Time Pirates (2022) Poster

(2022)

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5/10
A fun teen movie
BandSAboutMovies15 September 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I went into this movie totally blind with no idea that the band - SM6 - in it was an actual real band. Originally known as Smart Monkeys, they're an entire family - George, Isabel, Adam, Emily, Eliana, and Jack Jones - from Geneva, Illinois. They've built their name over TikTok, which is probably why I had no idea who they were and if you told me they were from Geneva, Switzerland, I would have believed that as I got strong Dollydots vibes from this movie.

In case you don't know them, they were an unknown in the U. S. yet loved in the Netherlands band that starred in the Cannon film Dutch Treat.

So now that I've established who SM6 are, it's time to discuss the movie they made. Better than you learning halfway through the movie why this band sounds so good like me.

Time Pirates is a Tubi Original in which the band plays themselves. Yet we don't see them right away. Instead, it begins with Captain Cooper (Jack Pearson) battling the dreaded Blackbeard (Richard Grieco, which when you think about it, is an inspired bit of Pirates of the Caribbean meta casting). As Blackbeard reads the tattoo on Cooper's arm in the middle of a swordfight, they're claimed by magical waves.

That's when I realized that this was an Asylum film, as that level - this is not a compliment - of special effects can't be mistaken. This was directed by Anthony C. Ferrante, who directed all of the Sharknado films, and written by Marc Gottlieb (Planet of the Sharks, Jungle Run, Top Gunner: Danger Zone - which is an incredible exploitation mockbuster movie name).

Years later, in modern Los Angeles, Cooper's ship the Red Queen is a tourist attraction in Los Angeles and the setting for SM6's new music video. When the band finds the treasure map and turns it into new lyrics for a song, it ends up sending them into the past, where they must find Blackbeard and get back to 2022.

To do that, they must find famous female pirates Anne Bonny (Angela Cola) and Beckett (Anna Telfer, who was in Planet Dune and Aquarium of the Dead) and, of course, single multiple songs and get a magic spell from The Crone (Dee Wallace!).

Maybe because I watched this at 2 in the morning I had more youthful joy in my heart as I really liked the pop energy of the songs. Is it what I would listen to? No, but you know, the fact that people are still making movies around bands makes me happy. It's bubblegum goofiness, but it made me laugh a few times - mainly at the bad looking effects - and it's an interesting way to promote SM6.
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5/10
Alright
formicary25 September 2022
Sub-par acting but great chemistry between the actors and the weirdest storyline. I've heard of SM6 from TikTok and some commentary YouTube videos, so watching it only based off of that was quite a wild ride. I was a bit confused as to if this was satire or not, but I decided to watch it like it was and I think that was a good decision!

I think the stand-out from this movie was actress Angela Cole who portrayed pirate Anne Bonny and sibling duo Jack & Eliana Jones. These three were my favorite part of the movie and I'm glad they get their spotlight here.

Quite a weird way to promote a band famous from the Internet but I'll take it. I think the platform, Tubi, isn't a good choice if they want to give the band more fans. Good luck, SM6!
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10/10
BEST MOVIE EVER
bsxvncqxq14 September 2022
This movie is truly amazing. The acting was amazing and the actors themselves had great chemistry and that really showed on screen. I highly recommend this movie to anyone i know. It's funny but the comedic part doesn't deter from the plot. It's truly my new favorite movie! I think the music also works well with this film, using SM6's songs incorporated into scenes was the smartest way to do it. It's family friendly also!! It uses the trope of a cheesy pirate movie to its advantage by making fun of it. It was a really smart approach to this genre of movie that's been hanging on by a thread. I think it's better than pirates of the caribbean in terms of the pirate aspect. It also gives off vibes of teen beach movie on disney with the time travel aspect. The end credit scene also set it up for a possible sequel! I'm so so proud of the whole cast and im hoping for a sequel!!
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