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- Edna Krabappel: Only one way to get rid of her: the nuclear option.
- Homer Simpson: How much plutonium do you need? I must warn you, it might take me twenty minutes to get it.
- Edna Krabappel: Honey, I know you feel guilty that you cold-cocked Homer.
- Ned Flanders: Please don't say that word in bed.
- Edna Krabappel: Only one way to get rid of her: the nuclear option.
- Homer Simpson: How much plutonium do you need? I must warn you, it might take me twenty minutes to get it.
- Superintendent Chalmers: Mrs. Simpson, this school does not hire bullies.
- Principal Skinner: That's right. We...
- Superintendent Chalmers: Quiet, nerd!
- Ned Flanders: I want you hit me in the eye. If you do, we'll be even according to Exodus, Leviticus and Matthew.
- Homer Simpson: So you went and hired a law firm, eh?
- Dr. Hibbert: You'll need to wear an eyepatch for a couple of weeks, but I'm afraid you might never see another 3-D movie again.
- Homer Simpson: But the storytelling is finally catching up to the technology.
- Homer Simpson: Unions are the worst. There's this one guy at the plant. Has caused three meltdowns, and he's still working there.
- Marge Simpson: Homer, that's you.
- Homer Simpson: Oh. I say union, you say power. Union!
- Marge Simpson: [flatly] Power.
- Homer Simpson: Union!
- Marge Simpson: [flatly] Power.
- Homer Simpson: [Whispers] Marge, you're really digging it on the "power," but don't worry. Because of the union, you're safe.
- Lisa Simpson: How does someone become a bully?
- Dolph: Neglect.
- Jimbo Jones: Abuse.
- Kearney: I'm a Cubs fan.
- Jimbo Jones: Your bully is a teacher?
- Kearney: That means all of us could be teachers!
- Dolph: Booyeah! I'm going to get a Hyundai Elantra!
- Ned Flanders: How long has it been since we prayed together, neighbor?
- Homer Simpson: This is praying? Get me out of here!
- Ned Flanders: [Dreaming of entering his own personal Hell] Was this always waiting for me, or was it put up recently? That's all I wanna know.