Bad Johnson (2014) Poster

(2014)

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5/10
Bad acting and directing. Hilariously crude writing.
chasequailman24 September 2014
Overall this movie was bad, not compelling, completely predictable (pun intended). The acting in it was fairly bad, as well as the directing and overall production of the movie. That sounds like a recipe for a 1 or 2 out of 10. But no, the writing and jokes in the script, although VERY crude, are hilarious to a certain audience. If that script had landed on the doorstep of the complete cast of This Is the End I think it would have been a success. The script and jokes therein are the only reason to watch this film. If nothing else, you can take away the one-liners and jokes from this crude and hilarious could-have-been. Jeff Tetreault needs a broader audience and larger scope of people to work with. And yes, I did have to look up him name on IMDb.
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4/10
Interesting storyline, but not a great movie...
paul_haakonsen25 August 2014
It should be said that "Bad Johnson" at least is a different kind of comedy. And when that is said, then it should be said that the movie was kind of a slow-paced and actually disappointing comedy.

Why? Well, for starters, then I didn't laugh a single time throughout the movie. And the little comedy that was incorporated in the movie just didn't really punch through on any scale.

The story is about Rich (played by Cam Gigandet) a guy who cheats on just about every woman that he goes out with. Until one day when he makes a distressed wish to be distanced from the source of his trouble between his legs. Waking up the next day, Rich gets a call from someone he knows intimately and things starts to go awry.

I will say that the idea behind the movie was interesting, but just a shame that it wasn't executed skillfully on the screen.

The acting in "Bad Johnson" was adequate, but the lead part could perhaps have been given to someone more enthusiastic and involved in the role. Cam Gigandet didn't really bring anything to the movie in any way.

"Bad Johnson" was a stale experience as comedies go, and I wasn't really properly entertained. As such, I am rating the movie a mere 4 out of 10 stars.
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4/10
Lose more faith in humanity.
rushknight30 August 2014
Ever say something you thought was funny but was sort of inappropriate? And for some reason you wondered what sort of scenario it would take to make it appropriate? This is the movie that creates the scenario that makes silly puns about genitals work.

There are few other qualities. There is also plenty of babbling and speculation about human love and relationships and the complexity therein. Although they generally try to treat the topic respectfully, the constant oversimplifications and stereotypes presented leave you shaking your head and simply saying, "No. It doesn't work that way, it's not that simple."

The implication that men can't help but think with their genitals is an old cliché that can really be fun if it's played well, but is still generally demeaning. Whereas the insinuation that women are so easily seduced by someone like this "Johnson" character is somewhat demeaning to the female gender.

All of it could have been done well, but really the whole film comes off pretty dry. It's only moderately entertaining, and not very romantic.

It also reminds me of a similar movie that came out in 1988 called "Me and Him." (tt2091325)
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2/10
Entertaining, but wait.....
rnblee1-480-5913085 April 2014
Warning: Spoilers
The premise of this film is entertaining... I mean, a sex mad bloke with no respect for women loses his penis (who itself becomes a sex mad bloke) leading to the original penis owner getting in touch with his descent side. OK, we get it... But riddled throughout the films dialogue are random unnecessary comments that are simply appalling.

An example being at the 48 minute mark. The penis, wearing a hoody, gets into a kids car. The kids thinks he is being robbed and shirks in shock/fear, to which the penis says "Relax, I'm white", resulting in the kid feeling immediately relaxed. I mean please.. I took offense to this straight away and thought enough was enough.

