Having no idea how the score got into the 3 area, I must say that when this film would have been made as a project in a film school, I would fail each and everyone involved. The plot doesn't have just holes, there is no plot! It is rarely a good idea, when the main actor is also the writer and director. It was supposed to fail from the start, and man it DID fail. From casting to acting to cutting and special effects, nothing gets even close to professionalism. Plan 9 from Outer Space was at least involuntarily funny, and is cult today. But our film here is just bad. I am sure that intentions were good, or else Mr Baard would not have made this film, but he is well advised to look for experienced people to realize his projects, if someone is willing to finance it. He needs a writer to get it from the idea to a story, something he did not manage; this made the film boring to watch from start to end. With the basic ingredient lacking, a really good director could have still made a halfway decent film, given enough liberty to stray from the script. But as the director was the writer, no such thing happened. The same good director could have told his lead cast how to play the role with more than just one face, but again the director is the main actor. So that 1 star is only given, as there is no negative vote.
17 Reviews
Second worst movie i've ever seen!
darkxpyder13 December 2015
Wow, just, Woooow!!! This is a horrible movie! The acting is awfully horrible, the special effects are complete and utter crap, the plot ubber crappy and told in a bizarre confusing way that makes you question what happened when and where and from a movie with "ninja" in it's name you would expect at least the fights were good right? Nope! not by a loooooong shot! Worst fight scenes i remember seeing in my life! The only thing that aren't really really bad at this movie is the music that sometimes is even good(if you close your eyes and manage to ignore all the crappy horrible things happening at the screen), will there really be a sequel to this? really? Who the hell is funding this and why did Danny Glover agree to appear on this? Seriously, if you're lucky enough to read this before you watch it, please, for your own sake, DO NOT WATCH IT! It is not even weird enough to be funny, it's just a horrible waste of time!
Really?!?!?!?
ventime1 May 2015
DO NOT waste your time or money.
This is absolutely the worst acting that I have ever seen. This is absolutely the worst script ever turned into a movie. This movie has the hands-down worst special effects ever. I mean, I've seen better effects in cartoons.
This movie has made me question what is going on with the movie industry. My God, how did this ever even make it onto disc much less film?
It wouldn't have been so bad if it had been advertised as a comedy spoof. But, then again, maybe it would.
I want my $1.50 back.
Hey Danny, Really? What were you thinking? The only reason I rented it was because your name was headlined and I hadn't seen your acting in a while. I can only shake my head...
This is absolutely the worst acting that I have ever seen. This is absolutely the worst script ever turned into a movie. This movie has the hands-down worst special effects ever. I mean, I've seen better effects in cartoons.
This movie has made me question what is going on with the movie industry. My God, how did this ever even make it onto disc much less film?
It wouldn't have been so bad if it had been advertised as a comedy spoof. But, then again, maybe it would.
I want my $1.50 back.
Hey Danny, Really? What were you thinking? The only reason I rented it was because your name was headlined and I hadn't seen your acting in a while. I can only shake my head...
This is a really awful movie to even be an "action movie"
clintonbostwick7 December 2015
Warning: Spoilers
This was a complete waste of money and time, everything is completely fake, the moves are poor you can see everything before it happens its like watching a crappy anime , they stand around and wait for their turn to attack, the attacks are not even attacks. the bad guys are trying to be what they cannot be, look at them they look like little kids trying to reenact a movie on their own in a playground without even knowing what to do. you can hand pick strangers that never acted in their lives and they will do much better than these fools. really awful movie. its better they watch some action anime and entertain themselves than try acting like anime characters. To the full cast and producer "quit acting and producing,quit writing you all fail at this job, try something new" Ps: i can act much better than any of you as well ......
One inner hero not worth awakening
TheLittleSongbird30 March 2018
Like what was said in my recent review for 'The Secret Village', this is in no way intended to sound hate-filled or like a reviewer who hates everything review. Quite the contrary. Am actually a fair reviewer with a love of film of all decades, genres and regardless of what the budget is. IMDb's lowest possible ratings are very rarely given out by me, and also have no bias against low-budget films, there are watchable, and even good, ones out there.
'Ninja Immovable Heart' is another example of not being one of those watchable or good low-budget films. Instead another example, and perhaps even an even worse one (if that was humanly possible), of being one of the worst ever examples to me. One of the worst films recently viewed for me and among the worst ever. Again another case of me being serious and genuine, not being malicious. Malice has never been intended in any of my reviews, regardless of how strongly worded some of them are.
