James Patrick Stuart acreditado por interpretar...
Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott
- Jessie Prescott: [running up to Emma and sees her with Caleb] Emma, what are you doing with Darla's brother?
- Emma Ross: [gazing into his eyes] Watching his eyes sparkle in the sunlight! See, it's happening right now. And now. And now!
- Darla Shannon: [approaching Caleb and Emma] Caleb! Stay away from them! You don't wanna be seen with these weaklings!
- Jessie Prescott: [scoffs] Who're you calling "weak"? You should see this one tear through the mall on Black Friday!
- [Darla stares at Jessie, confused]
- Emma Ross: [holding up her nails] I sharpen my nails with diamonds the night before.
- Caleb Shannon: [coming over to Emma] I love a girl who fights for what she wants!
- Emma Ross: [linking arms with Caleb] I'd shop for *you* in the hunks department!
- Jessie Prescott, Darla Shannon: [in unison, to Emma and Caleb] KNOCK IT OFF!
- Emma Ross, Caleb Shannon: [in unison] WHY?
- Darla Shannon: Because the Prescott's and the Shannon's are sworn enemies.
- Emma Ross: But I'm not a Prescott *or* a Shannon!
- Jessie Prescott: Oh, there's a babysitting clause in the feud; it's... it's complicated; but trust me, you're covered!
- Emma Ross: But I really like Caleb!
- Darla Shannon: Well, tough! You can't go against the feud! Huh, *which* has gone back for years all the way to the 20th century!
- Caleb Shannon: I don't know why our families are fighting!
- Darla Shannon: It all started when our grand pappy Shannon loaned their grand pappy Prescott a corn picker; and he returned it broken!
- Jessie Prescott: It was already broken! Your grand pappy lied to get a new corn picker!
- [Darla chuckles softly and tries to shake it off]
- Jessie Prescott: That's why they called him "Shifty Shannon"!
- Caleb Shannon: But that's all ancient history!
- Emma Ross: No one even *remembers* the 20th century!
- Darla Shannon: Well, I *do* remember when Jessie borrowed and broke my Queasy Bake Oven!
- Jessie Prescott: It was already broken!
- Darla Shannon: Typical Prescott!
- Emma Ross: Well, Caleb and I don't care about you're shifty grand pappies and your queasy corn pickers!
- Jessie Prescott: [scoffs] Then *you* are no Prescott!
- Emma Ross: Correct! Despite whatever paperwork you have to the contrary!
- Jessie Prescott: [sees Mrs Kipling approach the dog, Paton, then he whips her tail at Paton] See? Even Mrs. Kipling's tiny *lizard brain* understands the feud!
- [Mrs Kipling hits Jessie with her tail]
- Jessie Prescott: Sorry!
- Darla Shannon: [to Caleb] Caleb, stay away from Emma, OK?
- [then turns to Jessie and says]
- Darla Shannon: [then turns to Jessie and says] Like all us cool kids stayed away from Jessie in high school, heh!
- [pulling Caleb by the arm]
- Darla Shannon: Come on!
- [Caleb walks away from Emma, being dragged by Darla]
- Jessie Prescott: [calling out after Darla] Yeah, like I wanted to hang out with you anyway! In the *jerk lounge*, cause you're a JERK!
- Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott: [appearing behind Jessie and heard what she said] JESSIE! I can't believe you said that!
- Jessie Prescott: Yeah, I know. I should've gone with "loser lounge".
- Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott: I mean, I can't believe you just insulted her!
- Emma Ross: I can't believe you and Darla are ruining my life!
- [running off]
- Jessie Prescott: OK, she didn't break it down, but it's like 95% Darla.
- Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott: I specifically told you to get along with Darla, and once again, you can't follow a simple order!
- Jessie Prescott: You're my *dad*, not my drill sergeant! You can't order me around anymore! I'm an adult!
- Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott: Oh really? Cause you're sure acting like a child!
- Jessie Prescott: Nuh-uh! She started it!
- Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott: I rest my case! You know I was really hoping we weren't gonna argue this weekend, but instead we were right back where we left off. This visit's turning out to be very disappointing.
- [Jessie's dad walks off, upset]
- Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott: [Jessie's dad has caught out Jessie and the kids; after seeing Luke, Zuri and Ravi stick goo onto Darla and sticking her to the wall] JESSIE!
- Col. Beverly Shannon: [seeing Darla stuck to the wall] Oh, my stars and stripes! Dar-Dar, is that you?
- Darla Shannon: [stuck to the wall in goo] Yes, Mummy! Look what they did to me!
- Col. Beverly Shannon: Oh, dear! You look like one of those hideous aliens from Area 51!
- [Jessie, the kids, Darla and Jessie's dad look at her weirdly, with a brief pause]
- Col. Beverly Shannon: Which completely does not exist.
- [gives them a threatening stare and points at them]
- Col. Beverly Shannon: And if any of you dare to mention this conversation, there will be a probing in your future!
- [the kids look at each other]
- Jessie Prescott: [Jessie looks at her dad, worried] Dad, I know what you're thinking; but, any time there's trouble,
- [points at Darla]
- Jessie Prescott: Darla is the one who starts it!
- Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott: [looks at the kids, in the B.A.T; and Darla stuck to the wall] So did she start this?
- Jessie Prescott: [looks at the kids and Darla awkwardly] OK, maybe this time is a bad example.
- Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott: I've asked you to try and get along with Darla, but instead, you attack her with experimental weaponry?
- Jessie Prescott: [Jessie has had enough of her dad forcing her to get along with Darla] Why do you care so much if I get along with Darla? After this trip, I'll never have to see her again!
- Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott: Oh, yes, you will, because you and Darla are going to be *sisters*!
- Jessie Prescott: [Jessie is shocked at the thought of becoming Darla's step-sister] WHAT?
- Col. Beverly Shannon: [looking at Jessie and Darla] That's right, girls. My armored heart has been captured by this
- [looking at J.W]
- Col. Beverly Shannon: uniformed yum-yum!
- [Beverly and J.W smooch in front of Jessie and Darla and both of them express looks of disgust]
- Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott: So, we wanted you to become friends before we told you, but now, we're out of time.
- [looking at Beverly, smiling]
- Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott: Our wedding is tomorrow.
- Jessie Prescott: [shocked and confused] Wait, tomorrow? As in... the day after today?
- Col. Beverly Shannon: Yes, if I can wait that long.
- [looking into space]
- Col. Beverly Shannon: The only man I've had in my life for the last 10 years is Uncle Sam.
- [doing the Uncle Sam pose at J.W]
- Col. Beverly Shannon: Now I want *you*!
- Jessie Prescott: [shocked] Wait, so, *that's* why you wanted me to come home?
- Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott: Yes! And that's why I invited *you*
- [looking at the kids]
- Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott: , not these little threats to national security! Now, get out of my B.A.T! I had the seat just where I liked it!
- Ravi Ross: [the kids slowly start to get out of the B.A.T] We are extremely sorry, sir. Even though I did not do anything, and it was all Luke's fault.
- [Ravi accidentally presses a button on the B.A.T and it foams both J.W and Beverly]
- Ravi Ross: OK, that one is on me. By the way, for the wedding; can you put me down for a vegetarian meal?
- [Beverly and JW look at the kids in horror, trying to get the foam off]