Criminal Minds (TV Series)

Snake Eyes (2012)

Shemar Moore: Derek Morgan

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Derek Morgan : Hi, Miss Thing. Enough is enough. It's time for you and me to have a little sit-down. What's going on with you? Half the time I call, I get your voicemail. When I do get you, I don't get even a little bit of sass coming my way. Now, what's the deal? Hello!

  Penelope Garcia : Okay. Look. I get it that men and women are different and Venus and Mars and all that stuff, but I do not understand how you...

  Derek Morgan : Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, pump your brakes. What is this about?

  Penelope Garcia : You were in my shower at 7:00 in the morning.

  Derek Morgan : Because I shower at 7:00 in the morning. Baby, you had a little too much to drink the other night. You called me to come over and keep you company.

  Penelope Garcia : I know. I remember that, but...

  Derek Morgan : Okay, what happened between us was popcorn, and a movie on TV, which you fell asleep in the middle of, by the way.

  Penelope Garcia : So, you slept on the...

  Derek Morgan : Couch.

  Penelope Garcia : Yes, you did. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you, God, for maintaining the integrity of my most beloved of friendships, and from now on, I promise only mostly the purest of mineral water will cross these lips.

  Kevin Lynch : [enters]  Hey, plum sauce, are you coming?

  Penelope Garcia : Yes. I'll be right there.

  Kevin Lynch : Hey, Derek.

  Derek Morgan : Hey, what's up, man?

  Penelope Garcia : Since the fight, we have decided to have a standing date every Tuesday night.

  Derek Morgan : Good luck with that with this job. You got a great guy out there. You know that, right?

  Penelope Garcia : I know. What does a girl do when she has two great guys?

  Derek Morgan : She doesn't pour that extra glass of wine.

  Penelope Garcia : Yeah. Okay, love you, bye.

  Derek Morgan : Plum sauce?

• Penelope Garcia : [picks up a phone]  If this is a sales call on a Sunday morning...

  Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau : Settle. It's me, JJ. I tried your cell. Listen, something's come up. You need to get down to the office pronto.

  Penelope Garcia : Oh, you are kidding.

  Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau : I know. I wish psychopathic killers would be a little more respectful of our weekends, too, but what are you gonna do? Is everything okay?

  Penelope Garcia : No. Kevin and I got in a fight last night, and to self-soothe, I drank a lot of wine, and, JJ, you know I can't drink wine. Why did I drink so much wine?

  Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau : You'll be fine.

  Penelope Garcia : No, I don't know. 'Cause right now, everything is blurring. Oh, my God. My hair hurts. How is that possible? He's coming out of the shower. I hate confrontation. It was such a fight. I hate confrontation.

  Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau : Then don't confront. Just kiss, make up, and get your butt over here.

  Penelope Garcia : [ding-dong]  What is this, Grand Central Station?

  [knock, knock] 

  Penelope Garcia : Oh, God.

  [opens the door to find...] 

  Penelope Garcia : Kevin.

  Kevin Lynch : I am so sorry about last night. I should not have stormed out like that.

  Penelope Garcia : You stormed out?

  Kevin Lynch : Yeah.

  Penelope Garcia : You stormed out all last night?

  Kevin Lynch : Yeah. What's...

  [Garcia closes the door and sees Morgan] 

  Derek Morgan : Hey. You see we gotta go in, right?

  Penelope Garcia : Yes. Yes. JJ just called me, too. Let's go. My things. This is mine and this is mine and this is yours. This is mine. See you there.

  [opens the door, to Kevin] 

  Penelope Garcia : Hey, let's go.

• Derek Morgan : It doesn't take much to ignite a Mob war.

  David Rossi : And collateral damage means nothing to these guys. If we don't get a handle on this soon, innocent people are gonna die.

• Penelope Garcia : And that's why we were able to get a match on his prints so fast.

  Derek Morgan : You've always been fast, baby girl.

  Penelope Garcia : [freezes]  Eh, yeah. Got to go!

  [hangs up]