Ouch. Where to begin with this one.
First of all, I'm REAL easy to please with a movie like this. Give me some foxy outfits, and some ass-kicking chicks, and I'm all over it. Super Vixens, however, turned out to be incredibly difficult to sit through. And I watch all the most horrific horror movies.
This movie is "told" (with the flimsiest of premises) in three separate segments, each focusing on a different super-heroine. Here's the twist: Each is handily overtaken by the lowest form of street scum. Without much of a fight. Ok, so much for ass-kicking chicks. And I love it when evil wins in the end. But here's the problem with Super Vixens (actually, this movie has nothing but problems): All this movie told me were that men are superior, and abuse is OK. You've got Dirtbags vs. Demure young ladies, and it gets rough sitting through 90 minutes of it.
The action goes like this: Men punching women. In the face, in the gut, and, in all 3 segments, in the chooch. If you're expecting action, I'd advise you to run far, far away! The women seemingly possess no superpowers. I mean, they show them, but they're seemingly out of commission just when you'd think they'd make use of them. Not that they're any great shakes: Dagger throws icicles, Omega Girl can fly, and Valor IS Wonder Woman! Complete with Wonder Woman LOGO, golden truth-telling lasso, and bullet-deflecting wrist bracelets. (Batman also appears, as "Bats"). There is one crucial attribute that all three of these women lack: Basic fighting skills! So, big scumbags, two nerds, and a couple lame supervillians, beat up on 3 defenseless women.
Oh, it gets better! Ok, two things about this filmmaking team: They have absolutely zero concept of pacing, so unpleasantries go on for an ETERNITY, and the dialogue was written by grade-schoolers. I counted FIVE rapes in this (six, depending on your definition). And not your garden-variety R-rated rapes. Like, epic, I Spit on Your Grave rapes. The first 32 minutes of this movie is dedicated to the never-ending abuse of Dagger.
Two video game dorks and a goon (who suck lollipops!) capture super-heroine Dagger, chain her up, and render her defenseless. Turns out they want in on some supervillain guild, which is pointless, because it's never followed up on. No, the goon (actually, I like to refer to him as "The Groper." He appears in all 3 segments, with varying degrees of facial hair, and very clumsily gropes all 3 sets of boobs in this picture. Embarrassing!) mercilessly punches Dagger, for what seems like an eternity. Then there are THREE successive rapes(!) that, again, go on FAR too long. And by the third rape, she enjoys it?! Nice touch, guys. Oh another nice touch. These guys strive to be supervillains? The Groper is wearing a Batman belt buckle, and a Batman Begins t-shirt. Hmm, something's amiss there.
Wonder Wo... er, Valor is walking down the street, and some slimy sleazebag doesn't like the way she looks (uh, copyright infringement?). So their big scheme is, let's get TWO guys and we can overtake her! And overtake her, with little to no resistance, they do. They use her powers against her, you know the rest. Beating, groping, a rape. She's stabbed in the leg, and goes into hiding for 6 months. Decides she's had enough of that, and returns to the scene of the crime. And gets overtaken AGAIN! What in the living F.
They got an Australian porn star to play Omega Girl, and surprisingly, she does the best job with the part (frankly, she's swimming in a sea of turds, but nonetheless). By this point, I've lost track of any crumb of narrative thrown my way, but the gist is, Omega Girl flies somewhere to fight villains(!), at Bats' behest. The Groper appears in this one as a robot, and... you know the drill. There is an implied robotic rape, with hydrolics, that I actually found slightly amusing. No backstory here, but somehow these villains caught wind of the fact that OG's kryptonite is pulsating broccoli. Two villains cancel each other out in an amusing bout of CGI, and during OG's celebration dance, she is captured by a supervillain in a wrestling mask (and it ain't mic-ed). So, considering one fact I know about this actress, I'd say the groping, rubbing, and feeling is far more extensive and graphic in this segment. I'm certain The Groper was up to task! Lucha Libre tortures her with a belt sander-cum-vibrator?! Ya got me.
So, there's about to be 5 installments in this series. For who? Who is demanding this crap? Is it a vanity project for a testosterone-fueled woman-hater? To add insult to injury, I see at least two of these female characters return in future installments. SPOILER: They all die here. So this series doesn't even have continuity going for it.
Imdb forces me to give Super Vixens one star. It doesn't even deserve that. I'll check out Omega Girl's better "movies."
