Wilfred (TV Series)

Conscience (2011)

Jason Gann: Wilfred

Quotes 

• Ryan Newman : Behold... The instrument of Drew's destruction. Bzzmm... My ping pong paddle from when I was all state table tennis champion.

  Wilfred : So, chemistry, biking and ping pong. I guess my only question is, why were you not blowjobbed to death by the entire cheerleading squad?

• Ryan Newman : What's the one thing Jenna hates most about Drew?

  Wilfred : Vaginal tearing from his huge cock.

• Ryan Newman : He's a sore loser. Look, all I have to do is beat him at something, and make sure Jenna's there to see him lose his shit.

  Wilfred : That's the stupidest, most ridiculous... Actually, that's pretty good. But there's one problem. Drew's a born winner, and you're... you.