- DCI John Barnaby: With all your powers of divination, perhaps you can tell me who did this.
- Mags Dormer: No. No, I foretell the future, Inspector. The past, and all its mysteries, is your department.
- Lawrence Janson: Are you familiar with the uncertainty principle, Chief Inspector?
- DCI John Barnaby: Um, I'm not really sure.
- Adrian Sharp: Prime law of of quantum physics. How you look at things affects what you believe you see.
- DCI John Barnaby: That's also the first law of criminal investigation, Professor.
- [last lines]
- DCI John Barnaby: You going out on an undercover job?
- DS Ben Jones: No, it's Kate's birthday, sir!
- DCI John Barnaby: Ah.
- DS Ben Jones: She said come dressed to kill; what d'you think?
- DCI John Barnaby: I'm sure you'll knock 'em dead. You left this in the car. So you had Mags do your chart.
- DS Ben Jones: No. No, it's a windup; it's rubbish. She got my details off my gran.
- DCI John Barnaby: Oh, I thought it was interesting; she predicts a, uh, close encounter for you this weekend.
- DS Ben Jones: Yeah, I'll probably crash the car.
- [Barnaby chuckles]
- DS Ben Jones: So, you're not up for this, then?
- DCI John Barnaby: Um, no. Sarah and I thought we'd have a, uh, a quiet night in, just the two of us and a, uh, scented candle.
- DS Ben Jones: Well, have a good one.
- DCI John Barnaby: You too, Jones. Whatever fate awaits you.
- Mags Dormer: George, the police are coming around. They're probably there, now.
- George Dormer: I told you they'd start digging around. I'll be in my shed.
- Mags Dormer: You were in your shed all last night.
- George Dormer: I was on moon watch. You have to do it in the dark.
- Mags Dormer: I wouldn't mind a husband whose idea of doing it in the dark was a bit more exciting than staring at the bloody moon.
- Mags Dormer: This is career gold, Tanya. Cheer up. Before you know it we'll be on the national news. Sun, the Star... the sky's the limit.
- Mags Dormer: Be immortal for as long as you live, Sergeant, because nothing is more certain in life than that it will end in death.
- Mags Dormer: As the old joke goes: I can remember our wedding as if it were yesterday; if it were tomorrow I wouldn't turn up.
- DCI John Barnaby: Anything more on Peter the plumber?
- DS Ben Jones: He's on a planet with the pixies, sir. Spent most of the time talking about extraterrestrial life.
- DCI John Barnaby: Ah, the Goldilocks Zone. Not heard of it, Jones?
- DS Ben Jones: Are we on the three bears now?
- DCI John Barnaby: [chuckles] The theory that life may exist on a habitable planet somewhere out there. One that's not too small and not too big and not too hot and not too cold, but... just right.
- [first lines]
- Man at gate: Park wherever you like.