SEAL Patrol (2014) User Reviews

An OK Predator-style movie

[l-vrtis · 5/10 · 15 February 2014]

This movie is very similar to the original Predator and Resident Evil movies but it lacks their quality. The strongest side of the movie is the military action, which is on par with the best of the genre. The team is well equipped and the tactical element is well handled except maybe the use of scope indoors. However, the story is somewhat weak (goes with the genre) and the special effects quite cheap so when it comes to the sci-fi stuff and explosions, this movie feels 10 years old.

Generally, if you are a fan of either Predator or Resident Evil, this movie will not disappoint. If not, stay away from this one.

Hardly worth the watch

[piersma · 3/10 · 13 February 2014]

I based my decision to watch this on the rather positive review and was disappointed.

The story is flimsy, there doesn't seem to be much of a connection between events.

The characters are flat, as a viewer I didn't see any personal side of the roles being portrayed, as a result of this, none of the potentially heavy events (deaths) moved me in the slightest.

The acting is poor, especially one 'grumpy character' is being portrayed in an overdramatised way, there's a sense of high-school-play.

the effects are rather fake and some shots have obviously been used several times (bullets hitting, undefined movement) The black and white stills didn't quite add anything either.

there is no buildup of tension whatsoever.

Wouldn't recommend anyone to watch.

Blackjacks

[nogodnomasters · 4/10 · 20 January 2018]

The working title for this film was "Blackjacks" the name of the private operating group that conducts itself as Navy Seals. I suppose "Seal Patrol" test marketed better in the US, even though there is no real patrol or SEALS. An incident happens, or is caused by Dr. Whitmore (Roark Critchlow) at a private secret underground reactor in Khazakstan, a nation Herman Cain can't find on a map. Once communications is lost Silicon Sara (Tina Casciani) who only gets important messages while in the shower, thank you, is the first to know. Her boss (Eric Roberts) hires the Blackjacks to find out what is going on at the facility. They take along with them Lisa (Kristina Anapau), a psychic human bloodhound with the expected minor telekinetic powers who doesn't shower.

Once they arrive, you can start scratching your head like you did watching that Indian Jones and Crystal Skull thing.

The movie was done in a faux-grindhouse style, not knowing what direction to take. The acting was horrible (hint: Eric Roberts is top billing). The plot was poorly developed. The character building was ineffective. You do get to see the creature who sees life through a green filter, about 15 minutes from the end of the film. Feel free to help yourself to a "B" and cheese rental.

Parental Guide: F-bombs, shower nudity (Tina Casciani). No sex.

Good Enough to Watch Again Sometime

[shroyertour · 11 February 2014]

I just watched this recent flick with a friend. We wanted something to accompany our corn chips and cream cheese, and various forms of libation. We thought the joke would be that the movie would go well with the "cheese." We were both pleased to find that the movie, an action/military/science fiction film, was actually well done. The opening scene was a rather cleverly done shooting range/simulation test where a new recruit of the "BlackJacks" seeks to qualify. The BlackJacks are an elite, highly trained, ex-military, blah blah blah... ala the Navy SEALs. You get the idea, although no actual SEAL seems represented. From there, we were hooked.

There are no big stars in this movie, a couple I know I have seen here or there, and some who have done voices for action/military genre video games. They all do their parts credibly to provide an enjoyable view. Eric Roberts is the only one with a household name. And he does his usual good job adding some class and sophistication to his role. He is a CEO who sends the 'Jacks into Afghanistan to his super-secret but malfunctioning lab to recover the genius in charge of some experimental energy research.

The action is fairly constant but not overdone. Hardware and tactics seem authentic and believable. It has the look and feel of one of those action/military video games like Call of Duty, with good cinematography instead of expensive special effects. The science fiction comes in when stuff goes wrong and it becomes clear why the lab is off-line. There is also some gore here, but it's not overdone either. That and some brief nudity get it an R rating.

All in all, this movie held our interest and was fun to watch. If you like action movies with a military flavor, I recommend this movie to you.

Seal Patrol? No aquatic animals in sight.

[dfrohlich-913-885160 · 1/10 · 24 March 2014]

I watched this film cause someone gave it a okay review, and I thought I was going to watch a film about the U.S.'s elite fighting force, wrong.

Stop there do not waste your time or money on this film, as someone has already pointed out the title is very miss-leading, the characters may of been ex-seals so why use this title? should of been called "Mercenary Patrol" if any thing.

