This is one of those movies that pick a name similar to the one of a blockbuster to get a couple more views. This title is no exception, but I have to mention that the movie is bad even for B standards. The acting is absolutely laughable, the plot seems to have been crafted by a six year-old and the camera effects are even worse. Do NOT pay to see this, do NOT waste bandwidth trying to download it. The director should be shot and his ashes thrown into a garbage bin. There is some moderate nudity in the movie which simply does not make up for how bad it is. This is one of those films your friends will tell you to watch just to laugh at how bad it is. Don't listen to them. It's worse than that. It's an epitaph to human stupidity and a clear example of how not to make a movie.
12 Reviews
Worst Movie Ever
ffreds_116 April 2012
I pirated this movie on accident thinking it was a new men in black movie. After watching 15 minutes of it I started skipping into the other parts of the movie to see if it was all equally terrible. It was. The camera angels were terrible, the camera quality was terrible, the acting was terrible, and the script was terrible. The sound was annoying and the chicks were super gross. I was all like "ewww sick". Deleting the movie from my hard drive was not enough. I actually had to burn my computer and soak the ashes in holy water before the stain left on my soul was removed. Anyway, I probably wouldn't recommend this movie to my friends.
What was that??????
iffitheking14 April 2012
I tried, I really did try to appreciate this, but the LAME attachment to Men In Black (Its actually WOMEN IN BLACK-*COUGH* *AHEM* *LOL*)..when this is a very, very.........VERY lame parasitic attempt to siphon the fans of an actually entertaining franchise made me sick.
The story is non existent, You WILL often find yourself asking (To Yourself) "What the hell does this have to do with the theme of Men In Black? "WHY are these people having casual conversations about nothing in particular?", "Why am I here?", "Who stole the last 75 minutes of my life and how do I get it back?"
The "Character development" LOL...was a series of inconsequential conversations between inconsequential nobodies that lasted a total of about 10 minutes. The acting is C grade at best and From the start you can tell.
I think I would have enjoyed this more (Slightly)...If it weren't toted as a sequel to something obviously well beyond the scope of this director(And infinitely more enjoyable and entertaining). Stay within boundaries and tame your ambitions before they misdirect you sir, you set the scope way too high and failed to deliver the experience. Sorry but the truth stings when its not what you want to hear.
This was a total wreck and should not have been tied in ANY way to Men In Black. There are no aliens(More like low budget ghosts) although you will definitely feel alienated by the fallacy in its advertised motive(Sequel) and medium(MiB).
The story is non existent, You WILL often find yourself asking (To Yourself) "What the hell does this have to do with the theme of Men In Black? "WHY are these people having casual conversations about nothing in particular?", "Why am I here?", "Who stole the last 75 minutes of my life and how do I get it back?"
The "Character development" LOL...was a series of inconsequential conversations between inconsequential nobodies that lasted a total of about 10 minutes. The acting is C grade at best and From the start you can tell.
I think I would have enjoyed this more (Slightly)...If it weren't toted as a sequel to something obviously well beyond the scope of this director(And infinitely more enjoyable and entertaining). Stay within boundaries and tame your ambitions before they misdirect you sir, you set the scope way too high and failed to deliver the experience. Sorry but the truth stings when its not what you want to hear.
This was a total wreck and should not have been tied in ANY way to Men In Black. There are no aliens(More like low budget ghosts) although you will definitely feel alienated by the fallacy in its advertised motive(Sequel) and medium(MiB).
Avoid at all costs
pablo_max14 April 2012
Normally, I never bother to review movies. This time however, I feel that I am obligated to warn others. Do not watch this movie. Just don't do it. It is seriously bad. If you were to take the worst Sci-Fi channel original movie you can think of and wrap that in a High School students version of the x-files, it would still be better than this movie.
I think there was some kind of plot, but it was not easy to tell what it was exactly. There were a couple points in the movie where the some boobies were shown, so at least there was one positive point. I am trying hard to think of another. Oh, I know. At one point the two girl are walking through the woods, one in high heels for some reason. Anyhow, as they get close the beach they show a closeup of a nice Canon DSLR. That, I though, was a nice camera. I think that was pretty much the only good parts. If I had to choose between watching this movie again and beating myself to death with me own arm, it would be a simple choice.
I think there was some kind of plot, but it was not easy to tell what it was exactly. There were a couple points in the movie where the some boobies were shown, so at least there was one positive point. I am trying hard to think of another. Oh, I know. At one point the two girl are walking through the woods, one in high heels for some reason. Anyhow, as they get close the beach they show a closeup of a nice Canon DSLR. That, I though, was a nice camera. I think that was pretty much the only good parts. If I had to choose between watching this movie again and beating myself to death with me own arm, it would be a simple choice.
