Piranha Sharks (2017) User Reviews

More John Wells, shirtless... PLEASE!

[AndyVanScoyoc · 3/10 · 20 July 2019]

As that was the ONLY decent 6 seconds of the movie.

The rest of it is filled with sleezeball characters (Kevin Sorbo was a particularly nice touch on the sleeze meter) vapid, scantily clad skanks and sheer stupidity.

Fun but dumb and not worth watching, except for the credits, which are hilarious.

Decent For Its Type

[Michael_Elliott · 6 October 2016]

Piranha Sharks (2014)

** (out of 4)

A bunch of lab people create sharks that are the size of piranhas but contain just as much danger. Soon these are being sold as "hot Christmas items" but before long they begin eating people.

PIRANHA SHARK is pretty much what you'd expect out of a made-for-TV movie called PIRANHA SHARK. We've basically got a rather silly idea and all of the silly nature plays out in front of your eyes for the 80-minute running time. If you're already familiar with these types of movies then you know what to expect and for the most part this one here is decent. There are certainly much worse out there while this doesn't quite reach the levels of something like SHARKNADO.

I thought the actual highlight of the picture where the sharks because they were rather fun and the attack scenes were decent especially one lady who is taking a bath when the creatures show up. While this is the highlight of the film there's no doubt that the disappointment comes from the fact that there aren't enough of these scenes. There is way too much time with characters just rambling dialogue and it's too bad we didn't get more action.

The performances are pretty good for the most part with Kevin Sorbo getting the richer role as the Mayor who must please his voters or at least appear to. I thought Sorbo was rather fun in a role that joked on his looks to women and his way of being able to get away with anything.

PIRANHA SHARKS isn't a masterpiece, that's for certain but at the same time it's a decent "C" movie that has some mild entertainment.

It is not only the fish that stinks here...

[paul_haakonsen · 1/10 · 16 June 2016]

I purchased this movie from Amazon, well expecting it to be a low budget creature feature, although I had hoped that it would be one of those fun ones; you know, the ones that are so bad that they are actually fun to watch. But that was not the case with "Piranha Sharks".

First of all, the DVD was titled "Jurassic Piranha". Wait, what? Seriously? How could the movie end up with a title so deviant from its original title, unless it being an attempt to cash in on something else. Especially since there was nothing even remotely prehistoric about the creatures in the movie. They were man-made and tinkered with in a Laboratory.

Right, well moving on. The story is about a company which have the idea of cross-breeding sharks and piranha, and selling them as pets to families. The creatures, of course, grow quickly, have an endless appetite and start to mutate. Soon the entire city of Manhattan is in dire peril at the ferocity of these vicious toothy fishy killers. And it is up to a small group of local exterminators to save the entire city of Manhattan from extermination, be it from the piranha sharks or from the US government who wants to drop nuclear bombs to contain the piranha sharks.

Indeed. Yeah, that was the scope of the ludicrous storyline. Simple? Yes. Stupid? Yes. Entertaining? No.

The CGI effects in "Piranha Sharks" is among the top three of bad special effects that I have ever witnessed in a movie. It was so bad that it went beyond bad. Trust me.

And the acting in the movie was as to be expected from a movie of this genre and type. But I had never expected an actor like Kevin Sorbo to appear in a movie such as this.

I still managed to sit through the entire movie, despite it being so bad. Why? Well, I was hoping that it would get better, or at least turn into something so bad that it would be funny. But no, it just kept on being bad in a bad way. Do yourself a favor and stay well clear of "Piranha Sharks".

I am rating "Piranha Sharks" a mere one out of ten stars.

Not worth biting into

[TheLittleSongbird · 1/10 · 2 July 2018]

First things first, will admit to not expecting much. The premise sounded ridiculous and it looked pretty bad. Even when trying to find some good in them, although there are good ones ('Jaws' being the king of them all) and some guilty pleasure ones shark films generally have not scored highly with me even when trying to take them for what they are.

Before anybody gets defensive, am well aware that films like 'Piranha Sharks' are not ones to be taken seriously. Have seen my fair share of low-budget shark films, and any other kind of low-budget creature film, and will admit to finding some guilty fun in some of them (i.e. the first two 'Sharknado' films). There are marginally worse shark films than 'Piranha Sharks' certainly. Sadly 'Piranha Sharks' is just too amateurish to accept as a guilty pleasure, where nearly everything is just poor quality that it's insulting and there is nowhere near enough fun, intentional or unintentional, moments.