It's a cheap looking film visually, especially in the insultingly cheap (even for low budget) special effects and in the action scenes. Regarding the action scenes they are too few, and those that are in the film are very unexcitingly choreographed and chaotically edited.
The script is cheesy, stilted and didn't even feel like one that was properly organised let alone structured. There is nothing tense, suspenseful, fun or urgent about the paper thin, pedestrian and muddled story.
In 'Ninja Immovable Heart' none of the characters are intriguing or relatable, the direction is non-descript and the acting is dire. The use of Danny Glover is one of the worst wastes of any actor in any film.
The least bad thing about 'Ninja Immovable Heart', and the only thing that feels like some degree of effort has been put into it, is the music. Not exactly memorable, but at least it didn't sound cheap or ill-fitting.
Overall, awful. 1/10 Bethany Cox
'Ninja Immovable Heart' is another example of not being one of those watchable or good low-budget films. Instead another example, and perhaps even an even worse one (if that was humanly possible), of being one of the worst ever examples to me. One of the worst films recently viewed for me and among the worst ever. Again another case of me being serious and genuine, not being malicious. Malice has never been intended in any of my reviews, regardless of how strongly worded some of them are.
It's a cheap looking film visually, especially in the insultingly cheap (even for low budget) special effects and in the action scenes. Regarding the action scenes they are too few, and those that are in the film are very unexcitingly choreographed and chaotically edited.
The script is cheesy, stilted and didn't even feel like one that was properly organised let alone structured. There is nothing tense, suspenseful, fun or urgent about the paper thin, pedestrian and muddled story.
In 'Ninja Immovable Heart' none of the characters are intriguing or relatable, the direction is non-descript and the acting is dire. The use of Danny Glover is one of the worst wastes of any actor in any film.
The least bad thing about 'Ninja Immovable Heart', and the only thing that feels like some degree of effort has been put into it, is the music. Not exactly memorable, but at least it didn't sound cheap or ill-fitting.
Overall, awful. 1/10 Bethany Cox
Hilariously inept
dreamfactory-534-81430914 July 2019
One third Glen or Glenda, one third Neil Breen and one third Birdemic with Ninjas, this inane action "film" is a cheap shot on DSLR with tons of crappy "looks" filters excuse for adult nerd Rob Baard to play-pretend is a ninja (and play-pretend he's a filmmaker).
Like Glen or Glenda, the film seems like a strange excuse for the filmmaker to introduce his weird philosophy through inept, non-sensical dialogue (a scene where a main character discusses the danger of smoking, drinking and one-night stand is not to be missed). Also like Ed Wood's anti-masterpiece, this film continuously intercuts to an aging former star, Bela Lugosi....errr.... I mean Dany Glover, spouting random b.s. and commenting what's going on in the movie as if he could somehow watch it with us.
Like Neil Breen's films, Ninja Immovable Heart is utterly non-sensical, jumps back and forth between reality, fantasy, flashbacks, scenes that are supposed to take place 10 years earlier have the same makeup with fake injuries than scenes taking place today, weird super-power stuff that this incredible hero possesses to save everybody in a near-messianic manner.
Like Birdemic, this film is the work of a talentless, unskilled fan who cannot understand he has neither the skills nor the means to achieve the vision he must have had. Laughable effects, fight scenes that resembles 8 years old play fighting to a Chuck Norris movie, and amateur actors who, except for Glover and the old man playing John Carpenter (that's the character's name for real) can't act at all.
If you are a fan of the terrible films I mentioned and of things like MST3K, Rifftrax and Best of the Worst, definitely watch it. Otherwise avoid this like the plague.
Like Glen or Glenda, the film seems like a strange excuse for the filmmaker to introduce his weird philosophy through inept, non-sensical dialogue (a scene where a main character discusses the danger of smoking, drinking and one-night stand is not to be missed). Also like Ed Wood's anti-masterpiece, this film continuously intercuts to an aging former star, Bela Lugosi....errr.... I mean Dany Glover, spouting random b.s. and commenting what's going on in the movie as if he could somehow watch it with us.
Like Neil Breen's films, Ninja Immovable Heart is utterly non-sensical, jumps back and forth between reality, fantasy, flashbacks, scenes that are supposed to take place 10 years earlier have the same makeup with fake injuries than scenes taking place today, weird super-power stuff that this incredible hero possesses to save everybody in a near-messianic manner.
