Maria Bamford: Lu-Shi

Bride of Po

Lu-Shi

Junjie: My daughter and I can't thank you enough for helping us in our time of need. Lu-shi is to be married tomorrow.
Po: Marr - I see.
[chuckles]
Po: lucky guy. anyone I know?
Lu-shi: Well I never even met him.
Monkey: Ah, it's one of those arranged dealios.
Lu-shi: Yeah, pretty stoked about it. He's called "the dragon warrior".
Po: Head definitely exploded.

Monkey: So you trade him for plates?
Mr. Ping: and bowls. That's how the restaurant business works.
Mu-shi: Lu-shi, give Poe his present.
Chen: Yes, sir. Po, I understand that you like action figures.
Po: [chuckles] Yeah, well, I did. When I was a kid a long time ago. No really no...
Chen: [squeals]
Chen: I collected too.
Po: is that a master shifu?
Chen: The mono-brow variant.
Po: That's the rarest one there is!
Chen: I know! It's yours now or ours if you wanna go through with the whole marriage thing.
Po: Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait, Just so we're clear, You're pretty, funny, good at kung fu, you love dumplings and collecting action figures?

Viper: Well, looks like somebody gets to plan a wedding. Can it be man? Please say yes.
Po: Go crazy. Oh, Lu-shi I'd would like you to meet...
Lu-shi: Master Tigress. Oh, my - oh, m - oh, my gosh.
Lu-shi: [nervous laugh]
Lu-shi: I'm kind of a mega fan. no, alot. seriously, it's, like, such an honor.
Tigress: Hang on? you wanna married him?
Lu-shi: Uh-huh.
Tigress: Really?
Po: Whoa, Tigress never pegged you for the jealous type.
Tigress: jealous? you must be kid...
Lu-shi: Po. A word.

Lu-shi: Crane wants to meet with us later to go over the seating chart and - Po are you okay.
Po: Huh? oh, uh, yeah, yeah sorry
Lu-shi: [gasp] You're having second thoughts.
Po: What? no way. kind of. I mean, look, meeting you was the most amazing thing that's happened to me since - since I became the dragon warrior.
Lu-shi: Do what your heart tells you, Po. Don't let me sway you
Po: oof! But It's all happening so fast.
Lu-shi: As dragon warrior, you sacrifice so much to protect the valley of peace, Po. But run from true love would be like running from the great a battle We'd always wonder what if?
Po: Huh? maybe you're right.

Chen: Oh, Po. Maybe now that this all over...
Po: [sighs] I can't marry you, Lu-shi. So long as there are evildoers like junjie threatening the valley of peace, I have to remain the dragon warrior.
Chen: Marry me? You Dork. we barely know each other. I was thinking maybe we could just hang out sometime.
Po: Ow! Oh, yeah, that'd be cool. But I gotta warn you, somebody might be a little jealous, so, uh - ow! There she is now.

Po: uh, well...
Lu-shi: Po?
Po: Uh, it's not - It's not that I don't want to, But-but-but maybe we should wait to and...
Lu-shi: Wait? we can't wait. If we don't do this right now, he'll - he'll...
Po: He'll what? to who? who's "he"?
Mu-shi: Oh, this is an outrage. get on with it! Marry my daughter and step down as dragon warrior, you ninny!
Po: But I...
Mu-shi: Enough!
Po: But I...
Mu-shi: Go on!
Po: I'm just not.