Lick My Pussy Dry

Myself and my Father aren't usually huge fans of the more artsy films however we decided to maybe broaden our horizons and give this a fair chance.

We're dealing with quite the artsy film as is suggested in the title seeing as how it's purpously ironic and contradictive as surely if you licked something it was make it more wet in texture? So we fire up the film and the first thing that I note is the lack of a pretentious French person in a turtle neck which to my knowledge all artsy films have. Either way it starts off with some really shoddy acting as if they are making up the dialogue on the set, I couldn't relate to Asa Akira (the main character) as while the dialogue was great the performance was as stiff as my Father at one of his late night couple gatherings.

It seemed like some very intense artistic merit and sensibilities were involved in this film which is often hinted to through dialogue for example one of the actresses says "I want to suck your jugs" which was obviously hinting at the jug seen in the distant backdrop, the significance of this jug? I have no idea still, as with all art films it's filled with hidden narratives.

I spoke with my Father after the film and decided that due to the lack of ANY Male actors at all it's symbolising a future civilization where Males are no longer around and women live happily together enjoying being the last of civilization itself as no one left on Earth is able to breed, fix anything or drive.

Personally I feel like this film didn't quite live up to my expectations but I am usually used to watching films with easier to follow story lines, I can't help but comment on the fact that during random intervals the females get quite sexual which can take away from the story line, though my Father didn't seem to mind too much.

One of the interesting things to note is that with no guys around the girls had to find very inventive ways to please each other, for example one of them was using a vibrating back massager that was the same as the copious ones that my Sister has hidden under her mattress to stimulate the male Genitalia, though my penis has only ever vibrated when going over speed bumps or that one time I went to Alton Towers and soiled myself on the Oblivion ride.

To sum it up: Don't go into this expecting to fully understand what is going on upon a first viewing and what ever you do, DO NOT expect there to be top notch acting... The script is very well written and hints to the subtle artsy hidden narratives to help you along the way, but it feels like it just drags on too much. I will give bonus points to the women though who managed to survive in a world without men it amazed me that in a world with no one to open doors for them or do the DIY they manage to survive more than the 2 hour run time of this Film.

My rating: 3/10 - Acting isn't very good and I still don't fully understand all of the hidden narratives or the significance of that mystical jug.

My Dads rating: 3/10 - I'm not very much into the artsy style of this film and my Son kept on eating Doritos which was extremely distracting as they were very crunchy. I still don't know what I hate more my Son, my ex-wife or my life in general... I wish he'd stop inviting me over to watch porn with him.

My rebut: If my Father wasn't this hostile and negative then maybe my Mum wouldn't have left him. Yeah, I went there.