- [first lines]
- Oliver: Check out all this cool stuff from the lost and found. Some of this stuff has been in here for decades, including that sandwich.
- [Kaz spits out sandwich meat]
- Oliver: It's like digging through the history of Mighty Med.
- Kaz: Boring. I don't care about the past.
- Oliver: Which explains why you failed our history test.
- Kaz: I failed because I followed a kid who looked like you into the wrong classroom, but I did learn the word for umbrella in French.
- Oliver: What is it?
- Kaz: I don't know. It was yesterday. I told you, I don't care about the past.
- Oliver: Oh, look! Optimo's dagger of truth. The shawl of invisibility. This thing.
- Dr. Horace Diaz: My goodness! A wormhole transporter. I haven't seen one of these in years.
- Oliver: A wormhole transporter?
- Dr. Horace Diaz: In the 1950s, superheroes used these to reverse time by opening wormholes in space, but they were banned because every so often, a hero would get lost in time or explode into a million tiny pieces. I usually love confetti, but that... not so festive.
- Kaz: Told you old things are lame.
- Oliver: How could you think that is lame?
- Kaz: I was talking about Horace. Yeah, that device looks lame too. Bet it can't even take pictures.
- [he puts it under his chin, and a wormhole makes Captain Atomic appear]
- Captain Atomic: Jeepers, where am I?
- Kaz: Who is that, and where did he come from?
- Oliver: That's Captain Atomic.
- Dr. Horace Diaz: I'd say he came from 1953.
- Kaz: 1953? That was, like, 100 years ago.
- Oliver: Which explains why you also failed our math test.
- [theme song starts]
- Kaz: [theme song ends] Who's Captain Atomic?
- Oliver: You've never heard of Captain Atomic? My grandpa has all of his comicbooks. He also has huge earlobes.
- [Horace and Kaz wince]
- Oliver: What? We're talking about my grandpa.
- Dr. Horace Diaz: Captain Atomic was wounded in World War II by a radioactive bullet which should have penetrated his heart, but it was stopped by the lucky yo-yo given to him by his best gal.
- Oliver: The bullet turned him radioactive and the army gave him an experimental battery that keeps him alive. He and his yo-yo are atomically powered.
- Kaz: So are my farts.
- [Oliver does a stink eye]
- Kaz: No, they are. Ask my brothers.
- Captain Atomic: Where am I? Five minutes ago I entered a wormhole to stop Professor Slime from destroying the planet Malmarn.
- Dr. Horace Diaz: Unfortunately, you became trapped in that wormhole for decades. Oh, and by the way, Malmarn is now called Slimemarn.
- Captain Atomic: Wait. Horace Diaz, is that you?
- Oliver: You knew him in the '50s? How old are you?
- Dr. Horace Diaz: A gentleman never asks. A lady never tells. And I'm 3,006... in May.
- Captain Atomic: This place looks so different... and who are all these broads dressed as doctors?
- Kaz: Those are doctors.
- Captain Atomic: [laughs] Girl doctors? That's the craziest thing I ever heard. Right, lizard doctor?
- [Lizard Man grunts approvingly]
- Dr. Horace Diaz: Boys, we need to open another wormhole to get Captain Atomic back to his own time.
- [he pushes the transporter's button, but it shorts out]
- Dr. Horace Diaz: Huh. This wormhole transporter needs to be repaired. I'll go work on it. Don't tell him how much gasoline costs now. It'll kill him.
- [Gus approaches Skylar and Stephanie in the school hallway]
- Gus: So, how are the two loveliest ladies in school who don't pretend they're mannequins when I talk to them?
- [Stephanie freezes]
- Stephanie: Stand still. Its vision is based on movement.
- Gus: I'm about to make your day. I've decided to shoot a movie, and I want you both to be in it.
- [Stephanie unfreezes]
- Skylar Storm: Cool! What's it about?
- Gus: I was hoping you might have some ideas. I'm not very creative, which is why I'm going into the movie business.
- Stephanie: Ooh, we should do a movie about my face. I would, like, totally go see that.
- Skylar Storm: Wait! I have a not-insane idea. We should make a movie that features a strong female lead character, someone like, I don't know, Skylar Storm.
- Gus: What? No one likes Skylar Storm anymore since her last comicbook where she lost all of her powers to the Annihilator. He wasn't even that tough.
- Skylar Storm: [pins Gus to lockers] Oh, yeah? I'd like to see you battle him, punk!
- [releases him]
- Skylar Storm: Now there's never been a Skylar Storm movie and this will prove that she's still cool and still important.
- Stephanie: My little brother likes her comics.
- Skylar Storm: See?
- Stephanie: My little brother also likes to dress up our cat as "Kitty Perry."
- Gus: Fine, we'll make a Skylar Storm movie, and tell your little brother he's doing the costumes.