list. But other than that, then there is nothing appealing or alluring about "Mercenaries".

If a cult icon wish came true...

[amesmonde · 12 August 2014]

A group of female prisoners are assembled to infiltrate a people trafficking prison for a daring rescue.

For novelty cult value you can't beat this offering, shortly after watching The Expendables I made a wish list for a female version, and to Asylums credit both 80s stars Brigitte Nielsen and Cynthia Rothrock appear, sadly Grace Jones is not included, but there could always be a sequel (with Nielsen's return).

Nielsen puts in an entertaining evil performance and Vivica A. Fox battles through. Okay so the characters don't have second names, yes the stunt men extras act like they just stepped out of the A-Team, granted the effects and sets lack some lustre but there's some solid action pieces mostly involving Loken or Zoe Bell. On top of that you have a few humorous one liners, violence and gun play. It's B action cult gold.

Yes it's a pity it doesn't have a big budget look but what it lacks in production values it makes up for it with it's fun ensemble cast, take it with a pinch of salt and you'll have a blast.

Good action chick flick!

[erikamerica4 · 10/10 · 4 January 2015]

The presidents daughter is kidnapped and 4 tough as nails women go after her kidnappers. Yes it isn't the best quality but it is just a fun movie about some kick-ass women. For a low-budget, straight-forward film it gets the job done. A movie with a lot of female characters that are all empowered. This was clearly not meant to be a complicated film, it is about bad ass women who aren't over-sexualized for the male viewers. I doubt critics would condemn it in the same way if it were a movie about men. I believe they would love its faults if the heroines were heroes instead. A fun and empowering movie for everyone with an open mind. A good movie to watch on a night in with friends. PS it's streaming on Netflix right now.

"An old school gun for an old school girl"

[hwg1957-102-265704 · 6/10 · 4 September 2020]

Four female mercenaries (all serving jail sentences) are tasked to rescue the US president's daughter captured in Kazakhstan. Complications ensue and one of them turns traitor but eventually the determined women complete the mission. It's not 'The Dirty Dozen' but I enjoyed it. With a more original script it would have been better but the four leads were fine not to mention Cynthia Rothrock who sets up the mission and Brigitte Nielsen as the entertainingly demented chief villain. Tim Abell is suitably sleazy as Grigori Babishkov but is overshadowed by the maidenly mercs kicking butts etc. That's entertainment.

A bigger budgeted sequel would be awesome but it will probably never happen now.

Inept Home Movie

[Areles · 1/10 · 24 September 2014]

Have to give THE ASYLUM credit. They go out of their way to make mediocre films. Here we have a standing Mexican village and Western town set, used as a Russian village. (populated by three people, two of whom are constantly crossing in front of the camera in the same costumes). Vivica A. Fox has a poker game with a group of henchmen, and they wager poker chips instead of cash. As Vivica wins the pot she is overjoyed, as if she won something other than a bag of red and blue plastic coins.

I feel so sorry for the ladies in this. Fight scenes are all filmed with a camera hung on the end of 'Slinky"!! Not the worse film I've seen, but probably the best buffed turd (as opposed to polished or gold platted) I've come across in ages.

Mediocre plot, awful performances, inept direction (how many times can you see the Antelope Valley ion the background of shots, I lost count) Don't waste your time! Not even in the so bad it's good category. This is the entertainment equivalent of watching someone build a 'Big Mac' at a McDonald's.

What next, guys? "Mercenaries VS. Sharknado"?

Complete Lunacy

[texawegian · 5/10 · 10 October 2014]

LOL ... i nominate this movie for the best worst movie of 2014. the acting is awful. the dialog is abysmal. the script is worse than you can possibly imagine. well, duh, it's asylum, right?

but i liked it lol. lots of good laughs, some hot chic-fu, and the chance to see Birgitte Nielsen in another epicfail performance. (you would think that after all these years that she would have learned some basic acting skills .. but nope.)

anyways, very fun movie if you're drunk and/or not expecting any type of quality at all. i found it quite entertaining. if you like a good brainless movie once in awhile, this one will not disappoint.