Like Birdemic, this film is the work of a talentless, unskilled fan who cannot understand he has neither the skills nor the means to achieve the vision he must have had. Laughable effects, fight scenes that resembles 8 years old play fighting to a Chuck Norris movie, and amateur actors who, except for Glover and the old man playing John Carpenter (that's the character's name for real) can't act at all.
If you are a fan of the terrible films I mentioned and of things like MST3K, Rifftrax and Best of the Worst, definitely watch it. Otherwise avoid this like the plague.
Still not too old for this ... (?)
kosmasp31 December 2015
On the bright side, this movie tries to be philosophical. But I think it's fair to say that it lands flat on its belly with that. Some might like the idea, that the movie is not just an action fest, where one stunt follows the other, but this gives you quotes on how or what a ninja should be (choices/lifestyle and what not).
But as said, it doesn't really work. Which has to do with wooden acting, bad cuts and not really good special effects. It's a shame, because there could've been a different sort of beast born out of this, but then again you can't have it all. The action scenes are sometimes nicely done, if you don't put a high standard on it. It's really a waste of time (and money), but that's up to you to decide
But as said, it doesn't really work. Which has to do with wooden acting, bad cuts and not really good special effects. It's a shame, because there could've been a different sort of beast born out of this, but then again you can't have it all. The action scenes are sometimes nicely done, if you don't put a high standard on it. It's really a waste of time (and money), but that's up to you to decide
Indie sci-fi, Aussie-style
Leofwine_draca29 November 2017
Warning: Spoilers
NINJA: THE IMMOVABLE HEART is an indie science fiction action flick from Australia. It's mostly of interest for featuring a cameo for poor old Danny Glover, stuck in one of those desk-bound video-link roles for a couple of minutes tops. Mostly this is the usual badly-shot nonsense taking place in the dark, with a bunch of characters running around and badly emoting. The action is poorly shot and mostly takes place at the climax, with some ridiculously weak pole fighting. A certain visual glossiness is the only redeeming value here.
Absolute crap
genieradio21 December 2015
This movie is so crap even kids cartoon has more substance,it is truly a waste of time watching it,the story line is all over the place bad acting and fight scenes,bad everything,40 minutes in you still don't know the plot or whats going on,you there hoping it will develop into something which never came,the worst experience i had in any film before,i don't think it deserves the right to be called a film, this was a waste of filming and the budget,i guess the actors just take the money and be like whatever,but this not good for reputation either, its a let down on all levels,the only thing good about this movie is image quality but everything else is crap,plain and simple
I do not believe this...
jeffs_cloud21 December 2015
OMG! Danny....What's happened? how you got carried away by this project ... the worst movie of the year! I wanted to see a ninja movie, but ... where's the ninja? I do not know how they managed, but the film industry shows its reality, leaving in appalling as to what we can expect from it ... even more known and artists involved in large projects doing bad and poor quality movies, will have the script for you read? spend far, far away from this movie. Rob Baard, still need to learn a lot about direction, acting, script, puts us in a swirl of lines and verses that say they do not respect the scenes that you expect to see, the action scenes are the biggest fiasco ... very weak and not convinced even my 6 year old, I was seeing a ninja movie, I confess that I got to cry when I saw the The effects used used in the film ...I never thought to see Danny in a performance like we saw,if you ever go back to producing, writing, directing, think of the time you lost, making us waste our time,even more so after all, effects, flaws in the script, direction, my biggest fear ... is that this is immortal ninja ...
Worst martial arts movie ever made
muki-214759 November 2020
I found a collection of martial arts movies. I love them. I guess every great actor/actress has to do one bad movie during their career. This was Danny Glovers worst project. The acting, the fight scenes, the flow of the movie was the worst. The Power Rangers Movie was better then this & I didn't even watch all of that movie. This is not even a movie, & how could anyone allow that junk to be released. It give martial movies a result based rep.
One of the Most Cheap and Boring Action Films I Have Ever Seen
daniel-mannouch7 June 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Australian Ninja film that you barely classify as a film rather than an animated storyboard collection. All action sequences in this film are 75% CGI and the majority of scenes in this film are merely just a cropped two shot of actors behind a green screen. And that Danny Glover billing on top of the one sheet that may have piqued your interest. Nothing more than a fifteen minute cameo presented with the utmost lethargy. They just put Danny Glover in a chair and have him run through his lines and there you go. Some real carny stuff here folks.