Then we come to the acting/story line oh dear oh dear oh dear, the most exciting part of this film was the shower scene, then you have to ask yourself why was it shown, apart from showing the young ladies obviously curvy body.

My advice to the director are words that remind me when I was at school...."You could do better".

terrible

[Abdulxoxo · 4/10 · 10 September 2020]

Only an idiotic person would keep shooting at something that's obviously bulletproof or anything-proof. poor script. the background score is very annoying and distracting. mediocre acting. the whole supernatural and extraterrestrial thing doesn't fit with the premises of the movie. there are quite a pretty faces to look at tho haha.

Attractive people playing army

[bitbucketchip · 4/10 · 8 January 2024]

For 75 minutes a group of attractive people allow themselves to be filmed. That's pretty much all there is to this not-quite movie. You're supposed to believe sabotage at a research facility in Kazakhstan released a monster and only a collection of pretty people from the US could stop it. You won't believe that for a second.

The acting peaks - and I can't believe I'm saying this - with Eric Roberts. It's all downhill from there. The majority of these folks aren't even actors by profession; they're former special forces soldiers.

The camera work is an abomination. Dutch angles, weird close ups, off center distance shots. All inappropriate, none of it works. It's as if the extent of the cameraman's training was skimming through a cinematography textbook written in a foreign language.

The editing, likewise, is an affront to the senses. Scenes flicker, shift focus, spin around, and lack any sense of continuity. I don't know much footage ended up in the cutting room floor, but they should have spliced that together and realized it instead of this mess. It can't make less sense.

Four stars for seventy five minutes of pretty people chatting, playing army, and taking showers. No stars for the director who neglected to tell anyone he was making a movie. Four stars.

Not Predator as we know it

[jhmoondance · 8/10 · 4 December 2021]

Well.....this was completely different from Predator. It had creatures of the four legged variety not the two legged.

It was still good n full of action tension n suspense but took a while to kick in.

The story was good but the plot was lacking. Still a good watch though.

Decent special effects on the creatures.

The ending was done well but pretty much predictable.

I would recommend this movie especially if you like creature features n plenty of soldier action. A really good watch but don't mistake it for Predator.

Quite watchable actually

[hobotshy · 6/10 · 17 August 2014]

Not bad at all if you don't expect blockbuster production. Characters mostly make logical decisions, it doesn't insult your brain. Nice military tactics, with lots of spec ops equipment. Special effects could be better, and there is very little character development, but movie is overall pleasant surprise.

I was expecting low budget horror movie, but decided to give this one a chance. I liked how special team members mostly follow almost all that you can see about close quarters combat in other documentary shows. Acting is not great but watchable.

And there are some very nice looking ladies in the movie...

Don't waste your time

[pquodling · 12 February 2014]

D-Grade Story Line, C-grade acting. I should have stopped watching with Eric Roberts started strutting around the screen. poor visual affects whenever the "bad guy" comes up. Poor military tactics for a group of supposed spec-ops players. Non-sensical "twists" in the story line.

For the life of me, the "Seal Patrol" reference is vague - some of the the protagonists might have once been seals, but even that is a stretch.

As I said - not really worth wasting one's time on.

I am regretting having watched it, when I could have been doing something more productive like cutting my toenails.

I had something like this happen to me before

[bill-slatts-92 · 24 February 2014]

Back in the day while working at Black Mesa Research Facility I arrive to work late I quick put my hazard suit and got to work in the Anti-mass Chamber.

Where I was then instructed that I would be using the rarest and most unstable specimen. once I pushed the specimen into the Anti-Mass Spectrometer aka a nuclear reactor I open some sort of rift and alien type creature pop up and took over the world

this movie reminds me of that one nasty day that happen to me

But Watch movie

Or Just play Half-life you will get the same enjoyment

Gordon Freeman Signing out cheers

B Grade action movie

[toshiko-kadir · 18 February 2014]

SPOILER ALERT : Cheesy music of the B-C grade quality of films. Weak plot and average acting. The best are the military action sequences with a semi-polished team of soldiers. Believable in the style of Acts of Valor. I'd skip this movie ... and a 2-star rating is really for the military action. The mysterious element isn't interesting enough. One languorous and slow sexy shower scene gets some air time but you wonder why the director had to put a scene in which doesn't really have anything to do with the plot. But a beautiful body nonetheless. Oh...at the very end, I felt like it was a VERY poor version of the Alien franchise without any kind of suspense or believabilty. I still can't believe I watched it to the end