Rick and Morty (TV Series)

Rixty Minutes (2014)

Justin Roiland: Rick Sanchez, Morty Smith, Fake Door Salesman, Tophat Jones, Ants in My Eyes Johnson, Glenn, Gazorpazorpfield, Baby Legs, Two Brother Movie Announcer

Photos 

Quotes 

• Morty : That, out there, that's my grave.

  Summer : Wait, what?

  Morty : On one of our adventures, Rick and I basically destroyed the whole world, so we bailed on that reality and we came to this one, because in this one, the world wasn't destroyed and in this one, we were dead. So we came here, a- a- and we buried ourselves and we took their place. And every morning, Summer, I eat breakfast twenty yards away from my own rotting corpse.

  Summer : So you're not my brother?

  Morty : I'm better than your brother. I'm a version of your brother you can trust when he says "Don't run." Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV.

• Don Pardo : It's "Saturday Night Live"! Starring a piece of toast, two guys with handlebar mustaches, a man painted silver who makes robot noises, Garmanarar, three s- eh- bl- um- uh- uh- uh- I'll get back to that one, a hole in the wall where the men can see it all, and returning for his twenty-fifth consecutive year, Bobby Moynihan!

  Rick : Interesting fun fact: uh, Moynihan and Piece of Toast hate each other. Apparently they've got some real creative differences.

• Rick : [after watching a new TV series]  Pretty cool, huh Morty?

  [realizes that Morty is gone and Jerry is sitting next to him] 

  Rick : Oh...

  Jerry : I thought it was cool...

  Rick : I don't give a fuck what you think, Jerry!

• Gazorpazorpfield : [yawns]  I hate Mumunmununsdays... and I really could go for some enchiladas.

  [Title card: "Gazorpazorpfield: Gimmie My Darn Enchiladas!] 

  Morty : Hey, Rick, that's pretty cool. It's just like Garfield, only instead, it's Gazorpazorpfield.

  Rick : Hey, isn't Gazorpazorp where- where, uh, where those sex robots came from, remember, that whole thing?

  Morty : Yeah. Hey, that's pretty, pretty... that's true, that's right.

  Rick : Yeah. Let's watch some more Gazorpazorpfield.

  Gazorpazorpfield : Hey, Jon. It's me, Gazorpazorpfield. Boy, fuck you, Jon, you fuckin' dumb, stupid idiot.

  Jon Arbuckle : Come on, Gazorpazorpfield, go easy on me, huh?

  Gazorpazorpfield : You dumb, stupid, weak, pathetic, white, white... uh, uh... guilt, white guilt, milquetoast piece of human garbage.

  Jon Arbuckle : Geez, Gazorpazorpfield, that's... you know, y-you're pretty mean to me, but that takes the cake.

  Gazorpazorpfield : I don't give a fuck. I'm Gazorpazorp-fucking-field, bitch.

  [Gazorpazorpfield kicks Jon's coffee mug] 

  Gazorpazorpfield : Now give me my fucking enchiladas!

• Rick : Hey, do we have any wafer cookies?

  [grabs cookie box, eats cookie and starts walking away] 

  Rick : Mm!

  [stops and looks back at Jerry, Summer, and Beth] 

  Rick : Oh, boy. Looks like you guys have been checking out alternate lives and realizing you don't have it as good, huh? That's too bad. You know, me and Morty are having a blast. We just discovered a show called "Ball Fondlers". I mean, I don't want to rub it in or anything, but you guys clearly backed the wrong conceptual horse.