If you've ever seen Executioner Part 2 or any of James Bryan's films, you know of the kind of film i am talking about here. That's the level we're operating on. And we haven't even got Bryan's oddball sense of humour to see us through. Damn. There is not enough in this film to even define it as strange. Not to say that there aren't several unintentionally hilarious moments in this Ninja Immovable Heart. The rambling monologues, the actors obviously shooting at thin air. This whole thing comes off more like a parody of direct to video action films than anything else.
I can't really see anything else i can say about Ninja Immovable Heart other than it takes over an hour for an actual fight to occur in this film and even then it's some of the worst fight choreography of the decade. Ninja Immovable Heart has abysmal writing, abysmal action sequences and below Asylum visual effects. Just, simply, terrible.
If you've ever seen Executioner Part 2 or any of James Bryan's films, you know of the kind of film i am talking about here. That's the level we're operating on. And we haven't even got Bryan's oddball sense of humour to see us through. Damn. There is not enough in this film to even define it as strange. Not to say that there aren't several unintentionally hilarious moments in this Ninja Immovable Heart. The rambling monologues, the actors obviously shooting at thin air. This whole thing comes off more like a parody of direct to video action films than anything else.
I can't really see anything else i can say about Ninja Immovable Heart other than it takes over an hour for an actual fight to occur in this film and even then it's some of the worst fight choreography of the decade. Ninja Immovable Heart has abysmal writing, abysmal action sequences and below Asylum visual effects. Just, simply, terrible.
Please, don't watch
darknessgabriel22 September 2020
Fragmented, warped, illogical, made no sense.
vilkas-6401711 July 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Today a friend and I decided to watch this film. I expected it to be bad, but I could not imagine how bad it was. There was a very loose impossible to follow story line that kept jumping all over the place. Half the movie was watching some old bloke lecture the "ninja" about stuff that just didn't matter. The special affects were atrocious, the script childish, and the acting the worse I have ever seen. I understand the budget was most likely small, but the only positive was the fact after 1:40:37 the film finished. I am totally shocked this film was released and somebody financed it. The best way I can describe it is a a jumble of clichés thrown into a washing machine and a cameo poorly done by Danny Glover to try and give this eyesore some sort of credibility. I will never watch this again and I warn others not to waste your time. If I could have scored it in the negatives I would have.
Wait..,WHAT???!!!
hbsteph-5013829 August 2021
A Seinfeld ninja film
bizarrealong15 July 2018
That this was made is a crime against cinema. That it's OVER 100 MINUTES LONG is a crime against humanity.
I_Ailurophile30 November 2023
Should you come across this film I can save you a lot of trouble in terms of wondering whether or not it's something worth watching. One line of dialogue given to Danny Glover within the first minute or so perfectly encapsulates everything that this represents: "I gave up standing for things a long time ago." This is the unabashed confession of an actor who has shown up only for a paycheck, and who in so doing has knowingly forsaken his integrity. Uncork'd Entertainment is a production and distribution company that operates on a level that makes The Asylum look like A24 and Uwe Boll look like Martin Scorsese; despite my boredom and curiosity, had I known they had a hand in making this, I simply would not have even considered pressing "play." Their association is a warning sign that I wish I had had in this instance, because 'Ninja immovable heart' is total rubbish. Everyone involved in making it should be ashamed of themselves, and everyone who has watched - including myself - needs to reevaluate their fundamental decision-making capabilities.
Rob Baard's dialogue and scene writing are hopelessly, uselessly blunt, tactless, and forthright; the narrative is hopelessly, uselessly, pointlessly scattered, loose, incohesive, and almost fully incoherent, not to mention reflective of utmost indifference to any root principles of storytelling. I would say that the screenplay is completely lacking of the faintest hint of writing skill that would exceed the level of the average twelve-year old's education, but then again, I think even my sixth-grade elementary school teacher would have been embarrassed to call me his student if I had turned in a creative writing assignment resembling this. The direction, credited to Baard and John Balazs, is absolutely no better. There is not a single moment to present before us that doesn't come across as limp, halfhearted, false, contrived, and empty. This might actually be the worst direction that I've ever seen, and I watched 'A karate Christmas miracle.' Rarely it seems like someone in the cast might be making an effort, but whether it's a lack of acting abilities on their part or an annihilating effect of the direction, the performances are excruciatingly terrible and unbelievable.
