Criminal Minds (TV Series)

Snake Eyes (2012)

Matthew Gray Gubler: Dr. Spencer Reid

Quotes 

• David Rossi : I can't imagine why not. We're only asking for fifty thousand bucks of taxpayer money so that FBI agents can play Texas Hold 'Em.

  Emily Prentiss : Hey, what about you?

  David Rossi : What about me what?

  Emily Prentiss : You could stake us the buy-in.

  Dr. Spencer Reid : Yeah, you're a best-selling author.

  David Rossi : No!

  Emily Prentiss : Why not?

  David Rossi : One, it's against regulations, and I'd like to hold onto this job for a little while longer.

  Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau : It's a minor administrative violation.

  David Rossi : And two, I prefer to spend my money on actual things, like single-malt Scotch, a fine cigar, beautiful artwork.

  Emily Prentiss : Poker chips are things.

  Dr. Spencer Reid : Maybe just think of it as, like, a new experience. I mean, at your age, how often does that happen?

  David Rossi : At my WHAT?

  Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau : Rossi, this may be our only chance to get this guy.

  David Rossi : All right, fine. I'm a decent poker player, but I can't promise that I can stay in the game long enough to...

  Emily Prentiss : You know what? I bet you're a great poker player, but what if we sent in Reid?

  Dr. Spencer Reid : I am banned from casinos in Las Vegas, Laughlin, and Pahrump because of my card-counting ability.

  David Rossi : Look, I know I'm not a genius like the boy wonder here, but poker is not blackjack. It's about bluffing, reading human nature, head games. It's not math.

  Dr. Spencer Reid : That's not entirely accurate. There actually is a mathematical equation for knowing when to raise and when to fold. If "P" represents the size of the pot at the time of play, then P x N - 1, with "N" representing the estimated number of players at the final round of betting...

  David Rossi : Okay, fine. I surrender. Just try not to lose all of my money?

• Player #1 : I'm calling.

  Curtis Banks : I'll raise. Eight thousands.

  Dr. Spencer Reid : $8,000. That's 56 months' wages for the average person in Bangladesh. Kind of makes you think, doesn't it?

  Player #1 : Hey, it's eight thou to you. Now, are you in or are you out?

  Dr. Spencer Reid : I am in. And I raise.

  Dealer : Three raise.

  Player #1 : That's too rich for my blood.

  Dealer : Are you in, sir?

  Curtis Banks : I'll call.

  Dealer : Call.

  Dr. Spencer Reid : Straight.

  Player #1 : A gutshot straight draw? Are you kidding, me? That is just... just nuts. That's crazy.

  Dr. Spencer Reid : [reaches his hand to Curtis's key holder]  Do you mind if I take a look at this?

• Dr. Spencer Reid : Two eights instead of one could also be significant. I know in China the number eight symbolizes prosperity. The more eights, the better. As a matter of fact, in Chungdu a telephone number consisting of all eights was recently sold for over a quarter million dollars