- Barney Stinson: Back boobs... the visual stimulation of missionary meets the emotional detachment of doggy style, patent pending.
- Veronica: Chester, you're not even dressed, the reservation is in 15 minutes!
- Chester: [By the window with binoculars] Shh! He's back! Every night, at exactly 8:00pm, the well dressed blonde man appears
- [Through the window we see it is Barney]
- Veronica: Chuck and Dianne are going to be waiting.
- Chester: [Freaking out] You don't understand! Every night he does this! Every. Single. Night. He steps out of his building, walks exactly seven paces, stops, and SMILES.
- Veronica: Honey, I'm worried about you.
- Chester: Is he trying to communicate with someone? Is is he trying to communicate with ME? WHY IS HE DOING THIS.
- Robin Scherbatsky: [Cut to the gang in the bar] But, aside from not being able to fart in the apartment, how's living with Quinn?
- Narrator: Kids, here's the deal with Trilogy Time. It all started a long time ago in a dorm room far, far away...
- [Star Wars-esque credits say "Wesleyan The Year 2000"]
- Marshall Eriksen: Dude, if we fail this e-con final, for the rest of are lives we're not gonna be able to...
- [Waves hands, unable able to think of anything]
- Marshall Eriksen: We won't know how to...
- [Fails again]
- Marshall Eriksen: Do you even know what E-con is?
- Ted Mosby: No idea, we're screwed. Well there's only one thing left to do at a time like this: watch the entire Star Wars trilogy all the way through 'cause I haven't done that in like five years!
- Marshall Eriksen: Dude, you can't let that happen. If you're not trilling it at least once every three years, the dark side wins.
- Lily Aldrin: [about Barney not wanting to use Quinn's mugs] Oh, I see what this is really about.
- Barney Stinson: Yeah... mugs.
- [Sees Lily's face]
- Barney Stinson: Coffee? Tea! Ah. Religion.
- Ted Mosby: [Imagining what 2003 will be like] Our band is gonna be in demand.
- Marshall Eriksen: And luckily there will be plenty of supply.
- Ted Mosby: Supply? Demand? Dude, do you realize what we just did? We used E-con! We're gonna ace this final!
- Narrator: ...We both got zeros.
- Marshall Eriksen: [In 2009] How 'bout you Ted, how's your life gonna be different in three years?
- Ted Mosby: Oh, you know, the usual. Gonna met a nice girl and get married. I know I say that every year, but let's be honest in 2012, I'll be 34. If it still hasn't happened for me by then, something is seriously wrong with me.
- [Him and the guys laugh]
- Ted Mosby: [In 2012, spoken sadly] Something is seriously wrong with me.
- Barney Stinson: For the first time in my life, I don't want to find myself in three years with some random girl; no matter how many boobs she has. I want to be with Quinn. Guys, you're going to be seeing a lot more of Quinn.
- Marshall Eriksen: Dude, we've been to the Lusty Leopard, we've seen plenty.
- Barney Stinson: I kinda walked into that one.
- Marshall Eriksen: Where is Robin?
- Narrator: In the summer of 2009, Barney and Robin were secretly dating.
- Ted Mosby: Oh, Barney said she's taking some extension class on how to decoupage and Barney's taking a different decoupage class in the same building- that's why they shared a cab that one time.
- Narrator: We were idiots.
- Marshall Eriksen: Wait a minute. You're saying that Barney Stinson is at a decoupage class? That means we can watch Star Wars on his giant TV!
- Marshall Eriksen: TV... play... Star Wars trilogy... Play Star Wars tril' You know what? Screw it.
- Ted Mosby: Okay, you are about to see something awesome.
- Barney Stinson: And just know this: Han shot first.
- Barney Stinson: Point is, I plan on being with you for a long time, you okay with that?
- Quinn Garvey: Sounds great.
- Marshall Eriksen: [In 2003] I don't see anyway our lives are better now than they were three years ago.
- Barney Stinson: Oh really Marshall? Nothing comes to mind?
- [Points to girl he's with]
- Barney Stinson: By the way guys, this is Lisa you'll be seeing a lot more of Lisa.
- [She leaves]
- Barney Stinson: And they never saw her again. Waz-up!
- Marshall Eriksen: [Imagining 2006] What about you Barney, any predictions for 2006?
- Barney Stinson: Oh yeah, picture it.
- [Flash to 2006, Barney's with another girl]
- Barney Stinson: By the way guys, this is Jodie. You'll be seeing a lot more of Jodie.
- [She leaves]
- Barney Stinson: And they never saw her again. Waz-up!
- Barney Stinson: [In 2006] Ted's right: 2009 is gonna rule.
- [Flash to '09]
- Barney Stinson: By the way guys, this is Maya. You'll be seeing a lot more of Maya.
- [She leaves]
- Barney Stinson: And they never saw her again. Waz-up!
- Ted Mosby: [Back in 06] Seriously? Please tell me you will at least change what will then be a nine-year-old beer commercial reference.
- Lily Aldrin: [In Ted's imagination] I'm pregnant with baby number five!
- Ted Mosby: But baby number four isn't out yet!
- Marshall Eriksen: I'm just that good!