Slyly enforcing stereotypes of this nature is just petty and aids the erosion of faith in an entire demographic of society. Are we really saying that all carjackers are black... Not funny... not funny at all!!! Needless to say... I stopped watching at this point!!!
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Unexpectedly funny
jenny-quijada234 April 2014
Honestly, I really don't get a chance to see a lot of crazy movies with outrageous plots but I happened to stumble upon the movie called Bad Johnson and I must say it really had me entertained throughout the whole movie . The writing was just so witty and hilarious that by half way through the movie I had forgot he was arguing with his penis the entire time or at least the man that was suppose to be his penis. And yes, that is exactly what the entire movie was about. I was skeptical too and pushed play with low expectations but to my surprise, I will probably end up watching it over again when I need a good laugh after some jerk screwed me over. Hmm..how ironic?
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3/10
Really Really Bad...
atomicis1 February 2021
Usually if I write a less than favorable review I feel I owe it to the people who made the film to watch the whole thing. This movie has made me break that rule. It is just slow and tedious. I'm about halfway through it and I think I'm going to bail when I'm finished writing this. The redhead love interest, who I'm predicting will show the main character the mEanIng oF tRue LoVe, is one of the only actors here that can actually ACT. Now the missing penis character is lecturing a potential rapist in the error of his ways. Do yourself a favor if you're in the mood for raunchy comedy and watch "Something About Mary" again.
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1/10
Bland boring unfunny tedious awful movie
asiroka31 August 2014
Warning: Spoilers
I would venture to guess any review submitted above a 1/10 is submitted by people involved with the film. This is a film no one will enjoy. The type of person who would want to see a movie about a talking penis wouldn't want their main character to be an unrelatable stud. The type of guys who would like a movie about a stud guy who gets all the chicks and works out all the time are not the type of guys who would want to hear long winded speeches about how sleeping around is bad because women are people blah blah lame speech you've heard in 9 million other bad movies. Women wont like this movie that treats them like they are fleshlights who can never have more than 3 lines of dialogue in a scene. Its really bad but Its not so bad its good. its just unfunny cliché and bland bad. This movie is for no one.

It doesn't even have the premise the poster and title say it does. his penis is not replaced with a man who talks to him. There is just a full grown guy walking around who says he's his penis but rarely says anything that would lead you to believe he's anything other than his lousy brother. If you were to miss the unbelievably horribly acted scene where his penis calls him on the phone while wacky music plays and he acts like it makes some sense that his penis could call him. I guess he lives in a world of magic and wonder that we only see glimpses of in that every woman he meets wants to have sex with him after 1 second like in a porno.

The jokes aren't even jokes most of the time they don't even make any sense a lot of the time. Nothing in this movie is funny. sometimes gross things are mentioned which is not a joke. he mentions a girl had hairy nipples' that's gross and not a joke and makes me hate the movie. he said his "privates look like a Japanese mans armpit". What does that look like? thats not a common thing most people can relate to. a guy says oh "its like carrot top people go to see him but no one wants to sleep with him" Thats such a stupid thing to say carrot top is known for only having 3 somes because he has so much sex because he has 100 million dollars. oh that reminds me

That carrot top line was said while a character explains not to go to the hospital after his dickis cut off because hed be put on TV shows and exploited by the media. That's dumb logic even by this movies standards.

This movie sucks its painful to try to get through it. Its maybe the worst movie iv ever seen i mean there is nothing to like for anyone for any reason. its just lazy, unfunny and boring.

boo
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7/10
No so bad Johnson
FilmFlaneur26 September 2014
First off: this is a low budget, high concept film with no real pretensions, so don't come looking for deep meanings or Oscar-worthiness here. Second off: despite the frattish central conceit this isn't at all bad, and even manages to suggest, and comment about, matters of male sexual morality etc which much bigger, more earnest productions miss, or labour out of existence with good taste. 'Rich' Johnson, the titular hero, starts off as a helpless philanderer, losing a succession of girlfriends due to his inability to control himself. (He is however not entirely to blame, as one encounter demonstrates). After the most recent occasion of betrayal by him and the ending of another promising relationship thing rather personal separate and Johnson and his johnson have to learn to live with and then apart from one another.

