- Sookie Stackhouse: I can't keep lying. We're gonna dig ourselves deeper.
- Lafayette Reynolds: You think I enjoy it? I coulda sold your peach-pie ass out so many times I done lost count, and the one motherfucking thing I needed from you, Sook, is to zip it. And this is how you do me?
- Sookie Stackhouse: I didn't mention you.
- Lafayette Reynolds: No, you can save that for another day.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Lafayette, please. We did so many terrible things. The only way to crawl out of this hole is to start doing right. It's how Gran raised me. If you do the right thing, it'll be okay.
- Lafayette Reynolds: Oh, yeah, baby. You survive. You always do. But, goddamn, do you leave a trail of bodies behind. You know what? You the fucking angel of death.
- Bill Compton: [about Tara trying to kill herself] I remember the impulse. I had it myself for years. It'll pass. I promise.
- Tara Thornton: Well, I can't ever do it again, even if I wanted. Pam went all, "As your maker, I command you" on me. Which is a card I'm surprised y'all don't play more often.
- Bill Compton: Does Sookie know?
- Tara Thornton: What do you think? How many of us have nearly died just to save her sorry ass? Well, I did them all one better.
- Kibwe: Even a rumor of Russell's escape would be enough to defeat Vampire Rights bills in most countries.
- Alexander Drew: I got bills passed all across Scandinavia months ago. Just saying.
- Rosalyn Harris: Oh, please. The most liberal humans in the world. Hardly any radical believers to rock the boat. Even a child could do it.
- Nora Gainesborough: I swear fealty to the Blood and to the progenitor. The First, The Last, The Eternal. Father and Mother, Lord and Lilith, protect me as I protect you from now until the hour of the true death.
- Dieter Braun: [Watching the security feed] What a lunatic. It's like she means it. Wake up, sister. It's just a book. I know the guy who wrote it and he was high the whole time.
- Bill Compton: Is Sookie safe?
- Tara Thornton: Don't. You can't keep asking yourself that question. You can't worry about her above everything else. Look where it got me. I gotta move on.
- Bill Compton: Is she safe?
- Tara Thornton: Yeah. She's always safe. 'Cause there will always be some fool there to take a bullet for her. Always.
- Eric Northman: [about Tara] Why is she here?
- Pam De Beaufort: Uh... she's mine. I made her vampire while you were gone. Congratulations, you're a grandfather
- Judge Clements: I just came by to say thank you for clearing my son's ticket. I wish I could bring him to you for all his problems, but, uh, you ain't a gynecologist.
- Judge Clements: [to Andy] What say we celebrate? I found me a place that is gonna blow your top. Trust me on this one. You, too, Stackhouse. You can party, can't you?
- Jason Stackhouse: Uh, sure. If it's no bother.
- Judge Clements: The merrier, the more. Come on with.
- Deputy Kevin Ellis: I can party some.
- Judge Clements: [Ignores him] ... Okay. So I'll meet you two back here at 7:00.
- Sookie Stackhouse: [Drunk, singing] If you like piña coladas... And getting caught in the rain... If you're not into vampires... If they've shot half your brain... If you like making love at midnight... And not in a cemetery...