So bad

[dfairful · 1/10 · 19 February 2017]

One of the worst movies going. The acting is average and below, the story bizarre, the effects terrible. Parts are laughable - like when they open the back of a delivery van and see 2 "missiles" laying side by side with a lot of room all around them... When the camera comes in on them, the nose cones are visibly shaking and look like they were made of aluminum foil. They say they're 2 ICBMs with a 5000 mile range with nuclear warheads. Those warheads alone would be bigger than the missiles. Add to that, the "missiles" are to small to carry enough fuel to even get off the ground. The fight scenes are nearly comedic - one of the ladies fighting 4 - 5 guys that are armed, weapons in hand and far enough away that they could easily blow her away... But she wins. I give it one star because the part with the missiles made me laugh.

Female expendables, only slightly smarter

[siderite · 5/10 · 6 December 2014]

Too bad someone didn't want to spend more time on the script of this film. The whole idea is similar to The Expendables, where an ad-hoc team of dangerous females is sent to save the president's daughter from a female warlord... by a CIA female agent. Oh yeah, it is that kind of movie where everything is from a recipe and they changed salt with sugar and called it new.

Anyway, there was a lot of potential in the movie. Instead of going in hot, they had to charm their way in and by that I don't mean the usual woman ways from movies, because the warlord was a woman, too. So just from this little detail the plot was a little bit more interesting than the usual action flick. Also the actresses, even if they are far from acting prodigies, are kind of known and capable. Zoe Bell was Xena's stunt double, and then there are Vivica Fox, Brigitte Nielsen and Kristanna Loken for crying out loud. I was amazed that Mona was Cynthia Rothrock. I didn't recognize her and she has only one fighting scene when she kicks Vivica's behind.

Alas, all the potential was in vain. The script was ridiculous, the direction criminal and the extras I don't think they were even actors. I am pretty sure they shot the same guy to death at least two times. The budget must have been insignificant, but that is really no excuse.

I admit, I know little about the movie industry, but I cannot understand how the things that cost the most are the one that are done best, while the things that only require some interest, some personal effort, do not. Was it really more difficult to write some good lines, sketch a few good scenes, than to prepare and execute shooting scenes, explosions, flying and landing planes, etc?

hopeless

[SnoopyStyle · 2/10 · 19 February 2018]

The US President's daughter is kidnapped in Kazakhstan by Ulrika (Brigitte Nielsen) and her men. With rumored weakness for women, four are recruited from prison on a suicidal mission. Cassandra Clay (Zoë Bell), Kat Morgan (Kristanna Loken), and Raven (Vivica A. Fox) join explosive expert Mei-Lin Fong (Nicole Bilderback).

These are B-action actresses in an F-level action movie. It's a female Expendables without any budget, or filmmaking abilities. The writing is horrible. It's cheap. Kazakhstan looks like a Mexican village backlot. Even the action is lackluster. ICBMs are not that small. This is all pretty hopeless.

"Target Has Been Diverted!"...

[azathothpwiggins · 22 July 2021]

MERCENARIES is another ridiculous action / thriller full of machine guns, explosions, karate, one-liners, and impossible situations.

This time, it's up to a team of hardened women, including Zoe Bell, Vivica A. Fox, and Kristanna Loken to rescue the President's daughter from the clutches of international uber-criminal, Ulrika (Brigitte Nielsen).

Sort of a low-budget, all-female EXPENDABLES, it suffers from an exceptionally high cheeeze factor, and the action sequences are... underwhelming.

To be fair, the chemistry between the principals is believable, and it's obvious that Ms. Nielsen had a blast with her role! She gleefully devours every splinter of the scenery!

Not terrible, just make sure you're in the mood for silliness...

Unwittingly hilarious... but not in a good way...

[Boolean_Chants · 2/10 · 23 May 2017]

This movie is hilarious. But only because you can laugh at how bad it is. The plot could have been improved by allowing it to be work-shopped by high-school kids. The plot, however, is only beaten by the acting in the crappy department. All-round bad, but unintentionally funny. If you're looking for a movie in which you can pick out all the faults, plot discrepancies and inconsistencies, this may be the movie for you!

Surprisingly entertaining !!!

[destroyerwod · 7/10 · 11 January 2015]

This movie is call Mercenaries, but the version i have is really call Expendabelles 3.0. Basically this continue the tradition of THE ASYLUM of copying stuff if i can say, even tough the real Expendabelles is not even out(or will it ever be?) But truth is, this was actually pretty fun. Sure the scenario is really over the top cartoonish, and in no way believable, but i actually enjoyed the action, following those girls around and so on. Got to see it as somewhat of a comic book movie or something.