First of all, I'm REAL easy to please with a movie like this. Give me some foxy outfits, and some ass-kicking chicks, and I'm all over it. Super Vixens, however, turned out to be incredibly difficult to sit through. And I watch all the most horrific horror movies.
This movie is "told" (with the flimsiest of premises) in three separate segments, each focusing on a different super-heroine. Here's the twist: Each is handily overtaken by the lowest form of street scum. Without much of a fight. Ok, so much for ass-kicking chicks. And I love it when evil wins in the end. But here's the problem with Super Vixens (actually, this movie has nothing but problems): All this movie told me were that men are superior, and abuse is OK. You've got Dirtbags vs. Demure young ladies, and it gets rough sitting through 90 minutes of it.
The action goes like this: Men punching women. In the face, in the gut, and, in all 3 segments, in the chooch. If you're expecting action, I'd advise you to run far, far away! The women seemingly possess no superpowers. I mean, they show them, but they're seemingly out of commission just when you'd think they'd make use of them. Not that they're any great shakes: Dagger throws icicles, Omega Girl can fly, and Valor IS Wonder Woman! Complete with Wonder Woman LOGO, golden truth-telling lasso, and bullet-deflecting wrist bracelets. (Batman also appears, as "Bats"). There is one crucial attribute that all three of these women lack: Basic fighting skills! So, big scumbags, two nerds, and a couple lame supervillians, beat up on 3 defenseless women.
Oh, it gets better! Ok, two things about this filmmaking team: They have absolutely zero concept of pacing, so unpleasantries go on for an ETERNITY, and the dialogue was written by grade-schoolers. I counted FIVE rapes in this (six, depending on your definition). And not your garden-variety R-rated rapes. Like, epic, I Spit on Your Grave rapes. The first 32 minutes of this movie is dedicated to the never-ending abuse of Dagger.
Two video game dorks and a goon (who suck lollipops!) capture super-heroine Dagger, chain her up, and render her defenseless. Turns out they want in on some supervillain guild, which is pointless, because it's never followed up on. No, the goon (actually, I like to refer to him as "The Groper." He appears in all 3 segments, with varying degrees of facial hair, and very clumsily gropes all 3 sets of boobs in this picture. Embarrassing!) mercilessly punches Dagger, for what seems like an eternity. Then there are THREE successive rapes(!) that, again, go on FAR too long. And by the third rape, she enjoys it?! Nice touch, guys. Oh another nice touch. These guys strive to be supervillains? The Groper is wearing a Batman belt buckle, and a Batman Begins t-shirt. Hmm, something's amiss there.
Wonder Wo... er, Valor is walking down the street, and some slimy sleazebag doesn't like the way she looks (uh, copyright infringement?). So their big scheme is, let's get TWO guys and we can overtake her! And overtake her, with little to no resistance, they do. They use her powers against her, you know the rest. Beating, groping, a rape. She's stabbed in the leg, and goes into hiding for 6 months. Decides she's had enough of that, and returns to the scene of the crime. And gets overtaken AGAIN! What in the living F.
They got an Australian porn star to play Omega Girl, and surprisingly, she does the best job with the part (frankly, she's swimming in a sea of turds, but nonetheless). By this point, I've lost track of any crumb of narrative thrown my way, but the gist is, Omega Girl flies somewhere to fight villains(!), at Bats' behest. The Groper appears in this one as a robot, and... you know the drill. There is an implied robotic rape, with hydrolics, that I actually found slightly amusing. No backstory here, but somehow these villains caught wind of the fact that OG's kryptonite is pulsating broccoli. Two villains cancel each other out in an amusing bout of CGI, and during OG's celebration dance, she is captured by a supervillain in a wrestling mask (and it ain't mic-ed). So, considering one fact I know about this actress, I'd say the groping, rubbing, and feeling is far more extensive and graphic in this segment. I'm certain The Groper was up to task! Lucha Libre tortures her with a belt sander-cum-vibrator?! Ya got me.
So, there's about to be 5 installments in this series. For who? Who is demanding this crap? Is it a vanity project for a testosterone-fueled woman-hater? To add insult to injury, I see at least two of these female characters return in future installments. SPOILER: They all die here. So this series doesn't even have continuity going for it.
Imdb forces me to give Super Vixens one star. It doesn't even deserve that. I'll check out Omega Girl's better "movies."
