I don't know what it is with the parody parading as serious hallmark style cheesy Christmas movies being churned or in recent years but I can't imagine that anyone could watch these movies with any grain of seriousness when the plots are completely stereotyped and across who are generally decent actors purposely over (under?) act to be on par with actual holiday movies thar are supposed to be taken seriously. That being said, this movie made me laugh hard at the ridiculousness of how perfectly this movie played on those played out tropes. And, they did it better than the 2022 Christmas parody, Christmas with the Campbells which was just downright cringe-worthy thanks to my beloved Justin Long's awful, over the top nondescript southern/Midwestern small town cowboy accent. I hear Justin Long but I heart Chris Hansen almost as much and at least he didn't attempt a bad accent. Definitely worth a watch for a good laugh at the tongue in cheek, poking fun at sappy holiday romance movies.
8 Reviews
A PG 13 alternative to Hallmark movies
naladog7729 April 2024
This is a Hallmark movie at its core, but it has some adult jokes peppered throughout. The guy from Reno 911 and The State steals the show as local broadcaster Dick Mountain. I saw some reviews making it look like it's crude language throughout, and it's not at all, just here and there and sometimes it's nice to take a break from the ever sugary G rated Hallmark movie. It's got a good cast, some nice outdoor snow mountain scenery that is not Vancouver for a change which is all you see with Hallmark (although Vancouver is beautiful)- filmed in New Mexico. It's also a spoof of sorts on 80s ski resort movies. Overall if you like Hallmark but are looking for something just a bit less sugary, you will like this. Don't overthink it.
Gross, with some good actors.
Lightseven18 December 2023
I was hopeful for another decent holiday movie with comedy and charm, a great plot line and some romance.
What I got?
More than 40 dick jokes and a deep concern for one of the child actors. Never in my life would I have expected to hear a child be forced to say "would 6 inches make you happy, mommy?".
GROSS.
Was this supposed to be a parody? What was the point of this movie? To humiliate Malin and Amy? A waste of money and resources as far as I'm concerned. For anyone trying to avoid chauvinistic movies with dick innuendoes every 2 minutes- don't waste your time with this film.
If a parody this was to be, you missed the mark entirely.
What I got?
More than 40 dick jokes and a deep concern for one of the child actors. Never in my life would I have expected to hear a child be forced to say "would 6 inches make you happy, mommy?".
GROSS.
Was this supposed to be a parody? What was the point of this movie? To humiliate Malin and Amy? A waste of money and resources as far as I'm concerned. For anyone trying to avoid chauvinistic movies with dick innuendoes every 2 minutes- don't waste your time with this film.
If a parody this was to be, you missed the mark entirely.
Possibly the worst AND least accurate Christmas movie ever made
jalapenoman15 December 2023
Warning: Spoilers
If you want some sense of accuracty or truth in your movies, don't look for it in this one. I am a former resident of Ruidoso, New Mexico and have been to the ski resort there on multiple occasions. I can tell you that:
It is called Ski Apache and not Ski Alto. While you do turn in the small town of Alto to go up the mountain to the resort, that is not the name of the resort.
The ski resort has been owned by the Mescalero Apache Indian Tribe for over sixty years. It is not owned by a local family (or been in their family for generations).
A character asks why there are no hotels in the area. THERE ARE!!!! Tourism because of the ski resort, the horse racing track, the lakes, the casinos, and many other things make this town into a tourist destination and the area towns (Ruidoso, Alto, and Ruidoso Downs) are full of hotels and motels. It is the main industry for the area.
Ski Apache is not a dumpy little ski run. As the southern most ski resort in the United States, it is full every week with skiers for the nearby cities of El Paso and Lubbock (Texas) and Juarez and Chihuahua (Mexico) as well as people from further away in Dallas, Houston, Austin, and San Antonio.
There isn't a Christmas Tree lot on the top of the mountain in the parking lot for the resort. That is honestly not a financially viable plan for the square footage.
The constant Dick jokes in the movie because of a main characters name were also unappreciated as well as unwelcome and should have gotten this a PG-13 rating.
Avoid this film like the plague.
