Andy Samberg acreditado por interpretar...
Jake Peralta
- Amy Santiago: Wall Street Journal on the doormat, top floor apartment... 20 bucks says this guy is like a hot, eligible bachelor.
- Jake Peralta: I'll take that action.
- [knocks on door]
- Jake Peralta: Police, open up!
- Old Man: Hello?
- Jake Peralta: Oh! Hello sir, how are you today? I am Detective Right-All-The-Time, and this is my partner, Detective Terrible Detective.
- [last lines]
- Jake Peralta: That's how we do it in the Nine-Nine, sir. Catch bad guys and look good doing it.
- [winces and fidgets]
- Captain Ray Holt: What is wrong with you?
- Jake Peralta: Never took off the Speedo. Big mistake. It is inside me. Great work, team!
- Jake Peralta: All right, listen up everybody! Better contact Captain Holt, let him know we have a ten-tie situation.
- Captain Ray Holt: Speaking of ties, where's yours Meep Morp?
- Jake Peralta: This is fantastic. Captain! Hey! Welcome to the murder.
- [first lines]
- Jake Peralta: This job is eating me alive. I can't breathe anymore. I spent all these years trying to be the good guy, the man in the white hat. I'm not becoming like them. I am them.
- Amy Santiago: Hey! What are you doing, weirdo?
- Jake Peralta: I'm doing the best speech from "Donnie Brasco". Or actually, ten of me are doing the best speech from "Donnie Brasco". What's up?
- Jake Peralta: Sorry dude... But this new guy is gonna be another washed-up pencil pusher, who's only concerned with
- [robotically]
- Jake Peralta: following every rule in the patrol guide. Meep morp zeep. Robot captain engage.
- Captain Ray Holt: Is that what you think?
- Jake Peralta: He-hey! New captain alert.
- [laughs]
- Jake Peralta: You must be the new C.O. I'm Detective Jake Peralta. Great to meet you.
- Captain Ray Holt: Now don't let me interrupt. You were describing what kind of person I'm gonna be. I'd like you to finish.
- Jake Peralta: That's not necessary. Or I could recap very quickly, sure. Um, let's see. I think I said some joke about being a washed-up pencil pusher.
- Captain Ray Holt: Now do the robot voice.
- Jake Peralta: Which...
- Captain Ray Holt: The robot voice you were doing when you implied I'm a rule-following robot. I wanna hear it again.
- Jake Peralta: Meep morp... Zarp. Robot.
- Captain Ray Holt: That's a terrible robot voice.
- Jake Peralta: Yep.
- Captain Ray Holt: The next time I see you, I'd like you to be wearing a necktie.