Community (TV Series)
Digital Estate Planning (2012)
Chevy Chase: Pierce Hawthorne
Photos
Quotes
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Britta Perry : Pierce. So Gilbert knows a couple tricks. Big deal. We outnumber him. Most importantly, while he's fighting for greed, we're fighting for friendship. Which means we can't lose, okay?
Pierce Hawthorne : Okay.
Britta Perry : Okay!
[Britta strikes and kills Pierce]
Britta Perry : I guess there's no hug button.
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Jeff Winger : What the hell, Gilbert? You're cheating, which I have no problem with, but you're getting caught, and that's not cool.
Pierce Hawthorne : Yeah, don't be a knob. That inheritence is rightfully mine.
Gilbert Lawson : Rightfully?
Pierce Hawthorne : I'm his son.
Gilbert Lawson : So am I.
Pierce Hawthorne : What? That can't be true. You're half... white!
Jeff Winger : Nice save.
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Cornelius Hawthorne : I designed this game to be played upon my death by you and whatever cabal of fruits, junkies, and sluts you call your friends.
Pierce Hawthorne : Her name is Britta.
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Hilda : I am Hilda. I live in the village.
Pierce Hawthorne : Lesbian.
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Hilda : The throne is in Castle Hawkthorne, north of here. You unlock the castle with the white crystal of discipline, which you must free from the black caverns.
Shirley Bennett : I'm picking up on some hidden symbolism.
Pierce Hawthorne : Right, "white crystal." You think dad was into meth?
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Pierce Hawthorne : We've only been playing this game a couple of hours. You've been playing it your whole life, and now it's time for your reward, brother. So get in there and kill our dad.
Gilbert Lawson : Thank you, Pierce.
[Moves to put on headset]
Pierce Hawthorne : Wait a second. Here, take this.
[Pulls out gun]
Pierce Hawthorne : You may need it.
Britta Perry : Oh!
Jeff Winger : Whoa! Oh, Pierce. You really don't know how this game works, do you?
[Puts the gun away]
Annie Edison : Are you always carrying that?
Pierce Hawthorne : Not in the shower.
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Gilbert Lawson : You're not supposed to cooperate, you're supposed to compete.
Jeff Winger : Thanks for the advice, but I think we can choose how we want to play.
Gilbert Lawson : I suppose we can.
Pierce Hawthorne : is he being ominous? Why are you being ominous?