- June Shannon: If a person farts 10-15 times a day, then they're healthy. So I guess my girls are healthy.
- Mike Thompson: When June sat on my lap, she didn't really ask for nothing... but I couldn't feel my feet.
- Alana Thompson: I named my little pig Glitzy because I'm going to bring her to the glitz pageants and we're going to win it all! That's a girl name: Glitzy. We're gonna make it a girl pig, so he's gonna be a little gay.
- Mike Thompson: It's not gonna be gay.
- Alana Thompson: Yes it is, because we're making it a girl pig! And it's actually a boy pig!
- Mike Thompson: Okay, but it's not gonna be gay.
- Alana Thompson: Yes it is! You can't tell that pig what to do!