- Creed Bratton: In the parking lot today, there was a circus. The copier did tricks on the high wire. A lady tried to give away a baby that looked like a cat. There was a Dwight impersonator and a Jim impersonator. A strongman crushed a turtle. I laughed and I cried. Not bad for a day in the life of a dog food company.
- Toby Flenderson: Kelly Kapoor is gone. Her fiancé Ravi was hired as a pediatrics professor at Miami university.
- Kelly Kapoor: [tossing out winter coats] I don't need 'em anymore! I am going to Miami biotches to hang with Lebron James and Gloria Estefan!
- Toby Flenderson: Miami University in Ohio. On her last day, Kelly was still a little confused about it.
- Kelly Kapoor: Enjoy the snow losers!
- Erin Hannon: I'm so happy for you Kelly!
- [Kelly throws a coat on Erin]
- Oscar Martinez: I'm a dog person.
- Angela Martin-Lipton: If you pray hard enough, you can change yourself into a cat person.
- Oscar Martinez: Those guys always turn back, Angela.
- Kevin Malone: Oh, what a summer! An emotional rollercoaster. I ran over a turtle in the parking lot. But then I saved him by gluing his shell back together. But I'm not that good at puzzles. So, I patched him with stuff from around the office, but I couldn't get the pieces to fit right. Then one day, while I was reaching for the glue, I crushed his shell again. But I rebuilt him even better that time! But it turned out the turtle was already dead. Probably when I ran over him the first time.
- Angela Martin-Lipton: Well, I need to give my cat up for adoption.
- Kevin Malone: The one who uses the doorbell, or the one with the Mexican hat, or the one with the rain galoshes, or the one that you let go around naked.