Trama

It's Winston's birthday and he wants a party. Schmidt is still seeing Elizabeth and wondering where it will lead. Jess's father comes to town for Cece's wedding, and Nick & Jess try to hide their relationship. Jess has a job interview.

It's the morning after for Jess and Nick, but Jess's dad shows up unannounced. Jess gets a phone call about a teaching job and leaves Nick alone with her dad for the day and he has to try to avoid talking about girls. Elizabeth shows up at Schmidt's office, but Schmidt fails to defend her after a co-worker makes a rude comment about her appearance, and he has to try and win her back. Cece takes a nap the day before her wedding but wakes up with a henna tattoo on her face. Meanwhile, it's Winston's birthday and everybody seems to have forgotten.—napierslogs

The Next Morning

Nick stares longingly at Jess in bed after their night together, then checks her pulse when she doesn't move. He goes to make breakfast in bed, ending up with runny eggs and a grapefruit he rips open with his hands. He's on his way to his room with a tray when he runs into Jess' dad, Bob (Rob Reiner), in the hallway. Luckily, it's Winston's birthday so Nick pretends the tray was for him. Bob's there for Cece's wedding.

Schmidt turns to Elizabeth in the morning for reviews of his new skinny body. She liked the way the old one moved, too.

Cut to Elizabeth approaching him at a frat party and asking him to dance. They both get up and cut some mean cabbage patch and Roger Rabbit.

Back at the loft, Jess gets a call from her friend Peg about an opening for a teacher at her school -- but she has to be there in 30 minutes, leaving Bob alone with Nick. Nick tries to pretend he's busy with "documents," but falls for Bob's pity act and agree to keep him company.

Cece's apartment is overrun with her family. Jess calls and shames a relative to stop hogging Cece's spotlight. Jess calls Winston to pick up Cece's wedding sari. Winston thinks it's a ruse to surprise him for his birthday.

Jess arrives at school to find out it's not an interview, she's subbing for an overrun classroom.

Up on the roof, over beers, Bob asks Nick if he's dating anyone. Nick says there's someone. She's not quirky, has no bangs, is tall and fat, has beady eyes and her name is Yolanda Winston.

Elizabeth drops in on Schmidt at work. When he sees her kitty cat t-shirt he pretends he doesn't know her. She refuses to let him make her feel bad about herself and leaves to go on the date she originally turned down to be with him.

At school, Jess tries to leave for lunch but runs into Dr. Foster, who is eager to have the world's longest, wordiest lunch with Jess to see if she fits into the Coolidge culture. He starts telling her about the school goat, and she's trapped.

Winston shows up at Cece's for the surprise party that isn't happening, wearing a red leather suit, and finds no one there. Cece wakes up from her nap and discovers she slept on her henna tattooed hands and has design all over her face.

At the loft, Bob teaches Nick how to make a sandwich: lettuce, tomato, lettuce, meat, meat, meat, meat, meat, cheese, lettuce.

Nick asks Bob for advice about "Yolanda Winston." Jess calls and doesn't like that they're talking about girls. She's about to go home when Cece calls screaming. Jess goes over and tries removing the henna, but just manages to smear it around like a dirt beard.

"Burqas isn't you guys, is it?" Jess asks.

Nick tells Bob that he's only slept with Yolanda once, but really cares about her and doesn't want to screw it up. Bob says any girl would be lucky to have him, so Nick tells him Yolanda is really Jess.

Bob springs up and runs after Nick, threatening to kill him.

Jess calls the place that did the tattoo and learns that it's not coming off. Jess tells Cece she slept with Nick.

Jess comes home and is horrified to learn Nick told her dad they slept together. Nick reminds Bob of himself at that age, aimless and not knowing what he wanted. If he'd figured things out sooner, he might still be married to Jess's mom. Nick goes to his room, shamed. Jess has to go back to school.

Jess gets her class' attention by getting on the desk and screaming at them. She tells the class she can't date her dad. She tells them life is messy, but the messy parts are the best parts. One of the middle schoolers offers her a pack of cigarettes.

Shivrang comes to comfort Cece. Jess called him and told him to look for the guy who looks like Mandy Patinkin. He assures her if their biggest problem is her henna beard, they're going to be fine.

Elizabeth's date consists of a lot of silence. Schmidt shows up at the restaurant in his old fat clothes, including the "Frog-ettaboutit" sweatshirt she got him years ago.

"I want to be with you and I don't care who knows it," he says.

He asks her to dance in the middle of the quiet Italian restaurant. They bust out Roger Rabbits, not caring what anybody thinks.

Jess comes home to find her dad blowing up an air mattress, planning to sleep in the hallway between her and Nick.

At 1:22 a.m., Jess gets a text from Nick: Roof.

She goes up to find the breakfast he was going to give her this morning. "I hope my dad didn't get in your head," she says.

They're interrupted when Elizabeth and Schmidt come up, planning to compare the constellations to the moles on his back. Winston joins them and thinks the gathering means they remembered his birthday.