It was the filmmakers' obvious hope that we would be distracted from these flagrant, incredible deficiencies by on-screen graphics that glitch and buzz like a mid-90s (or maybe 80s) computer on the fritz, and by alteration to the basic image to greet our eyes - washed out color, excessive darkness, excessive brightness, occasional split-screen presentation, and so on. The filmmakers were mistaken. Such tricks no more cloak the failures of writing, direction, or acting than they do the egregiously transparent computer-generated "special effects," or the lackluster "stunts." Nor do they hide the haunted, vacant expression of a man who hates himself so thoroughly that all emotion and life has been drained away, and he continuously wishes for his end to come. I don't mean the protagonist, I mean the actor playing him, which is Baard himself. Well, Baard genuinely has no one but himself to blame. Meanwhile, I think filmmaker John Carpenter, he behind such classics as 'The thing' and 'Big trouble in Little China,' has a substantial, earnest case for libel against Baard, Balazs, Uncork'd Entertainment, and all those given producer credits: one of the major supporting characters here is named after him. I have a hard time imagining a greater insult than to tangentially be attached in any manner to 'Ninja immovable heart.'
By whatever means you stumbled onto this dreck, you should not watch it. Whatever you think you might get out of it, you should not watch it. No matter how curious or bored you are, you should not watch it. Whatever impetus you think you might have for checking out this 2014 feature, you should not watch it. I don't think it would be at all unfair for Baard, Balazs, and the others involved here to be blacklisted from the industry. Their assets should be seized and sold off, with the profits to be divided among the cast and crew who somehow got roped into participating, and the viewers who have ever made the mistake of sharing in the viewing experience. True, the resulting compensation may end up being mere pennies, which isn't nearly enough to truly atone for the movie's sins, but something is better than nothing. And nothing - nothingness, oblivion, the void, the abyss, eternal obscurity - is exactly where 'Ninja immovable heart' belongs. No one should ever watch this, end of story.
Rob Baard's dialogue and scene writing are hopelessly, uselessly blunt, tactless, and forthright; the narrative is hopelessly, uselessly, pointlessly scattered, loose, incohesive, and almost fully incoherent, not to mention reflective of utmost indifference to any root principles of storytelling. I would say that the screenplay is completely lacking of the faintest hint of writing skill that would exceed the level of the average twelve-year old's education, but then again, I think even my sixth-grade elementary school teacher would have been embarrassed to call me his student if I had turned in a creative writing assignment resembling this. The direction, credited to Baard and John Balazs, is absolutely no better. There is not a single moment to present before us that doesn't come across as limp, halfhearted, false, contrived, and empty. This might actually be the worst direction that I've ever seen, and I watched 'A karate Christmas miracle.' Rarely it seems like someone in the cast might be making an effort, but whether it's a lack of acting abilities on their part or an annihilating effect of the direction, the performances are excruciatingly terrible and unbelievable.
It was the filmmakers' obvious hope that we would be distracted from these flagrant, incredible deficiencies by on-screen graphics that glitch and buzz like a mid-90s (or maybe 80s) computer on the fritz, and by alteration to the basic image to greet our eyes - washed out color, excessive darkness, excessive brightness, occasional split-screen presentation, and so on. The filmmakers were mistaken. Such tricks no more cloak the failures of writing, direction, or acting than they do the egregiously transparent computer-generated "special effects," or the lackluster "stunts." Nor do they hide the haunted, vacant expression of a man who hates himself so thoroughly that all emotion and life has been drained away, and he continuously wishes for his end to come. I don't mean the protagonist, I mean the actor playing him, which is Baard himself. Well, Baard genuinely has no one but himself to blame. Meanwhile, I think filmmaker John Carpenter, he behind such classics as 'The thing' and 'Big trouble in Little China,' has a substantial, earnest case for libel against Baard, Balazs, Uncork'd Entertainment, and all those given producer credits: one of the major supporting characters here is named after him. I have a hard time imagining a greater insult than to tangentially be attached in any manner to 'Ninja immovable heart.'
By whatever means you stumbled onto this dreck, you should not watch it. Whatever you think you might get out of it, you should not watch it. No matter how curious or bored you are, you should not watch it. Whatever impetus you think you might have for checking out this 2014 feature, you should not watch it. I don't think it would be at all unfair for Baard, Balazs, and the others involved here to be blacklisted from the industry. Their assets should be seized and sold off, with the profits to be divided among the cast and crew who somehow got roped into participating, and the viewers who have ever made the mistake of sharing in the viewing experience. True, the resulting compensation may end up being mere pennies, which isn't nearly enough to truly atone for the movie's sins, but something is better than nothing. And nothing - nothingness, oblivion, the void, the abyss, eternal obscurity - is exactly where 'Ninja immovable heart' belongs. No one should ever watch this, end of story.
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