It is called Ski Apache and not Ski Alto. While you do turn in the small town of Alto to go up the mountain to the resort, that is not the name of the resort.
The ski resort has been owned by the Mescalero Apache Indian Tribe for over sixty years. It is not owned by a local family (or been in their family for generations).
A character asks why there are no hotels in the area. THERE ARE!!!! Tourism because of the ski resort, the horse racing track, the lakes, the casinos, and many other things make this town into a tourist destination and the area towns (Ruidoso, Alto, and Ruidoso Downs) are full of hotels and motels. It is the main industry for the area.
Ski Apache is not a dumpy little ski run. As the southern most ski resort in the United States, it is full every week with skiers for the nearby cities of El Paso and Lubbock (Texas) and Juarez and Chihuahua (Mexico) as well as people from further away in Dallas, Houston, Austin, and San Antonio.
There isn't a Christmas Tree lot on the top of the mountain in the parking lot for the resort. That is honestly not a financially viable plan for the square footage.
The constant Dick jokes in the movie because of a main characters name were also unappreciated as well as unwelcome and should have gotten this a PG-13 rating.
Avoid this film like the plague.
Utterly abysmal stinking Christmas turkey
danieljfarthing25 December 2023
Utterly abysmal "The Christmas Classic" is a stinking Christmas turkey rather than any kinda Christmas classic. Malin Akerman returns to her small, mountain hometown to close a deal for her smarmy fiancé to turn Ryan Hansen's 'charming' ski resort into a corporate beast (boo!)... but as Hansen's reluctant she's stuck staying with the family she'd tried to avoid (including Amy Smart & Chris Mulinax) - might that teach her some life lessons? Director / co-writer (Austin Nichols) Shane Dax Taylor applies the lowest standards to his work, and the dire quality of some performances bear that out. It is a Christmas disaster. Dire. Avoid at all costs.
Should have an "R" rating for language
george-4231010 January 2024
So in the first 3 minutes the female lead yells "S**T!" and then "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD" half a dozen times. Several minutes in we hear "Not a chance in H**l" and then her sister starts with the "OH MY GOD." Whoever the writers are needs to broaden his/her/their vocabulary and knowledge of proper English that would be appropriate for a Christmas movie that (assumedly) children will be watching. The female lead character is a spoiled, arrogant, entitled and thoroughly hateful brat--so nothing at all "nice" or uplifting about this pile of detritus. First thought is "Well the children won't be watching this," and second thought is that the exclamation "S**T" in the first few minutes is a very suitable description of this film. Turned it off at 20 minutes in. An offensive waste of time.
Not even close to Christmas with Campbells
Ramthewineguy21 December 2023
Terrible writing
Terrible acting
Terrible directing.
Terrible music Terrible production Just terrible
Who is this actor Wes Hager? I can find someone off the street to act better than him.
Sad....sad excuse for a movie
Malin akerman Is the only draw to this movie.
Island Christmas dancing I can live with but rest blah
While I agree Justin Longs accent was horrible in Christmas with the Campbells, the movie was far superior to this junk!
Stick with the Campbells & skip this classless movie!
Don't let other review fool you like it fooled me.
Blah blah blah Don't watch this Thank you bye.
Terrible music Terrible production Just terrible
Who is this actor Wes Hager? I can find someone off the street to act better than him.
Sad....sad excuse for a movie
Malin akerman Is the only draw to this movie.
Island Christmas dancing I can live with but rest blah
While I agree Justin Longs accent was horrible in Christmas with the Campbells, the movie was far superior to this junk!
Stick with the Campbells & skip this classless movie!
Don't let other review fool you like it fooled me.
Blah blah blah Don't watch this Thank you bye.
No redeeming qualities
eric-wallis16 February 2024
I started watching this show because it has several really good cast members. However, it seems that they all needed a quick pay check and agreed to do this movie without looking at the script first. I was really hoping that this would be one of the really good Hallmark type movies like Ex-Mas. However, this movie is so shallow, unrealistic and stupid that none of the characters are worth caring about. I think that the actors tried their best, but either low funding, bad locations or bad directing has crushed their efforts. There are hundreds of really good Christmas rom/coms. This is NOT one of them. Do yourself a favor and skip this one.
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