The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Cooper/Kripke Inversion (2013)
Simon Helberg: Howard Wolowitz
Photos
Quotes
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Raj Koothrappali : [Opening the package with his and Howard's action figures] Say hello to an exact scale model of me.
[Raj's figure looks like a black man]
Raj Koothrappali : Ohhh, I'm not dark chocolate! I'm melt-in-your-mouth caramel!
Howard Wolowitz : [Howard's action figure has a huge nose] Oh, man! Look at my nose!
Leonard Hofstadter : Maybe it's a shipping problem.
Howard Wolowitz : What?
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah. Maybe Wesley Snipes and Toucan Sam just got action figures that look like you guys.
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : Howie, we can't afford to waste money on junk like this.
Howard Wolowitz : What are you talking about? We make plenty of money.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : *I* make plenty of money! You make peanuts!
Howard Wolowitz : Yes, but we're married now. That means when you get sick, I take care of you. And when you make a bunch of money, I get to buy stuff. Sorry if you don't like it, but that's how love works.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : No, here's how love works. You're going to return the machine, or you can print out a working set of lady parts and sleep with those.
[seeing his look of contemplation]
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Oh, my god! Are you actually thinking about it?
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Howard Wolowitz : What do you think, Sheldon? Want an action figure that looks just like you?
Sheldon Cooper : Would it come with kung-fu grip?
Howard Wolowitz : No.
Sheldon Cooper : Don't waste my time.
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Howard Wolowitz : Oh, good. You're home. Got a little surprise for you.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : What?
Howard Wolowitz : [showing her an action figure of himself] Say hello to my little friend.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Oh, my god. That's so cute. I didn't think there could be a smaller version of you.
Howard Wolowitz : I know, right? And thanks to photographs and a little 3D modeling...
[he shows her a figurine of herself]
Howard Wolowitz : ...here comes the bride.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Oh, Howie, I love these.
Howard Wolowitz : I thought you might.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Were they expensive?
Howard Wolowitz : Didn't cost a thing. I made them myself.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : How?
Howard Wolowitz : Koothrappali and I bought a used 3D printer for $5,000.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : $5,000 for a couple of dolls? Are you out of your mind?
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Howard Wolowitz : Bernadette has a great job. My wife came with both funbags and moneybags.
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Howard Wolowitz : Can you please make that out to Bernadette? I was taken off the joint account until I learn the value of money.