Horrible even for a B movie
Ithok117 April 2012
I love B movies, I grew up on cheap monster movies and they are a pleasure of mine. Saying that, know this. Men in Black Dark Watcher was beyond horrible. Easily the worst movie I have ever seen and thats after sitting through small town film fests. The lack of story was attempted to be covered by strange angles, fish eye lens tricks and and odd distortions which just make any attempt at taking the movie seriously impossible. The dialog was junk and the special effects, while low grade even for a B movie would have been passable if they didn't try to pile up multiple effects destroying every scene. The focus seemed mostly to have every female in the movie wear as little as possible and choose between two acting methods, stupid as possible or wet your pants scared. Neither worked.
To sum up: Horrible acting, too many cheap special effects, horrible camera and cheap story. AVOID AT ALL COSTS. Not even worth watching to make fun of.
To sum up: Horrible acting, too many cheap special effects, horrible camera and cheap story. AVOID AT ALL COSTS. Not even worth watching to make fun of.
This is awful!
MacShoreman17 April 2012
This is confusing. The poster and official web site states the movies name is "Dark Watchers - The Women In Black" but on IMDb the name is "Men in Black: The Dark Watchers". Decide please!
Film projects employs most often a mixed crew. You find professionals with lifelong experience mixed with those who are at the beginning of a career and learning. Some film projects with fantasy budget has perhaps the fewest inexperienced crew members as opposed to low-budget films. This is a super low budget film. I would not really categorize this film as a motion picture. Somewhere there is a lowest level that a film has to reach for me to call it a feature film. This film does not reach anywhere near that level. This is something else. An unsuccessful hobby project or school project maybe but certainly not some thing to charge the public for viewing. This production falls flat. I do mean everything. Among the most notable is the directing and camera / visualization. Regarding the actors performance - this movie will not boost anyone's career. Maybe it's bad directing, which is the cause? In that case, I sincerely hope that the actors and crew are given the opportunity to show what they really can perform in future projects. About the directing. I seldom say things "suck" but in this case after giving it a really long thinking there is no options: The directing of this movie really sucks. After watching this movie I digged in to Philip Gardiners life and production history and I am not surprised this is the result of his craft. Philip Gardiner is the living proof that quantity is not a measurement of quality. I do doubt we will ever see a Gardiner production nominated for an Oscar or any other significant award of recognition. Do not pay to see this movie. Rather call a distant relative you did not want to talk to the last 10 years than spend time on this.
Film projects employs most often a mixed crew. You find professionals with lifelong experience mixed with those who are at the beginning of a career and learning. Some film projects with fantasy budget has perhaps the fewest inexperienced crew members as opposed to low-budget films. This is a super low budget film. I would not really categorize this film as a motion picture. Somewhere there is a lowest level that a film has to reach for me to call it a feature film. This film does not reach anywhere near that level. This is something else. An unsuccessful hobby project or school project maybe but certainly not some thing to charge the public for viewing. This production falls flat. I do mean everything. Among the most notable is the directing and camera / visualization. Regarding the actors performance - this movie will not boost anyone's career. Maybe it's bad directing, which is the cause? In that case, I sincerely hope that the actors and crew are given the opportunity to show what they really can perform in future projects. About the directing. I seldom say things "suck" but in this case after giving it a really long thinking there is no options: The directing of this movie really sucks. After watching this movie I digged in to Philip Gardiners life and production history and I am not surprised this is the result of his craft. Philip Gardiner is the living proof that quantity is not a measurement of quality. I do doubt we will ever see a Gardiner production nominated for an Oscar or any other significant award of recognition. Do not pay to see this movie. Rather call a distant relative you did not want to talk to the last 10 years than spend time on this.
Very bad!
stevenspielberg198019 April 2012
I'm not sure if this was scripted or not, but I for one won't be casting them in ET 2!! The acting is very wooden and the background music overpowers the voices of the "actreses", I understood upon watching the film that I wasn't to expect much as it was an indie film but if you compare this film to the likes of peter Jackson's bad taste, it would make this film seem as though a 4 year old had both written and directed it!! Could I do better? More than likely, am I a director no, most certainly not! In fact this has inspired me to direct a movie, I'm going to call it, Attack of the Crap Movie!! I can at least now relate to the characters in this movie I seem to have lost just over an hour of my life, and I'm one step closer to death!