Was not expecting anything intelligent here, am well versed now to know that it is not that kind of film, but 'Piranha Sharks' does feel like it was made by somebody who didn't know how to give a film brains, so much so that it'll make the viewer feel dumb and that is not a nice sensation to feel watching a film.

'Piranha Sharks' does have a couple of small redeeming quality. The opening scene was actually pretty entertaining, something that put the viewer in the mood for some very dumb but guilty pleasure fun. Unfortunately, it rapidly fell downhill, where ridiculousness and cheapness amongst other things were taken to extremes.

Kevin Sorbo also tries his best to inject some energy into his role.

Visually, 'Piranha Sharks' is yet another low-budget shark attack film that looks cheap and like it was made with no budget, heart or enthusiasm. Any nice scenery that the movie has is difficult to appreciate when the movie is shot in such a drab way and when it's edited so amateurishly that bacon-slicer-like editing looks more refined. Worst of all in this regard are the effects, as it was made on low-budget it would have been forgiven a little if it was not great, but when the effects for the shark look as if no effort was given in making them without looking so goofy and unfinished-looking that is hard to ignore.

The opening scene apart, so the shark's lack of presence or personality, it's not menacing, it's not scary and it's not fun, it's not even strong enough to bring any unintentional humour or goofiness, that's how bland it is. The music is very generic and adds very little, it's not always appropriate either and quite a lot of it is actually pretty annoying.

Writing ranges between incredibly bad to appalling. Any comedy is incredibly forced and is so cheesy it is enough to make the eyes roll in disbelief, while the more serious moments are very awkwardly written and as trite as anybody can possibly go. Regarding the shark attacks, some are rushed, others are badly drawn out. They lack any kind of suspense and the over-silliness to the point of intelligence-insulting stupidity, terrible shark effects, bad editing and even more gratuitous gore further cheapen them.

Describing the story as weak is being too insulting to the word weak, it is a very lethargically paced and thin as ice story with lots of padding that is either badly written or serves no point at all to the movie, other than attempts at novelty value, which falls flat on its face because it all feels so tired. It is not fun, it is not scary and it is not thrilling or suspenseful, it's just nothing but tired stupidity.

As for the characters, that they're tired cliches isn't so much a problem, the problem is that they are either obnoxious with them constantly doing stupid things, so bland that it makes zombies seem more animated or both. Some of them are superfluous to the story or come and go out of nowhere constantly. The direction is as flat as a pancake, and the acting is amateur hour awful, apart from Kevin Sorbo trying his best.

Overall, a mess. 1/10 Bethany Cox

Terrible

[thiagobarsou · 1/10 · 16 March 2019]

This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Bad acting, bad talks, bad scenes and bad graphics. The piranha sharks are like a joke and the characters are kinda dumbs. Don't wast your time watching this movie.

Watchable but somewhat underwhelming killer shark effort

[kannibalcorpsegrinder · 5/10 · 13 August 2020]

Launching a new product on the market, the creators of a new holiday creation involving genetically mutated great white sharks to be the size of piranhas to use as pets find the fish have gotten free and ravaging the city, forcing them to turn to a pair of inept exterminators to stop them.

This was a pretty underwhelming if still slightly watchable effort. One of the only positive aspects here is the cheesy nature of how the sharks are brought about and created. Managing to focus on introducing the creatures as a Christmas present for people during the holidays and realizing too late that they're still vicious killing machines shows a rather intriguing set up here, and allows for quite a few decent attacks as a result. The swarming of the dancer friend in the bathtub offers a great attack, while the massive attack at the strip club on the various patrons has quite a lot to like.with all the attacks and gore. With the finale having some nice bits of suspense with the race to stop them against the deadline coming alongside the ravenous shark attacks as well as the fine practical effects for the creatures, these are what the film manages to get right. There were a lot of issues to be had with this one. One of the biggest problems is the fact that hardly anything happens here for so long that it's just not that interesting or enjoyable. This one manages so few attacks with the sharks that it's entirely possible to forget that's what the film is about as the series of setups about the company trying to find the gift for the holiday season, the struggles of the exterminator company to stay afloat and his life problems that all manage to take center stage instead of the sharks. It takes so long before they become a focal point that it's nearly half-over before they're a factor in the film and take the lead in the film. The other issue here is that the film, for as short as it is, manages to rush itself through several sections when it wasn't necessary. The creatures go immediately onto the market and seem to overtake the city without any kind of special notice or mention, as that whole section is completely glossed over. The need to show the ineptitude of the kidnapping goes nowhere when the entire thing is forgotten about almost immediately afterward to team up against the creatures while the finale here is the biggest culprit since there are whole swathes of the story this jumps past that show how the fish are stopped and everyone is alerted about being saved. It serves a needed function but stands out to hold this down.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Language and Graphic Violence.

