Community (TV Series)

Course Listing Unavailable (2012)

Ken Jeong: Ben Chang

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dean Pelton : Ben, how's it "deaning"?

  Ben Chang : Can't "com-Chang." Just needed you to sign this.

  [Hands dean a handwritten list of requests, full of kids' drawings] 

  Dean Pelton : Okay. Let's just... give this a little look-a-roo. "Request for increased security." "Cool new uniforms." I like that. "Power to enact martial law," not so much. "Indefinite detention, pepper spray, involuntary cavity searches... *no soft-serve*?"

  Ben Chang : All liquids and gels must be in sealed bottles no larger than 3 ounces.

  Dean Pelton : I'm sorry, Chang, this stuff is too extreme. This is a community college, not an inner-city High School.

  Ben Chang : It's a community college where a degenerate just blew himself up with stolen lab equipment.

  Dean Pelton : To be fair, it was the crystal meth inside the stolen lab equipment that blew him up.

  Ben Chang : That's the problem with you civilian suits. You want the results, but you don't want to know how the sausage gets made. Well, I'll tell you how the sausage gets made. It's a lot of ground meat and it gets stuffed into a casing that looks like a cross between a dude's dong and a poop.

  Dean Pelton : I don't know how that helps me, but please leave.

  Ben Chang : Fine, but you will regret this.

  Dean Pelton : I doubt it.

• Dean Pelton : Worst wake ever. I'm starting to get nervous about this.

  Ben Chang : Yep, it'd be nice to have some protection, right? Think maybe it's about time you signed this?

  Dean Pelton : Just promise me you'll use restraint.

  Ben Chang : Yep. Every type we got.