Community (TV Series)

Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations (2013)

Adam Devine: Willy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Britta Perry : You came back!

  Jeff Winger : [to William]  I'm sorry. You should take some credit for who I've become.

  William Winger : Okay.

  Jeff Winger : So let me tell you how I turned out, just so you're crystal clear on your impact. I am not well-adjusted. More often than not, I am barely keeping it together. I'm constantly texting, and there's no one at the other end. I'm just a grown man who can't even look his own friends in the eye for too long because I'm afraid that they'll see that I am broken. So you get credit for that.

  William Winger : Oh, come on, now...

  Jeff Winger : One time, when I was in seventh grade, I told everyone at school that I had appendicitis. I wanted someone to worry about me. But when Beth Brannon asked to see the scar, I didn't wanna get found out, so I took Mom's scissors, and I made one. It hurt like hell, but it was worth it, because I got 17 cards. And I still keep them in a box underneath my bed 22 years later, because it proves that someone, at some point, cared about me. You wanna see the scar? So you get credit for that too. This is me.

  William Winger : Look, Jeff, I, uh...

  [eyes shift back and forth, then widen, groans loudly, drops champagne flutes, clutching his chest and bends over] 

  Willy : Daddy!

  Jeff Winger : Are you *faking* a heart attack?

  William Winger : [sheepishly]  Kind of a Hail Mary.

  Jeff Winger : Happy Thanksgiving, dad.

• Willy : Dad hates me.

  Jeff Winger : What do you care what that guy thinks? He's a dick.

  Willy : See? That's what I need to learn! How to be all dead inside with muscles on top, not all emotional and flabby.

  Jeff Winger : Yeah, but you are emotional, and if you pretend you're not, you're only letting him off the hook for being a terrible father, which he is and always has been. I mean, he meant the world to you, and you meant nothing to him, and if you run away now, he'll never know. He should know. Britta's the worst.

• William Winger : [Willy throws a bread roll at his father]  Damn it, Willy!

  Willy : I'm expressing.

  William Winger : Knock it off. Why can't you just swallow it like any normal person?

  Willy : Oh, heh, heh. Oh! Right, like your new son. Like mister-- Mr. I've-Got-My-Shirt--

  [to Jeff] 

  Willy : I don't know personal details about you.

  Jeff Winger : Well, my name's Jeff.

  Willy : Don't help me, Mr. Helper-Guy.

• Britta Perry : I have an idea. Why don't we use these dinner rolls to do some role play? I see what I did there.

  Willy : Okay. This roll, this is me. He's crying.

• William Winger : Oh, I see you've met Willy Junior.

  Willy : You said he wasn't going to replace me. He's the Schwarzenegger. I'm the DeVito. I get it.

  [chuckles maniacally] 

• Willy : Hi.

  Jeff Winger : Hi. You must be my half-brother.

  [they shake hands] 

  Willy : Oh, your hands are so much bigger than mine.