No terror because no fish until more than half the movie is over!

[tailsofthewind · 1/10 · 29 November 2019]

You have a great premise about bioengineered sharks the size of goldfish, and you see tanks of fish, briefly, or a fish being cut-up, but the first "terrifying" attack after they are released into the city water system (New York City's if I remember correctly), is the so-so death scene of a "sexy woman" in what I can safely call a gross bathtub. If a realtor showed me that bathroom (or the house attached to it), I'd have to fire her.

Everything up to that scene is dialogue. I can just imagine the script as being a hundred pages of dialogue, a page of special effects, then another hundred pages of EYE ROLLING DIALOGUE!!!

Skip this movie. (And I love B movies!)

The best parody of low budget shark movies.

[doctorsmoothlove · 10/10 · 25 July 2019]

"Piranha Sharks" is an effective parody of the numerous shark films that have been released in the last few years. So how does one parody "Sharknado" and its progeny? You take the mimic of better movies offered in them to the next level: unburden the experience from any requirement of plot, twist around the tone regularly and make the plot driving characters irrelevant.

The film begins ominously where business people are creating bioweapons and finding no buyers. Some nameless suits offer the head scientist the chance to sell the fish as pets. The suits have no other purpose in this plot. Of course, the Piranha Sharks become an instant hit. In one of many absurd moments, a man is interviewed proclaiming his devotion to the creatures. The main characters, a team of exterminators, also buy some as pets.

The mayor of this place played as a funnyman jerk by Kevin Sorbo is intentionally without his pants when the fish escape. He can't even be bothered to dress most of the time! He also doesn't seem to care about the impending death sentences. No one seems to care about their own lives. Unlike the tone of so many Asylum films, this one is very relaxed at the end of the world. Most of the actors play very casually. Sorbo gives one of the few exaggerated performances in a cast of nonchalant everymen. One of the best moments involves a governmental conspiracy person kidnapping the leading scientist who seems more inconvenienced than anything else. The film has the feel of a home movie project at times with absurdist segments added as if one cast member thought they would be funny. Piranha Sharks treats the titular creatures as more of an afterthought than anything else.

The film's parody extends to the manner in which is is directed. The actors are shown from above and below adding to the cinematic quality. The soundtrack has excessive base at the wrong moments and isn't intended to build intensity. The script doesn't focus on telling a consistently moving story. Many of the commercial tv films of this era are shot at a consistent line of sight third person perspective with music added for tone building only when appropriate. Their humor is scripted and based upon the viewer's knowledge of traditional storytelling. Piranha Sharks breaks down all these conventions to become an anti shark movie. The answer we need to so many repetitive formulaic bores. Even the title is a deconstruction: Piranha Sharks. Piranha was originally a jokey version of Jaws. Now both are merged into one movie that plays it straight absurdly. A good decision based on the limited budget and general horribleness of the CGI and blood effects. Why are all flying killer fish movies so good?

Surprisingly alright!

[vengeance20 · 6/10 · 29 January 2016]

Got this in a supermarket under the name 'Jurassic Piranha' & knew it was going to be one of those SyFy films with cheap nasty effects & loads of clichés & bad script etc.

I wasn't surprised as it had cheap CGI effects, over used clichés & a very short run time of 73 minutes. But weirdly enough I liked it. Somehow the story-line was a bit far fetched, I mean come on, they were going to nuke the entire city over Piranhas? And what's more we saw no other attacks aside from the people involved in the film? And alcohol killing them a weakness? It was all very stupid indeed & the film did feel rushed & very WOAH if you know what I mean! But you get what you paid for! After all, it did cost me only £3 in ASDA!

