2025 Armageddon (2022) User Reviews

2025 Armageddon

[Prismark10 · 4/10 · 9 January 2023]

Asylum's enters its own metaverse. Monsters are unleashed in various parts of the planet. An asteroid takes out the space station. A giant sea creature sinks a US navy ship.

It looks like aliens could be planning to invade Earth. However if there's intelligent life out there. We are in trouble.

They have been streaming Asylum movies and then recreated the monsters from the movies on some kind of 3D printing machine.

Well it is creatively different. It gives Asylum an excuse to recreate their back catalogue of cheapo monsters. Even admit how rubbish some of their movies are as well as mention a few of their most successful titles.

The dramatic bits leave a lot to be desired. Michael Pare seems to be morphing to a slightly younger version of Brian Cox. At least Asylum has its tongue firmly in cheek.

Agree to Disagree.

[nogodnomasters · 4/10 · 28 April 2023]

The film starts out in 2006 when sister Maddy and Quinn watch Asylum's "Snakes on a Train" by their grandmother because they were too young to watch the one worthwhile watching. In 2025 their Dad Thomas Ramsey (Michael Pare) is Secretary of Defense (I think). The sisters had a falling out (Asylum films are about broken families reuniting as a sub-theme). Maddy (Jhey Castles) is a Lt. Colonel in the Navy, a rank that does not exist. Quinn (Lindsey Marie Wilson) works for NASA and has a two-way radio that transmits from under the Atlantic Ocean. Soon aliens, the Xelitians (I am sure there is an anagram in there somewhere) are attacking Earth using creatures they are manufacturing from their watching Asylum films. Aaron (Phillip Andre Botello) of the FCC is the first to figure this out and knows the nature of the next attack. Meanwhile the Capitol is destroyed and Dad takes over as President making Alexander Haig, green with envy.

The characters were horribly done. Michael Gaglio was good as himself, something they should have done more.

Guide: No swearing, sex, or nudity.

Asylum Studios Excavation, LLC., Plot Holes for every occasion

[tchristophermiller · 2/10 · 19 April 2024]

Almost 10 minutes near the beginning developing characters I can't recall the names of? Asylum! Thinking you're the Bard? It timed out at 00:08:18 of non-monster/alien spaceship footage; enough to make me almost give up and ask, "Is this truly an Asylum movie?"

I'm glad I hung on. It delivered. Pure "cr*ppy monster movies" (their script, verbatim) of the expected studio signature, where the plot holes require 20m planks to traverse, the self-deprecation of the studio's reputation for pure schlock, the deep investment in their known tropes of family reunification, numerous camara angles within each scene to capture each emotional wince delivered from their stellar cast, and the total absurdity of the story arc. And hats off to the steady camerapersons for mimicking the currently popular stylistic choice of handheld over boom or trolley-based filming, while still holding focus on characters tight enough to reduce nausea to the viewer; not that the wizards at the studio didn't reveal their competency with some very professional camera work slipped in throughout the roller coaster montage of mashups from previous Asylum classics.

But seriously, how the heck did The president survive the helicopter crash, his LtC daughter survive a face off with a 100m long piranha, and his doctor daughter survive an alien spaceship crash? Such mysteries, if ever filmed, did not make the final cut, and are left to the viewer's imagination.

Torn between rating this a 2 or a 10, I go for the 2 in hopes of qualifying it for future selection by MST3K. Such film must be remembered.

2006 + 25 = 2031

[kristoferthompson · 5/10 · 23 February 2024]

This film starts in 2006, the jumps forward 25 years. That makes it set in 2031. NOT 2025. I doubt gis was deliberate, The Asylum don't care that much.

Over all this is an average Asylum film. Not as good as the first Sharknado or Methgator, but still watchable. The performances are what you'd expect from a movie of this caliber. No one os going to win an oscar, and the special effects are a lttle lacking.

At least the know how to take the piss out of them selves. There are a lot of tongue in cheek Aslyum jokes here.

If you enoy the Asylum films you'll enjoy this. Nothing new but it does what it says on the poster.

Absolutely the best Asylum movie to date

[Darthfrodo58 · 8/10 · 24 April 2023]

Asylum has quite a reputation for putting out schlock movies that are close to imitating real movies but not as good. The acting can be terrible, the writing almost always is but you know what you're getting when you see 'Asylum'. THIS MOVIE however firmly puts tongue in cheek and makes fun of other Asylum movies by having aliens recreate the monsters from Asylum movies and attacking earth. It's the closest thing Asylum has made to a Sharknado movie. In fact, one of the most hilarious parts is when a megalodon tosses the six headed shark into the blades of a helicopter you can't help but laugh.

The acting in this one is actually pretty good, and the writing is much better than I've come to expect from Asylum. In fact, the guy playing 'Actor' needs to be brought back in more movies because he just keeps you laughing every scene he's in. This is probably the first Asylum movie that I recommend people watch. Worth the time.

Such a great laugh

[turnbull50 · 8/10 · 3 January 2023]

I loved this film the acting was OK and the two women who are the main characters to a great job. Seeing so many monsters in one movie was a breath of fresh air. The reason I do t give it a ten is because it ends on a cliff hanger and needs a sequel. All in all a good fun movie to watch on a dull evening. Even the kids will like it. I hope there is a sequel. The CGI is not the best but it is OK in this movie. Having a giant crocodile destroy buildings is great to watch. Near the end of the movie it even switches to a Zombie movie where the president of America becomes a Zombie. The aliens who control the creatures are well done and the spaceships look good.

One of the movies ever made

[aaronmoshe · 10/10 · 13 July 2023]

When I started watching, my IQ was but a humble 130. Now I have joined the rest of humanity at the superior IQ of 100.

The movie featured some of film's most well recognized monsters such as big shark, big alligator and big robot. There was also a big octopus but it didnt do very much. It was basically the Avengers Endgame of the asylum cinematic universe.

The movie was an excellent advertisment for the asylum studio and routinely reminded us of that fact.

In spite of this, it was very enjoyable and is the perfect entertainment for a bad movie night or casual bad movie viewing.

In summation, this was definetly one of the movies that was ever made.