Dirty Little Secrets (Video 2012) Poster

(2012 Video)

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Unimaginative gimmick film from Brad
lor_13 June 2018
In the BTS short subject where he typically leads us step by step through the shoot, auteur Brad Armstrong describes this show succinctly: "A cute little movie and a hot little box". No, he doesn't mean vagina but rather a DVD box with nice still photos displayed.

That announces the welcome absence of a bloated, self-important would-be blockbuster from Brad, the type where he's swinging for the fences (or AVN awards which ever come first).

But erring on the "cute" side this is an insubstantial project, minus any of Wicked Pictures' contract stars, and evaporating into nothingness almost immediately after viewing, like those tape recordings Peter Graves and before him Steven Hill used to listen to for their marching orders on "Mission Impossible" 50 years ago.

Nominal star is Kelly Surfer, the British import who is attractive but never reached the first (or even second) rank in Adult Cinema. She's one of five sorority sisters who shoot the bull and in time-honored Porn Structure fashion introduce XXX flashbacks of encounters with the boyfriend. He is played throughout by Xander Corvus, the gimmick being that they don't know they've all had one-night-stands with the same guy. We know it immediately and Brad doesn't bother to create any suspense or surprise whatsoever -it's just a crutch allowing him to tie the requisite sex scenes together.

You're probably wondering about Xander's ability to perform, just as I was, and in the BTS Brad reveals he was able to get two scenes out of Corvus per day (i.e., two money shots per diem), from which we can infer a 2-day shoot, given 4 girls for XC to service. Finale is a lesbian orgy, directed flatly by Brad as sheer filler that many a viewer may choose to end prematurely.

Given the film's title it is also not surprising that it takes a twist into attempted black comedy, but Brad's avoidance of violence and poor direction make this turn of events achieving zero impact.

Of the gals I love Jayden Lee the most, here in her pre-breast-enlargement phase cast as a science nerd. Vanessa Veracruz is singled out for a Solo masturbation scene, no Corvus or cum shot required, and Brad rather clumsily has this sex at one's laptop session undercut by doing the Xander voice-over role himself, a shortcut that didn't pass muster.
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