UNWATCHABLE is not even close
abd_alawwad7 May 2016
This is a very very bad movie I don't think I ever watch a movie bad than this one if there is a a very bad vote this will be in the bottom of the bottom of the awful bad movies its not enough to delete it from my computer I suggest if you read this before you watch it PLEASE delete it and DON'T watch this its completely waste of time, I wish I can delete this from my memory it will be there for ever it will be my baseline of my worst moment ever in my entire life and I don't think I'll have a more worst time I watched 1000's of hours of movies and I watched bad and awful movies but NOT like this one its by far the worst ever and I don't think there will be worst than this even if they try its NOT even possible to make a worst movie ever again they hit the bottom with this I and I wish this movie deleted from all the universe I think aliens will never come to earth if they watch this one, please don't watch this I wish I didn't do it, thanks.
A film for real UFO fans who really want to see a close to reality story!
electricchn16 April 2012
Going into this film thinking about the MIB franchise would potentially ruin a good Fear of the unknown dramatisation. The film started a little slow for me with some very arty woodland and coastal shots and some eirie music but don't be put off as the scenery was very nice to look at, then it picked up. As small budget movies go this has a really interesting Idea that kept me gripped, there was a feel of a documentary in most scenes which had me wandering if it was real at times and the cast seemed really relaxed with their surroundings until it happens. Towards the end of the film they looked to be really fearing for their lives. Overall when the film had finished I was satisfied with what I had watched, a spooky, quirky sci-fi. My favourite part of it was the blonde lead she made me chuckle at times and then had me very worried for her safety. All in all I do recommend you watch this film but only if you like the strange and wonderfully weird.
Not As Bad As Others Say...
James_Banner15 April 2012
This is nowhere near "the worst movie ever made" or even a "bland school project". It is, in my estimation, a fairly good and somewhat serious dramatization of the Men In Black mythology as outlined originally in Gray Barker's "They Knew Too Much About Flying Saucers" (1956) and its sequel, Albert K. Bender's "The Flying Saucers and the Three Men" (1962).
The acting is reasonably credible and it doesn't hurt that the leading ladies are young & beautiful. The camera work is above average and the cinematography is quite interesting and the black & white sequences are artfully employed. I really enjoyed the incidental music too and felt that it added a lot to the suspense.
If you're interested in the MIB mythology, I'd suggest giving this a view. It won't provide any revelations on the topic but I think it's a well-crafted film that deserves better reviews than it's getting here.
The acting is reasonably credible and it doesn't hurt that the leading ladies are young & beautiful. The camera work is above average and the cinematography is quite interesting and the black & white sequences are artfully employed. I really enjoyed the incidental music too and felt that it added a lot to the suspense.
If you're interested in the MIB mythology, I'd suggest giving this a view. It won't provide any revelations on the topic but I think it's a well-crafted film that deserves better reviews than it's getting here.
Could Be As Entertaining as Smith & Jones Efforts .
guestar5712 February 2012
This is not a sequel to those other movies,This effort is based on facts as we know them and governments make us privy to.
Philip Gardiner has brought us similar efforts,Perhaps not as successfully as this outing.
There are hot chicks,men in black and a alien or two.
This is filmed very unusually with almost a documentary feel and yet has elements reserved for some cable channels.
The MAN IN BLACK has some eerie moments with the women in scenes by themselves and sometimes as a same sex coupling.
The aliens come off as a negative image ( literally) and a pawn for MIB : Dark Watchers .
Much promise, great title with excellent timing of release and the girls are easy on the disc.
Philip Gardiner has brought us similar efforts,Perhaps not as successfully as this outing.
There are hot chicks,men in black and a alien or two.
This is filmed very unusually with almost a documentary feel and yet has elements reserved for some cable channels.
The MAN IN BLACK has some eerie moments with the women in scenes by themselves and sometimes as a same sex coupling.
The aliens come off as a negative image ( literally) and a pawn for MIB : Dark Watchers .
Much promise, great title with excellent timing of release and the girls are easy on the disc.
dark and mystical
brunocamuti17 April 2012
For me the film showed a fresh view of film making that I have not seen before. This involved interesting views and shots that helped capture what the director was trying to show. I enjoyed the individual performances and the shot locations were beautiful. The music was in touch with the motive and reflected the mood of the characters. There were also some moments that made me laugh, which just showed the versatility of the lead characters. overall a different approach to film making that showed inventiveness. Looking forward to seeing what Philip Gardiner will come out with next. As previous form has shown, we can surly be in for wildly different experience.
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