- Brendan: Cory... I'm gay.
- Cory: I know.
- Brendan: What?
- Cory: You're gay.
- Brendan: How do you know I'm gay? You don't know I'm gay.
- Cory: Hm?
- Brendan: How long have you known I'm gay?
- Cory: Well... we met, what, freshman year at college, so...
- Brendan: So, why didn't you tell me?
- Cory: Why didn't I tell YOU your sexual orientation?
- Haley Joel Osment: Are you getting butt-fucked, butt-fucked, butt-fucked right now? Just 'cause you like to fuck dudes, it doesn't make you "gay." I fuck whatever I want, man. I feel, like, completely normal.
- Angela Sarafyan: [as herself] Time to get serious.
- Luke Bracey: [as himself] G'day, I'm Luke Bracey.
- Emily Meade: [as herself] I'm Emily Meade.
- Dustin Milligan: [as himself] I'm Dustin Milligan.
- Angela Sarafyan: I'm...
- [bleeped out]
- Luke Bracey: Now, I know sword-fighting seems cool when you're older brother or sister does it, but it's not just fun.
- Emily Meade: You can die, or get your tits chopped off.
- Dustin Milligan: Whether it's with rapiers or broadswords or just shanks that you made out of your own hair...
- Luke Bracey: ...sword fighting causes more problems than it solves, always.
- Emily Meade: Always.
- Dustin Milligan: Always.
- Angela Sarafyan: Always.
- Dustin Milligan: So, if you or a friend is challenged to a duel, stop.
- Angela Sarafyan: Think.
- Emily Meade: And contact the palace guards.
- Dustin Milligan: Or a wizard.
- Luke Bracey: In Australia where I'm from, if someone fucks with ya, you just tie 'em to a horse and send that horse off a cliff.
- Emily Meade: But what happens to the horse?
- Luke Bracey: The horse fucking dies.
- Dustin Milligan: Stop before you start.
- Angela Sarafyan: Words.
- Emily Meade: Words.
- Dustin Milligan: Words... not s-s-s-swords.
- [title card: "Words NOT Swords. Sponsored by the Office of National Sword Control Policy Partnership for a Duel-Free America."]
- Cory: Ohh, God, it's so boring back home, man. Yeah, you don't even know, man. Like I don't do anything anymore. Like nothing. I packed my bags to move out of my place, like, two years ago, and-and-and I never moved. I never unpacked my bags, man. I've just been... I'm just living out of bags.
- Brendan: Are YOU okay?