Black Widow (2021)
David Harbour: Alexei
Photos
Quotes
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Alexei Shostakov : [to Natasha and Yelena] You both have killed so many people. Your ledgers must be dripping, just gushing red. I couldn't be more proud of you.
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Melina Vostokoff : Good boy, Alexei. Good boy.
Alexei Shostakov : You named a pig after me?
Melina Vostokoff : You don't see the resemblance?
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Natasha Romanoff : Here's what's going to happen.
Melina Vostokoff : Natasha, don't slouch!
Natasha Romanoff : I'm not slouching!
Melina Vostokoff : You're going to get a back hunch.
Alexei Shostakov : Listen to your mother.
Natasha Romanoff : Oh my God, this...
Alexei Shostakov : Up, up!
Natasha Romanoff : All right, enough! All of you!
Yelena Belova : I didn't say anything, that's not fair!
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Alexei Shostakov : Why the aggression, huh? Is it your time of the month?
Yelena Belova : I don't get my period, dipshit. I don't have a uterus.
Natasha Romanoff : Or ovaries.
Yelena Belova : That's what happens when the Red Room gives you an involuntarily hysterectomy. They kinda just go in and rip out all your reproductive organs. They just get right in there and chop them all away. So you can't have babies.
Alexei Shostakov : OK, OK, you don't have to get so clinical and nasty!
Yelena Belova : I was just going to talk about fallopian tubes...
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Alexei Shostakov : [squeezed into his Red Guardian uniform] It still fits!
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Alexei Shostakov : Come on, now. If we're just going to press buttons and hack computers...
Melina Vostokoff : Yes.
Alexei Shostakov : I mean, I don't know. There's nothing for me to do. I want to... I want to break something.
Melina Vostokoff : Oh, you do?
Alexei Shostakov : [grunts]
Melina Vostokoff : [footsteps, Antonia/Taskmaster approaching] Oh, there is something you can break.
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Alexei Shostakov : We're family. We fight with you!
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Alexei Shostakov : Do you know why it's gonna be all right? Because my girls are the toughest girls in the world. You're gonna take care of each other, okay? And everything, everything's gonna be fine.
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Alexei Shostakov : Never family, huh? In my heart, I am simple man. And I think that for a couple deep undercover Russian agents I think we did pretty great as parents, huh?
Melina Vostokoff : Yes, we had our orders, and we played our roles to perfection.
Natasha Romanoff : Who cares? That wasn't real.
Yelena Belova : What?
Natasha Romanoff : That wasn't real. Who cares?
Yelena Belova : Don't say that. Please don't say that. It was real. It was real to me. You are my mother. You were my real mother. The closest thing I ever had to one. The best part of my life was fake. And none of you told me.
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Alexei Shostakov : Melina, if this is the last time that we...
[reaching left arm to empty space]
Alexei Shostakov : Ah, damn it.
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Alexei Shostakov : You haven't aged a day, huh? You're just as beautiful and as supple as the day they staged our marriage.
Melina Vostokoff : You got fat. But still good.
Alexei Shostakov : I just got out of prison. I, uh... I have a lot of energy.
Melina Vostokoff : Oh!
Natasha Romanoff : Please don't do that.
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Alexei Shostakov : So, there I am ice fishing with my father. It's very cold day in this little ice shed. Cold even for Russia, you know? Keep the vodka by the fire, my father would say to me.
Yelena Belova : Please stop talking.
Alexei Shostakov : Please wait. Please wait.
Yelena Belova : Please, no. Please, I don't want to talk.
Alexei Shostakov : Please. Please. There is a reason why I'm telling you this, okay? Trust me. I am reaching for fish. Oh! I lose balance. Ah! Splash! My hands go in the river. In this weather, frostbite sets in quick. My father, he go toilet on my hands.
Yelena Belova : Oh, my God.
Alexei Shostakov : Urine is 35 degrees Celsius, staves off the frostbite.
Yelena Belova : How is this relevant?
Alexei Shostakov : You know, fathers.
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Alexei Shostakov : You should've brought the Avengers' superjet.
Yelena Belova : I swear, if I hear one more word from him, I will kick him in the face.
Natasha Romanoff : He's the worst.
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Alexei Shostakov : Is it that time of the month?
