V/H/S (2012)

Joe Swanberg: Sam (segment "Second Honeymoon")

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Sam and Stephanie walk into an Old Wild West while touring around on their honeymoon] 

  Ol' Minor Fortune Teller : [the Ol' Minor fortune teller machine begins talking to them]  Believe it or not, this Ol' Minor here can see your future. Got some money? I'll tell you all about it!

  Sam : Got some money?

  Stephanie : I don't.

  Sam : How much does it cost to tell your future?

  Stephanie : I think it costs a dollar. But remember the movie Big?

  Sam : Are you afraid of your future? Hold on, let me see if I've got a dollar.

  [the camera cuts to Stephanie putting in a dollar and Ol' Minor begins talking again] 

  Ol' Minor Fortune Teller : Hey there, feller. This here's Pappy, and it must be your lucky day 'cause I have some words of wisdom just for you. Listen up, now, you hear? A closed mouth gathers no foot! Yep, yep. That's right. It's a whole lot better to say just a little bit than to say too much and wish you hadn't. You know what I'm saying? Now, don't you be a stranger. I got lots more to say to you.

  Stephanie : [a fortune card pops out]  Oh, here we go. Okay, ready?

  Sam : Yeah.

  Stephanie : [reads from the card]  A new turn of events will soon come about. A happy reunion...

  [the Ol' Minor machine begins talking again when Stephanie moves away continuing to read] 

  Stephanie : A happy reunion... a happy reunion with a loved one will make life all that you ever wanted it or dreamed it to be. You have a very trusting nature and are easily taken in by so-called friends. Do not be so anxious to do favors unto others, as there is one who is just waiting to take advantage of your good nature. A new turn of events will soon come about.

  [stops reading] 

  Stephanie : Happy reunion with a loved one. That's great. I'm gonna keep that forever.

  [Stephanie puts the card in her shirt pocket] 

• [Sam talks to Stephanie who's recording, about the strange girl that came to their hotel bedroom door] 

  Stephanie : Sam? Sam?

  Sam : What?

  Stephanie : Will you come out here and tell me what happened?

  Sam : Huh?

  Stephanie : Will you come out here and tell me what happened?

  Sam : What happened just now? Um... Well, somebody knocked on our door and I answered it, and it was a girl - well, I don't know. She was like, young, but not - not, like, a girl-girl. Like, maybe a college-age girl. And... She asked if we could give her a ride... like, tomorrow.

  Stephanie : Where?

  Sam : I don't know, it didn't get that far. It was, like, really creepy.

  Stephanie : That's so weird.

  Sam : You know, it is really weird. My only guess is that she must be just going door to door and asking everybody, but why wouldn't you, like, wait for people to be getting into their cars tomorrow to ask for a ride? It's, like, really...

  Stephanie : Maybe it's an emergency.

  Sam : It didn't seem like an emergency. And also, she's, like, not - she wasn't physically intimidating, but I got instantly... nervous. There's something really scary, about her, even though I wasn't, like, afraid she was gonna hurt me, but she was just, like, weird.

• [Sam questions Stephanie about taking money from him] 

  Sam : Did you take money out of my wallet?

  Stephanie : No.

  Sam : Yeah, you did.

  Stephanie : [laughing]  No, I didn't.

  Sam : Well, you must have because I had $100 in here...

  Stephanie : When would I do that?

  Sam : ...And now I have zero dollars in here.

  Stephanie : Well, I didn't. So maybe you didn't actually have that money.

  Sam : What'd you buy?

  Stephanie : [raises her voice as Sam quietly stares at her]  I didn't buy anything! I have my own money. I don't need to take your money.

  [pause] 

  Stephanie : Are you serious?

  Sam : Did you...?

  Stephanie : [Stephanie laughs while Sam smiles]  What do you think I did?

  Sam : Well, I don't know...

  Stephanie : I've been with you...

  Sam : ...Because the money's not here.

  Stephanie : ...This whole time.

  Stephanie : I've been with you this whole time. I have no idea what you could be possibly imagining right now.

  Sam : [clears throat]  Well, it wouldn't be the first time... I guess you decided to treat yourself.

  [recording ends]