The interesting thing about Bad Johnson is that Johnson's johnson is made human and not just a comic talking appendage. (It could for instance have been portrayed like 'Tonguey' in Kung Pow). Instead what we have is like that old Star Trek episode when the 'good' and the 'bad' Kirk co-exist after a transporter malfunction. The effect of this is to make the change less of a joke which runs out of steam after a few crude scenes, and the situation more susceptible to social comment, as the film ambles from its un-PC beginnings onto something more regular. Ultimately johnson shows himself in his newly independent form as a element of Johnson's ego (significantly this separate existence does not effect Johnson's libido)which is revealed as sometime-objectionable part of the male character. As Johnson gets along without his friend, so does his relationship with women improve and, surprise surprise, he becomes a much more likable fellow. Even if the words he later utters about the need to "say 'no'" seemed to this viewer to take the case against active sexuality a little too far, it is clear that the film does manage to pose some interesting questions about how much of stereotyped maleness is down to selfishness and a lack of self control and yet how both the good and bad parts of Johnson are together necessary for things ultimately to work.

The cinematography and direction are perfectly fine, and the cast acquit themselves well. I had a smile on my face throughout and, for a film like this, its all better than you'd expect.
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2/10
Bad Movie
dsody9 February 2016
Warning: Spoilers
This film should of been called "Bad Movie," instead of "Bad Johnson."

I think this film had potential that went to waste. I like the premise. I wanted to like the movie but it disappointed.

The main character was a horrible person that did horrible things but by the end of the movie he didn't learn anything. I have seen many films, that were comedies about sex. Films like American Pie, for example. That film at least had a good story and main characters that you cared about. There was a point to the whole story. This film was completely pointless, about some guy who cheats on and hurts the women he cares about. It also wasn't funny at all. If you are looking to watch a funny comedy about sex then I recommend the American Pie series instead.
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7/10
Totally amusing twist on a romantic comedy
ashleylv927 May 2014
This movie made me want to be a man so I could understand the struggles of Cam Gigandet. In fact, it made me want to be a man to understand the struggles of men in general. To see the way Rich Johnson suffered because of the loss of his penis was enough to make me wonder. Also, this is probably the most thoughtful a movie about a humanoid penis could get, but it was hilarious anyway. I enjoyed the interesting and extremely amusing, yet crude, twist on a romantic comedy that I otherwise would have been bored watching, since I usually don't even like romantic comedies. This one totally kept my attention from sheer ridiculousness, despite knowing that everything was going to work out in the end. The character who played the guy's penis really kept things interesting. So, if you like rude humor like I do, with a dash of cute, this is your movie!
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4/10
Could of been better!
mrharrybond25 November 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Okay, not the world's most greatest movie about (SPOILERS) a Penis becoming A human, exactly what other movies are like that? None. It bugs me that the idea was wasted on something like this movie. The movie had no actual funny moments apart from one moment that made me giggle. The movie is obviously aimed at young teens/adults but some of it just reminded me off a Kids program, which is shocking as it contains a lot of sex. I mean the movie seemed rushed towards the 2nd half. He went on to have met this women for the third time and he's in love already. I mean the movie was totally rubbish, but it's not a buy worth movie!
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8/10
An impressive first-time feature.
fmarquez19947 April 2014
I ordered this film on iTunes and was surprised at the layers it holds within its "raunchy- com" feel. What surprises the most about Bad Johnson is its versatility: it can be a dude's film, a sex comedy, a date movie, and many other things. Most important, however, is the genuine plight of this man with his sexual drive, and trying to come to terms with it as he finds an authentic, and committed relationship in his life.

Despite the comedic surrealism of the film's plot, Bad Johnson tells the story of many people today, both men and women and everyone that has dealt with some sort of hindering addiction. This works in delivering both the hilarious element of a detached penis, a man's worst night, but it doesn't shy away from telling a true and relatable story about an addiction, and a closer look into the modern-day womanizer.

As for the comedy, Jeff Tetreault's first feature film is an impressive debut that takes into consideration both the story and the necessary gags. Looking forward to seeing more work by this up-and-coming writer. But what really takes the prize here is the fantastic cast. All actors are in-tune with the comedic elements and the timing: Jamie Chung delivers the angry girlfriend stereotype brilliantly, Nick Thune is equal parts terrifying and hysterical, Katherine Cunningham is a newcomer to look out for, and Cam Gigandet steals every scene with a natural charm and a previously unseen versatility for every kind of role.

