Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 (TV Series)

The Leak... (2013)

Krysten Ritter: Chloe

Photos 

Quotes 

• June Colburn : [explaining that she and James's gay manager became friends]  We meet for pedicures once a week now.

  Chloe : Oh, that's so sweet. Has his cycle linked up with yours too?

  June Colburn : See, that is why Luther doesn't like you, because you're so rude. Why would he do anything for you when you're such a bitch to him?

  Chloe : [sarcastic]  Oh, I get it! So, if I'm nice to Luther, he'll give me access to James. June, that's the first helpful thing you've ever said to me.

  [June remembers earlier incident, Chloe didn't close the toilet door behind her] 

  Chloe : So, if I close the bathroom door, then it is like a little sanctuary? June, that is the first helpful thing you've ever said to me.

  [but Chloe didn't care, June closed the door] 

• Chloe : [in street]  Okay, I'm back.

  [disapproving of woman June is chatting to about umbrella] 

  Chloe : Bye, Murder She Wrote.

  [hustles June away] 

  June Colburn : [to woman:]  Stay dry.

  [to her demanding friend:] 

  June Colburn : Chloe, what the hell...? Why can't you just be friendly?

  Chloe : Because friendly is a waste of time.

  [mimicking, ridiculing:] 

  Chloe : "Hey, how are you, I'm great, how are you, I'm great," back and forth until you die.

  June Colburn : Friendly is not a waste of time. Friendly has gotten me 700 friends on Facebook, one in each of the fifty states, three in Guam. I always know what is going on in Guam.

  Chloe : Please. Those people are all fake.

• June Colburn : [first lines, as Chloe seems to be doing handicraft]  What are you doing?

  Chloe : Mother's Day card. I like to make my own. Tell her how I really feel.

  [what she has done so far, reads: Dear Mom, Stop...] 

  James Van Der Beek : [entering, really peeved]  Well, Dean Cain's a fricking hero. It's all over the Internet.

  [takes command of Chloe's laptop] 

  James Van Der Beek : A mobile grooming van caught on fire, and Dean saved every single dog inside.

  [flips on the images] 

  Chloe : [as if offended]  Even the poodles?

  James Van Der Beek : Yeah. What an attention-whore.

  June Colburn : [looking at screen]  Oh no! There's a dead body underneath that tarp!

  [on-screen, dogs yap, young woman goes "Dean Cain!"] 

  June Colburn : Oh, it's just puppies! Ooooh!

  James Van Der Beek : First, he's Superman on TV. Now, he's Superman in real life. How am I supposed to compete with that on Dancing With The Stars?

  [slams laptop shut]