Bridgette Neilson do her job fine as the villain, Zoe Bell is pretty good as the main heroine. I knew this girl could be believable in those kind of roles. She is a former stunt woman and her acting is actually pretty good, surprisingly. Looking at her on screen make you believe she is indeed a tough chick. Kristanna Loken got this super sexy look but combine with a tough chick side as well, i loved her character. Actually i enjoyed pretty much all "main characters" in the movie.

My only grip is i was hoping for more Cynthia Rothrock, yeah well i got the movie because her name was in it, mostly, been a fan for years, and she do her job fine, but i wish her part would had more action even tough i knew she was not part of the main cast. Also at some point there is way too much slowmo while Zoe fight, which i would had like to see more in real time, more brutal if i can say.

But overall considering its a cheap low budget action movie, im pretty surprise at what they did, and never was i bored, i had fun, its cheese to the max, its pop corn sure, but its fun. Take it for what it is and you will have a good time.

Some may ask why a 7? Well because i don't rate on movie quality and budget, i rate on how much a good time i had, if a movie entertain me, and i had a good time watching it, its a 7. If its really awesome and i want to watch it multiple time, its a 9. I give 4 or below to only movies i was bored and i tough where bad, and no i don't gives below 4 unless i really hate the movie. So yeah, this got a 7 because i enjoyed watching it.

The only good thing about this movie

[milenmirev · 1/10 · 13 February 2015]

I really think there should be a "0 stars" vote for occasions like this... movie (since other people are calling it that). Eventually it deserved my 1 star by giving me the sense that everybody can make movies. Obviously you do not need a plot that follows human nature, or some logic, or any sense at all as long as the good guys win and the bad guys die. Acting is not necessary. You are not even required to care enough to watch and see your creation afterward (it's alive!). After I submit this review I am going to call some friends and in two or three days I believe we can create "Mercenaries 2". After all, my homemade clips of my kids, family and friends contain more action, comedy and drama than this m-m-m... sorry, cannot call it that twice.

It is exactly what it's supposed to be!

[Taylor-receipts · 8/10 · 7 March 2020]

Mercenaries is terrible, and I love it so much! It's supposed to be a cheap thrill, and it is. The graphics are amateurish - for 1970! The actresses on "the team" actually did a credible job given the scripts and budget. Oscar worthy? Nope. Cheap fun? Absolutely.

Funny and enjoyable for a low budget movie.

[minunimion · 6/10 · 12 March 2020]

Before criticizing, remember... this is a low budget movie... the actresses were good and if you read something about their backgrounds, you'll learn that some of them are very good martial artists and stuntmen... respect, thank you... this is just for those who were so proud and eager to give a low score... I'm sure that nobody of you would be able to do anything like that. For the others... this movie is not an Oscar movie, it's honest... not bad acting... nothing new... somehow funny if you're in the right mood. In my case I enjoyed seeing four superwomen kicking many men's asses and even few women's asses. Why superwomen? Because they are able to fight after being injured, shot and just one kick or a punch is enough to knock out men much bigger than them. Unrealistic? Of course... like shooting with AK47 from short distance without hitting anybody, or being alone, unarmed in front of three men heavily armed and kicking their asses with bare hands or changing quickly direction piloting a very heavy plane and hitting a jeep without any consequences before taking off like she were driving a car ... funny if you are able to accept that, unwatchable if you want to compare all of that and even more other situations to the reality... you'll be very pissed off then. In my opinion is worth to be watched, if you have some spare time. I would like to see those actresses in a high budget movie... I'm sure they would be very good. I apologize for my bad English.

The best way of watching this garbage

[beltran-604-235724 · 1/10 · 12 February 2015]

Definitely not in a movie theater. Paying money for rent is also a rip-off. Let's say you've downloaded it somehow or borrowed it from a friend or whatever.

The best you can do to watch this thing and not feel much regret after is by skipping. Most movie, DVD, blue-ray players these days have this function, so use it. Skip every 5 seconds until you see something you might like, get disappointed and continue skipping. Any level of masochism in your character also helps getting to the end of this torture.

I'd also recommend skipping the entire movie if wasn't for the cast. Some of the actresses deserve to be seen, I know, so you will get tempted. If you can't resist the urge use the method described above to avoid frustration.