The film has its silliness, and its slips in over-doing some of the jokes, as any first feature will have (and especially one of the comedic genre)—however, I was surprised at how much work went into the making of this film.

Definitely worth it, a fun and impressive first-time feature.
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6/10
Not what I expected
Okay so I heard about this movie and my immediate thought was "What?" However, after watching the movie, I thought it was actually really funny. The film had the predictable storyline of a classic romantic comedy, but it still had scenes that threw me for a loop. Nick Thune gave a hilarious performance as Rich's dick, and still managed to keep some humor when things turned semi-serious at the end. Cam Gigandet skillfully played the role of "douche-turned-loving-boyfriend" and I thought there was good character development. As for the film as a whole, I think it managed to convey the message of taking responsibility for one's own actions and to be honest, while still being entertaining and overall weird. If you're skeptical about the movie, I would say give a shot and you might find that it's very enjoyable.
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1/10
Just Awful
santurcedc30 November 2020
Please don't waste your time watching this foolishness.
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A fun comedy
Gordon-111 May 2014
This film tells the story of a serial philanderer who is shocked to fins that his penis detaching from him to become a separate person.

"Bad Johnson" is a really fun comedy. Everything is clichéd, unbelievable but predictable, but that's part of the fun. Cam Gigandet is very charming as the serial philanderer, and he get a huge lesson in how to treat the female of the species right. It is a sex comedy and a romantic comedy combined in one. Guys will find it hilarious, and girls will like it for the heartwarming romance.

I find "Bad Johnson" very funny and entertaining. Just don't take it seriously!
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5/10
Poor plot but good film
dannycosta9524 April 2014
Warning: Spoilers
This movie is about a playboy incapable of being in a serious relationship due to always cheating on his partners. As a consequence he looses his penis and after a lot of blah, blah blah... (spoiler alert!) gets it back when he learns his lesson and (surpise!) he is happy ever after! Yeih!.

Despite the twisted and not so good plot, I think the film was well achieved and the actors good performance allows you to actually hate the long lost "d**k". Plus, is a nice way of killing 2 hours when you're bored. Just don't set your expectations too high and you should be able to enjoy it.
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6/10
Better than what I thought
BlindMan-1120 January 2015
The concept is original and the actors, working with a script that could have had a bit more work done to it, did still come off as entertaining.

Actually, this movie could be really one for ladies more so than guys. There are so many ladies who could understand how a guy can be the way that he is with his junk. Not that anyone should want to have a guy lose his junk but just take some responsibility for it.

And guys could laugh at the prospect of their junk taking on their own life so that they could see how it looks to actually watch their junk in action and cringe.

Well worth the watch!!
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6/10
WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FRIENDS
nogodnomasters11 October 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Rich Johnson (Cam Gigandet) is the type of player everyone of us knows. He allows his little head to do all his thinking for him. Rich makes a wish for his life to change, at which point his "little head" becomes detached and its own person (Nick Thune). Bad Johnson becomes out of control and makes Rich's life miserable creating oodles of symbolism, metaphors and puns.

The overall problem with the film is the juvenile nature of the topic exceeded the comedy. Not as bad as an Adam Sandler film. It did have a few good enjoyable scenes, but overall, the film is just a rental to watch and forget.