But still it was a OK film with sh!t loads of flaws but somehow washed with me enough. It's fantasy mixed with horror & was alright, but not as good as Sharktopus or Lake Placid 2, that film especially showed it's form a cheap CGI at it's biggest form, but these films you expect them to be sh!t, with crappy effects, bad story-line a dumb way to kill off the monster at the end some nut head scientist & babes & muscle men etc. Along with bad effects & far fetched story-lines it's what you get & some are better than others being honest!

Overall, this film was bearable & watchable for a quick flick! 6/10

Piranha Sharks and humans. Hilarity ensues.

[RuthlessGoat · 10/10 · 3 September 2014]

I'm not going to enter a long review here. I will have a complete review at Ruthless Reviews, check us out. Anyway, about the movie... I thought that it was a pretty outstanding effort for what it was. Let's be realistic, these guys are going to lose money on this film, and I hate that. It was a great effort and a study in the concept of not letting your reach exceed your grasp. The acting was amazingly competent and hilarious. The editing and cuts were surprisingly crisp. I liked it, I really did.

I appreciate the "reach out" from the makers of the film. We were both appalled by the lasted Sharknado pile of **** from Asylum. I just wish that this film could have more exposure, but alas, it will die a unnoticed death.

Cheesy, corny, silly, funny, and -- awesome?

[Freshslatepictures · 7/10 · 29 August 2014]

Can it be? Can it really be that a movie called 'Piranha Sharks' is ANYTHING but 'So bad, I can't look away'?

Yes, it can. It really can be more than that. In fact, I'd say it can actually be quite good.

Everything in the movie works to accentuate the strongest points of the film. The comedy, acting, and script. These things are on point, and if you're looking to be entertained, you want to give this one a watch. Everything else that you might 'assume' would be 'bad' -- is simply there to enhance these key attributes of the overall film.

The entire point, from beginning to end, is to have a FUN movie (so, if you're not into fun, shut the movie off and go back to your Sundance collection) -- but to have a fun movie, that also tells a story and has deep moments of character development, and interaction? You have to appreciate it for what it is. If you want to have some fun, and enjoy a script, and acting far superior to some of these other 'Sharktonadmech'- whatever movies out these days -- 'Piranha Sharks' is for you!

Sea Monkies on Steroids

[nogodnomasters · 10/10 · 3 September 2017]

Nano sharks originally planned for military use are being marketed for the general public and have become a craze. Once flushed into the NYC system they become a problem. The film consists of various subplots with the mayor (Kevin Sorbo) playing a parody of the elected officials. Three exterminators of very interesting character becomes the city's "ghost busters" as they have figured out how to kill them.

This is for fans of "Sharknado" style films. It has silliness and cameos of Jose Canseco and his wife/girlfriend ...before the break up. There is a bevy of pretty women and scenes inside an adult entertainment establishment, but no nudity. The film has PG-13 sex talk and scenes but nothing graphic. A woman has Tourette syndrome, but barks instead of swears.

"Piranha Sharks" and "Jurassic Piranha" are the same film. Neither title is technically correct, I guess because "Nano-lab Sharks" didn't market.

A fun cult film.

Just when You thought it was Safe to go in the Tub, Jessica Sonneborn Proves You Wrong !!!

[timodo · 10/10 · 16 July 2017]

A Wonderful Comic/Monster WaterFest !!! Jessica Sonneborn is Spectacular Portraying a distraught Stripper; & Ashe Parker UnderGoes a Stunning Transformation into a Gloriously Beautiful Woman ! Kristina Page & Noel Thurman, in a Dual Role, Also put in Great Performances ! It's No Wonder that Kevin Sorbo has such a Hard Time keeping his pants on amidst these Lovely Ladies & a Bevy of Other Beauties !!! Ramona Mallory & Collin Galyean Do a Fabulous Job leading the Cast in this Action Adventure; & Al Snow shows Us a Slightly Different Side to his usual Persona ! It's Great Fun for Landlubbers & Seafarers Alike !!!