2 Broke Girls (TV Series)

Pilot (2011)

Kat Dennings: Max Black

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Hipster #1 : Excuse me.

  [while Snapping His Fingers Obnoxiously To Get Max's Attention] 

  Hipster #1 : Waitress. Dude!

  Max Black : Hi, what can I get ya?

  Hipster #1 : We need some...

  Max Black : [Cuts Off Hipster #1 By Snapping Her Fingers Obnoxiously In His Face]  Is That Annoying?

  [Continues To Snap Her Fingers In Hipster #1's Face While Talking] 

  Max Black : Is that obnoxious and rude? Would you find that distracting if someone did that to you while you were working? Oh you don't have a job sorry.

  Hipster #2 : Damn, dude, she burned you.

  Max Black : Oh,

  [Snaps Her Fingers In Hipster #2's Face] 

  Max Black : No hipster. No. Do not think we're on the same team we have nothing in common. I wear knit hats when it's cold out, you wear knit hats because of Coldplay. You have tattoos to piss off your dad, my dad doesn't know he's my dad. And, finally, you think

  [Snaps Her Fingers Obnoxiously In Hipster #1's Face Again] 

  Max Black : this is a sound that gets you service, I think

  [Snaps Her Fingers Obnoxiously In Hipster #1's Face Again] 

  Max Black : this is the sound that dries up my vagina.

  Hipster #1 : The other waitress disappeared, the Russian one, we need horseradish.

  Hipster #2 : Please.

  Max Black : That ladies is how you treat a waitress.

• Customer : [referring to the waitress who is having sex in the fridge]  Where's our other waitress?

  Max Black : She's coming.

• Earl : My little cupcake brought me a cupcake. Let me pay you for that.

  Max Black : Oh no no no, it's on the house. It's your birthday. How old are you going to be?

  Earl : Seventy-five.

  Max Black : Oh Earl, if you were just three years younger.

• Max Black : [to Caroline, pointing to them on the table]  Go marry the ketchups.

  [Caroline looks at the bottles and, not knowing what the phrase really means, literally puts the bottles in pairs, then looks back at Max] 

  Max Black : Okay, now divorce the ketchups.

  [She starts splitting each pair up] 

  Max Black : Okay, stop!

• Max Black : Is this where I am supposed to feel sorry for you?

  Caroline Channing : I mean I don't want you to. But, just so you know, a well adjusted person would.

• Caroline Channing : I may have enhanced my resume.

  Max Black : Enhanced? What are we, in Paris?