Parental Guide: F-bomb, sex, nudity.
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9/10
Hilarious, crude but oh so funny...
bsant5426 August 2014
Yup, he lost his Johnson and Johnson was a ho and evil to the core about getting laid. Our hero becomes a normal person in the end and is reunited with Johnson...there are a lot of great lines in the movie, crude, but I howled throughout. No point being a prude and worrying what others think, we have all heard this before in our private lives...so indulge, have fun, laugh out loud and enjoy this juxtaposition of a movie (guy and his private part). The Johnson actor made the movie and the eye candy Gigandet for once was just a foil (feel sorry for him as most of the roles he gets are RomCom, I think he is a more capable actor than that). Enjoyable up to the end and yes, the ending was predictable but who could have guessed an erectile dysfunction drug would triumph over all things bad...too funny. BTW, midway or more in the movie, when Johnson enters a young man's car (having just been rejected by his date) the advice he gives is hilarious and SO bad you have to laugh out loud.
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7/10
Original!
paul-ayres-607848 February 2019
Haha.. very funny movie and so original. Just the concept is enough to make me laugh. It is well acted with a good funny script and a clear message. Nothing more to say really. Obviously not to be taken too seriously.. just enjoy!
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6/10
Surprisingly Better Than Expected
fredgfinklemeyer16 January 2019
01/16/2018 Expected little butt got a little more? Not awful, storyline with a clever premise and somewhat funny at times, butt (again) preDICKtable. Bon Appetit
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7/10
Movie Royalty
michaeltrivedi28 December 2019
If ever there was a movie to bow down to, in all its glory and authority, it would be Bad Johnson. It is comical, and so funny!!! It's top notch entertainment. I don't think movies get any better than this. This makes me proud to be a cinefile.

The story is about a player type fitness trainer. One day, his penis magically comes to life as a person, and causes chaos around town, having sex with basically anyone it meets. It goes through online dating, meeting in person, etc. He even hooks up with a drive thru attendant at a fast food joint. Eventually, the penis tries to ruin the players reputation by showing his girlfriend that he has no penis. It doesn't work, and the penis ends up back on the player, and the player gets the last.

The lead actor is all fine and dandy. We've seen him before, and he's cool. But what shines forth in all its glory is the penis character. Just so much fun!!! The antics he gets into. He's just a wild character. Possibly the funniest character I have ever seen on screen.

You have to watch this. One of my personal favorites!!

Bad Johnson, remember the name!

7 stars
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10/10
Star Kid.... I think Not.
geoffreydukes234 April 2014
I saw this film and had the opportunity to work on this film back in 2012.

First off, Don't rate a film you haven't seen... Its wrong and not ethical by any means...

Second off, please do your research next time because this film doesn't even have the same story line as star kid and yes I watched the unbearable star kid youtube video.... and the writers script was written and registered w/ WGA years before Starkid was even a production (again do your research-because that means starkid could've copied an idea since the original script was leaked online back in the day)...

The film does have witty dialogue and has its raunchy moments; but the film has heart in the end of it all. I thought Nick Thune was great as well...

Again, don't rate a movie unless you've seen it and don't accuse a film from just assuming...
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10/10
Bad Johnson Surprise
ambacallao27 May 2014
When I first heard the title of this film I was definitely nervous, but this film ended up taking me by surprise! Bad Johnson actually has a great story hidden under the hilarious absurdity that is a man's penis coming to life. Cam Gigandet and Nick Thune are hilarious and were definitely the perfect choices for this crazy, roller coaster film. I think if you're looking for a great comedy film that actually tells an interesting and rewarding story, this film is perfect for you to watch! A funny film with an interesting story line is hard to come by and I can say whole- heartedly that this film has both and more. I found myself relating to some of the moments in the film and just laughing at some of the more absurd situations. This film is a balanced combination of humor and story and I would recommend it to anyone who asked!
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8/10
Really funny movie
mgweixelbaum7 April 2014
Although I was a little apprehensive about seeing a movie about a man's detached penis that comes to life, I thoroughly enjoyed Bad Johnson. It is the perfect raunchy sex comedy and the cast of characters all had great chemistry. The best parts of the movie are the hilarious one liners sprinkled throughout – most of them come from main character Rich Johnson's (Cam Gigandet) penis (Nick Thune). Thune has a couple of really great quips that really make the movie enjoyable. I was laughing all the way through the movie. There is a message too; Bad Johnson is not just silly shenanigans. Despite the film being a sex comedy, it is surprisingly sweet at times and over-all very funny and enjoyable.
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