- Mary Shannon: I peed on a stick, that's it. For all I know, I'm not pregnant.
- Marshall Mann: Those tests are really accurate.
- Mary Shannon: You never heard of a false positive? There's a million ways those tests can go wrong.
- Marshall Mann: [skeptically] A million?
- Mary Shannon: There are ways, Marshall.
- Marshall Mann: You led the sharpshooting seminar in WITSEC training. I'm pretty sure you didn't miss the stick.
- Dr. Wolk: Congratulations, by the way. How far along are you?
- Mary Shannon: What? How did you... Am I seriously that fat?
- Dr. Wolk: Mary, I see you regularly. And also...
- [Dr. Wolk glances at Mary's breasts]
- Dr. Wolk: ...kinda hard to miss.
- Marshall Mann: I know you're pregnant, I know you know you're pregnant, and I know you don't want to be pregnant, so you're gonna put off dealing with it for as long as you can.
- Mary Shannon: My God, please don't be that guy.
- Marshall Mann: What guy?
- Mary Shannon: That guy. The guy who thinks he knows what's best for the girl. I hate that guy. That guy's a dick.
- Marshall Mann: Erratic hormonal surges duly noted.
- Mary Shannon: [looking through pictures for Brandi's wedding video] Holy... Who goes as Gandhi for Halloween?
- Brandi Shannon: It was Sinead O'Connor.
- Mary Shannon: Oh.