Anthem (2011) Poster

(2011)

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2/10
Time wasted
SixteenFiftyNine10 December 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Okay, as of writing my review there are 3 reviews here for this "movie" already. Two of them rate it a 1 and one rates 10. 10? Seriously, it's nowhere near a 10 in any sense. Make no mistake, this is far closer to the 1 ratings than a 10 for anyone being honest. I moved it up one because it seems lit well, it's in focus and the actors were okay looking. Yay. The acting, story and directing are all subpar. I started off watching with the intent to watch it all the way through as I was curious what it was about since I had only a one sentence description to go b. Quite quickly found myself ffwding in bites to see if it had any merit at all, it really doesn't. If you're bored, looking for something new to watch and found this you'll probably want to not waste the time. That said, I'll bet this is a story derived from some real-life Scottsdale living. ;) That part I'd bet is not exactly inaccurate.

As for the comments in the parents guide, the 2 longer entries supposedly describing two different sexual scenes are completely inaccurate and quite simply worded to entice a viewer with nonsense. I found them pretty funny when I saw them. Yep, there's some nudity on top and behind as well as simulated sexual interaction, typical R rating stuff, not NC-17 or Unrated and certainly not X or XXX. The breasts aren't large as per the descriptions, there is no labia in view in any scene so whoever wrote those either had wild imagination or is an incel living in mom's basement and never actually encountered any of those in real life so they were at a loss to actually recognize anything. Maybe if it were as described this could fit someone's needs as an adult "film." This "work" is simply a bad attempt with some token nudity to try to entice people to watch it. I was really generous giving it 2 stars.
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1/10
Get yourself a neck cushion...
Angry_Santa27 June 2020
... you'll need it to soften the blow from uncontrollably and violently shaking your head whilst trying to watch this steaming pile.

Remember stumbling across your dad's "adult" videos from the 1980s, and wondering why they even bothered to pretend to act? Well this movie features writing, acting and production values on par with those movies - but with absolutely none of the "good bits."

Give this thing a very wide berth.
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1/10
Leave your socks in the drawer
unholytomato5 October 2021
If you were hoping for some cheap entertainment for your spank bank, this is not the Droid you're looking for.

I forced myself to watch it because it seemed the right thing to do. It was not. I couldn't even stay awake long enough to keep a minichub going.

The other review about your dad's films from the 70s or 80s is correct. Except they actually did try to actually act here, although I am using a lot of latitude when I say "try".

I'm not sure who blew whom to get in the cast, but this entire film blows, in spite of the ironically non-existent amount of blowing. In the annals of film this should just go down...and stay there.
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10/10
LIFE PURSUITS GONE TERRIBLY WRONG
rlsspecial1 June 2019
Warning: Spoilers
While this movie was especially special for me because of the location, it is terribly sad that a loving relationship got destroyed because the couple put their individual goals ahead of their bond with each other. It really pulls on a romantics heart strings. Thus an absolutely great film because it draws you in.
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