30 Rock (TV Series)

St. Patrick's Day (2012)

Alec Baldwin: Jack Donaghy

Quotes 

• Jack Donaghy : Frank, first of all, what are you doing here on a Saturday?

  Frank Rossitano : None of the writers can go out on St. Patrick's Day because we all have faces people naturally just want to punch.

• Liz Lemon : I don't leave my house on St. Patrick's Day. Criss and I are going to ride out Hurricane Shamrock holed up in my apartment, laughing at excerpts from "Angela's Ashes."

  Jack Donaghy : You know, some people might find your attitude offensive.

  Liz Lemon : Oh, what are they going to do about it, write a meandering play about how amazing the Irish are at not overcoming adversity?

  Jack Donaghy : Well, I'm sorry we can't all belong to ethnic groups as beloved as the Germans.

  Liz Lemon : Please, without Germans, you wouldn't have any of the "Indiana Jones" movies.

  Jack Donaghy : Lemon, your secret love of the Irish is well-documented. After all, I am your mentor, you dated Dennis Duffy, and in the '90s, you gave money to the IRA.

  Jack Donaghy , Liz Lemon : I thought it was contributing to a retirement account.

• Priest : I'm sure you know the story of St. Patrick, driving the snakes out of Ireland.

  Jack Donaghy : I'm going to have to stop you right there, father, 'cause I know for a fact that there were never any snakes in Ireland, and St. Patrick didn't drive anything out of anywhere. Knock, knock. First of all, he was born in fourth-century Ireland. He might as well have been born in a grave. His only worldly possession was no snakes.

• Jack Donaghy : Excuse me, may I help you?

  Frank Rossitano : What? We don't use your bathroom when you're not here. I'm Lutz.